Thriving in YOUR Super Busy Life!!

Can We Really Have It All?

2011-04-26T11:23:00.001-04:00

Nine Ways to Move up the Ladder at Work

2011-04-26T11:23:00.000-04:00

How to Manage Your Inner Critic

2010-02-21T13:51:00.005-05:00

Many of my clients and several audience members often remark that they feel somewhat like an imposter because they're not as bright, capable or successful as others perceive them to be. They're often afraid someone may find out. If you share this issue, this article interestingly helps you manage your inner critic. If you need more help, 1-1 coaching may be the solution to help you break through your blocks and be more confident and successful in your own eyes. Call or email me to discuss your needs. And, don't worry, our conversations are strictly confidential!

View the Harvard Business Review article: How to Manage Your Inner Critic

Flying Solo

2010-02-12T00:40:00.002-05:00

To my amazement, and many others, my 78 year old dad flew up from Florida this afternoon by himself! He's never flown alone before. He asked his 98 year old aunt for advice because she's flown alone quite frequently. And, he has health issues! But, he was determined to be here for my niece's (his Granddaughter's) wedding this Sunday.

This makes me wonder, how often do we hold ourselves or others back because of what we perceive is possible or not possible?

I'm interested in your comments about this. Post here or email me privately!

DEFEATED!

2010-02-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely defeated! After spending quite some time clearing a path through the snow yesterday and having just about every bone in my body aching, we got more snow! This morning our 450 foot long driveway that my 15 year old cleared down to the blacktop at around 2 pm yesterday was now covered in another 6-8 inches of heavy snow. My husband was stuck in NYC and had been there through the entire storm.

Although I got very little work accomplished yesterday because of the time spent clearing the sidewalk, driveway and cars, today was already shaping up to be the same! I really thought my life was already SuperBusy, this snow just added a whole other dimension that I certainly didn't need.

So, I'm curious, how many of you had to clear your plate to handle snow yesterday or today? How did you take care of what you weren't able to accomplish in other parts of your life?

Today I had a new appreciation for the people in Washington DC and that area who were dealt two big snow storms in less than a week and a definite yearning for those in sunny warm places. Hawaii here I come!!

Coping with a Job you Hate

2010-02-02T15:50:00.003-05:00

Read my recent post at MyPath, powered by Manpower:
Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Coping with a Job you Hate

Are YOU a Workaholic?

2010-01-27T11:07:00.014-05:00

Read the full article:
Are You a Workaholic? 7 Signs that Point to Yes, and 7 steps Toward your Recovery

Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention

2010-01-12T21:15:00.006-05:00

Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can't put down your BlackBerry??

I’m learning to put down the BlackBerry and pay attention - Busy Mama - The Olympian - Olympia, Washington

Work (DIS)Satisfaction in the US

2010-01-07T20:56:00.006-05:00

Did you read or hear about the new statistics on Work (DIS)Satisfaction in the US released this week? Check it out!

I am a colleague of Laura Berman Fortgang and authorized program facilitator for her Now What? program. Today I received Laura's latest newsletter and asked if I could share this information about growing job dissatisfaction in America.

Anyone who lived through the depression might have a good belly laugh at these statistics because earlier generations did not always have the luxury of being happy in their jobs--they did what they had to do because they had to. Happiness was not part of the equation.

HOWEVER, for the past few decades, job satisfaction has mattered but never more than during the 90's when the economy was good and people had choices as to where to work and how much to get paid. In the 90's you had to keep employees happy to keep them!

NOW, and in the last 9 years since 9/11, we have seen a progressive dip in satisfaction.

People are making more and more concessions to stay employed knowing the economy is not good and the job market is tough. More of their wages are going to pay for their health insurance and other benefits. They are seeing flat or no pay raises. Furthermore, something that the news reports did not account for was how many people are working harder and carrying more responsibility as more and more of their co-workers were being laid off.

At the core, however, as someone who works with people looking for the next horizon in their career, I find that there are other core reasons why work is not working.

In the recent movie, "Up In the Air", George Clooney's character, an HR rep who fires folks, said it so well when he said to someone who was losing his job: "How much did they first pay you to give up on your dream?"

In America, we are known for people having the freedom to pursue their dreams and think big, but often, people give up on their dream. Granted, sometimes it's for very practical reasons but our culture doesn't really support people's dreams in most workplaces. The bottom line rules, not the growth or satisfaction of the employee. We tell our kids and students to 'follow their dreams' and then, when they do, we ask them: "Well, how are you going to make a living at that?"

People also don't take responsibility for their own growth.Work satisfaction doesn't come from what you do but WHO you get to be when you are doing your job. IF you don't like who you get to be at your job, it is your responsibility to find ways to change that EVEN if your actual job dscription does not change.

People start coasting. Their life works well enough and they don't want to 'mess with what's working'. But is it really working? Dissatisfaction can set in so easily when we allow ourself to go unchallenged.

People allow their work drudgery to follow them home. It is possible to improve your life even if you can't improve your work. Instead of letting our work drudgery follow us home, we can invest in our private life and create a happiness that can make work palatable. Invest in creating family memories, indulge in a hobby, 'date' your spouse or partner, take classes, enrich your life!

People can find other opportunities, even in a tough economy. HEY! Then the obvious---gain the courage to look for other work! Invest in your worth as an employee with training or another degree or try your own biz if you can stomach it and bank roll it.

No one promised us we'd be happy at work, but you deserve to be. In other words, it's exactly what to aim for and yet no one is going to hand it to you. CREATE IT!

Reprinted with permission from Laura Berman Fortgang. Originally published in The Now What?® Newsletter,Volume Three Issue Bonus #1, January 7, 2010

No Time to Read This? Read This

2010-01-04T21:02:00.002-05:00

Many of us use one system or another, or a hybrid-type system to manage the multiple tasks on our over-flowing plate. In this post written by Sue Shellenbarger for the Wall Street Journal Online on December 08, 2009, she analyzes three of the widely known time management systems and shares her personal experience from a brief trial using each method. In no particular order, Ms. Shellenbarger reports on David Allen's Getting Things Done; Francesco Cirillo's The Pomodoro Technique; and, FranklinCovey's Focus program. Although I've been helping people manage their productivity, focus and performance for years and have heard of two of the three she analyzed, I admit that I haven't studied any of the systems nor had any first-hand experience with any of them. The technique I use and help others incorporate into their SuperBusy lives is intuitive from my life experiences and that of the many clients I've had the privilege to coach over the years. So, as I read the descriptions and analysis I am honored to know that The Priority Pro utilizes many of the concepts and strategies that I didn't even know these experts have designed. What validation!! As I continue to hone my methods, maybe someday there will be a widely known method with my name attached but until then, I continue to be available to help the SuperBusy and to encourage people to use what works for them!

No Time to Read This? Read This

Managing Change and Uncertainty

2009-12-31T14:53:00.003-05:00

Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.

Uncertainty bring stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.

We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.

The second type of response is to accept it the situation, and to get some perspective on it. Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.

The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.

The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.

The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.

It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today?

(This was excerpted with permission from the E Factor Newsletter January 2009 - "Handling what life throws your way" © 2009 iPEC Coaching)

Are you an Energetic Leader? Leadership is not just a talent you’re born with or not. Leadership is something that can be learned, enhanced and energized. Most of what keeps us from being truly gifted leaders are our own past experiences, beliefs and behaviors that hold you back… but that doesn’t have to be!

The Energy Leadership Index (ELI) is an extremely unique assessment that effectively measures your energetic impact on yourself and the world around you. The Energy Leadership Index is about helping you to become a more engaging leader. Interested? Contact natalie@theprioritypro.com for more information.

Giving and Receiving in Spirit of the Holiday

2009-12-23T10:03:00.004-05:00

During the holiday season there’s much ado about giving and receiving. We spend a lot of money buying gifts and valuable time shopping and wrapping these gifts. What often is forgotten in this hustle and bustle is the simplicity of the holiday spirit.

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What can you give that’s not costly or time intensive?

What gifts have you received that haven’t been fully appreciated?

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We had more than a foot of snow last week and several social engagements were canceled. I saw this as a gift of time! With the commitment removed, I now had several hours to prepare at home. I wrapped, decorated and baked. Now, I feel ahead of schedule and I'm actually looking forward to the parties being re-scheduled.

When I'm out and about shopping I consciously greet everyone with a smile. I allow drivers to take my parking space. I invite people with just a few items in front of me in line. I walk around humming Christmas carols and occasionally burst into song.

No, I'm not crazy...I'm simply enjoying the simplicity of giving and receiving. Look for the joy, spread it widely and you'll undoubtedly have a more joyous and happy holiday!

Wishing you peace, joy and happiness!!

De-Stress Your Holidays

2009-12-16T10:48:00.005-05:00

The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.

Ruthlessly plan ahead. With Thanksgiving already behind us, Hanukkah in full swing and Christmas and Kwanza just ahead, there’s less time for planning, but continue planning as much as possible. Set specific days on your calendar for activities such as baking, shopping, wrapping, and visiting friends or relatives. Also, be sure to schedule some relaxation time for yourself. The holidays will feel more manageable if you are well-rested.

Determine Your True Priorities. Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.

Define Your Limits. Learn when & how to say “no” so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what’s most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you don’t have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There’s also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!

Let go of the need for Perfection. For many it is tough to accept your own limitations. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it. Cut yourself some slack!

Pace Yourself. Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!

Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings. Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk or resting in the palm of your hand. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD's and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you don’t know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.

Help Others/Volunteer. This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of "community" by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.

Practice Patience & Good Deeds. Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.

Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud). Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: 'Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don't expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!

Exercise!! Yes, that’s right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It's amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!

Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine. Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.

What you put into it is what you get out of it!

2009-12-15T15:05:00.005-05:00

Read an inspirational message about my daughter's cheer squad and how they came from way behind to win the National Championships. Look for the lessons of what you can apply in your own life to be the BEST!

Click here to read more: Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Put in What Matters!

I wasn't going to go to this competition because I was already booked to speak on both Wednesday and Thursday last week when they attended. However, when we thought on the previous Sunday that my daughter broke her fingers at a friend's house and I had the anxiety ridden week of Doctor's visits, Radiologist and the Pediatric Orthopedist to find that she had injured them very badly but they weren't fractured, I began re-thinking my original decision. The doctor would release her to allow her to perform but practice had to be minimized and her fingers needed to remain taped until the competition.

On top of that, the arrangements I made for her to travel with one of the coaches we've known for years had to be altered because the coach was traveling earlier and staying later. She was also bringing her entire family and would not be able to have her in their room. My husband encouraged me to go but I felt I couldn't because I had to honor my commitments to my clients.

I contacted my clients to check their flexibility with the date and was disappointed to learn that there was no flexibility. So, I had to make a quick decision. I had to look inside and ask myself some very important questions. In the end, I chose to go and to honor my commitment to my daughter as one of my key priorities. I quickly booked a flight and ground transportation and arranged to spend the one night I'd be there in one of the rooms booked for the team. I arranged for an alternate presenter from CIGNA to cover my presentation scheduled for one of their clients. Unfortunately, I couldn't go for the week though because I had to be back Thursday night to present one of my programs I had contracted to deliver. I traveled from NJ to FL for a quick overnight Tuesday-Wednesday. Being there gave me the opportunity of a lifetime to see my daughter and her team become National champions for the first time in the 44 years of the team's history. What an experience!! I am so glad I went!!

Focusing on what matters most may not always be easy but it's important to living a quality life with little or no regrets! If you want help creating the life you are meant to live, defining your key priorities, or achieving your goals, let me know - email natalie@theprioritypro.com.

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Put Gratitude on Your Plate

2009-11-25T14:39:00.003-05:00

Gratitude helps you focus on the positives in your life. Read this blog I recently posted at My Path to learn more about the power of gratitude and how to bring more of it into your life.

Un-Turbo Charge from Your Super Busy Life

2009-11-08T19:09:00.001-05:00

August is the number one month for vacations, but I haven't vacationed in August because I prefer to avoid crowds! This year our kids had the first week of November off from school and we took advantage of it. We spent a week at the beautiful islands of Turks and Caicos at the Beaches Family Resort. We had a 'real' vacation and as a result we came back relaxed and rejuvenated.

In this day in age, it’s nearly impossible to fully escape. I’d say that over 70% of your day is spent with your phone or computer. Whether or not your are using it, its there. You are thinking about it. Thinking about who might call you or text message you. And because you are thinking about it, you happen to break it out and read the news, send someone a message because your bored or worried about something, check Facebook, or surf the Net.

If you are planning a vacation, do yourself a favor and leave the work at home. You need to separate yourself from work if you are going to benefit from relaxing. Spending a week away from the office without my cell phone or laptop has truly given me the break I needed. Beings my husband couldn't totally unplug, he brought along his laptop and checked in briefly just a couple of times a day. Having the laptop nearby gave me the opportunity to keep clearing out the junk in my inbox so that I could concentrate on the important items left in my email once I returned.

I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband although my kids ditched us to hang out with some new friends they met at the resort.
Everyone needs a little R&R from time-to-time. Whether you plan just a few hours away or a couple of days, weeks or more, taking a break will help you re-focus while reconnecting with yourself and your loved ones.

Vacations are also good for a number of other reasons, too:

•Encourage Creativity: A good vacation can help you to reconnect with yourself and promote your creativity.

•Help Prevent Burnout: Workers who take time to relax away from the office are less prone to experience burnout, making you more productive than your overworked, under-rested counterparts. Vacations increase your quality of work and life.

•Can Help keep you Healthy: A relaxing vacation decreases stress and increases your health and well-being.

•Can Strengthen Relationships: Spending time enjoying life with loved ones can keep relationships strong, helping you enjoy the good times more and helping you through the stress of the hard times. Likewise, spending time vacationing apart may also help strengthen relationships, too!

Enjoy life and your vacation on the beach or ski slopes, visiting museums, sightseeing, or simply relaxing in your own home or somewhere else, whatever you desire. Simply free your mind from the boundaries and pressure of your work while you can, and take advantage of what this world has to offer, before you realize its too late. In the long run it may prove to be a very advantageous way to spend your time.

The bottom line is that taking a some time away from the stresses of every day daily life can give you the break you need and deserve so that we can return to your regular life refreshed and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Too Much On Her Plate Week: Prepare to Celebrate!

2009-10-19T07:00:00.007-04:00

I was very surprised to see another professional specializing in helping busy women manage everything on their plate! I came across Melissa McCreery's site quite by accident. Melissa is a psychologist and an internationally certified life coach who is passionate about providing high quality solutions to smart, busy women who are tired of struggling with food and weight.

Melissa created "Too Much on Her Plate Week" (which aptly runs the week of her birthday!) from October 19-23 so that women can learn to get stuff off their plate, both literally and figuratively.

"Too Much on Her Plate Week calls attention to the more than 150 million professional women who are either employed by a business or as an independent professional in the United States. These women are often moms too, creating limited time and a lot of plate spinning (and juggling). The pressure to get it all done contributes further to many women’s struggles with weight and food."

In celebration of Too Much on Her Plate Week, Melissa is encouraging women to:

1. Carve out some time for yourself. The biggest mistake busy women make is not taking some time for self-care. Most often, it’s not that a professional woman can’t have it. It’s that they aren’t choosing to take it. Prioritize yourself.

2. Have a plan for eating and exercise. We tend to be great planners for the most part. Apply those skills to yourself and plan your meals and time for exercise.

3. Pay attention. Emotional eating – especially stress eating, often sneaks up on women. Pay attention to those times when you want something to eat and ask why.

I plan on calling Melissa and introducing myself! I can't imagine how many women we can help together!!

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

2009-10-15T19:00:00.005-04:00

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

Shared via AddThis

Visit my BLOG - Full Plate at www.mypath.com and check out the other great career resources

Increasing Workload Issues

2009-10-07T13:22:00.011-04:00

I presented another "Too Much on my Plate" program yesterday for a corporate client.

Although most of the people in my audiences feel an intense pressure and overwhelm with the expectations placed on them at work, this audience seemed to suffer even more!

There was a field sales person who expressed his frustration with his work being driven down from higher level managers rather than customers or his own self-management of his client-base. He also has absolutely no support team at work to rely on or delegate work to.

This man sounded like he has star performer potential but yet the company with its bureaucracy and lean workforce, prohibits him from fully achieving his best.

All over, I hear similar concerns! Employees really want to do their best. They want to exceed customer expectations. They want to deliver on-time with high-quality results. Yet, even though many work an extended work week, including nights, weekends and vacation, there isn't enough time to accomplish everything that's expected. There's never any down time...any critical thinking time...any time for innovation...problem-solving...or even self-care.

Don't companies realize the potential cost to them? When the economy recovers, employees will seek out other more reasonable options. Companies are already faced with increasing health-care costs, lower quality products and services, poor relationships and teamwork, and more!

It's time to start respecting employees and for employees to start respecting themselves.

Effectively Saying "NO"

2009-10-02T13:09:00.010-04:00

In all the years I've been operating my own business (since 1997) one thing that's been a consistent challenge for my coaching clients and audiences is saying no. I recently presented an updated program on Boundary-Setting and, of course, once again we tackled the issues around saying no. As a result, I've revised an article I was working on so that I can share it with audience members. Here I share part of it with you. If you'd like the complete article, please email me at natalie@theprioritypro.com and ask for the "Saying No" article.

Saying "no" enables you to say "yes" to what matters most in your life.

“No” is one the most powerful two-letter words in the English language! However, saying “no” doesn’t come naturally for most people. We are conditioned to say “yes”, be agreeable and easy to work with.

If you’re one of those people who normally says “yes” when asked to do something or take responsibility for a new work project, sit on another school or church committee, become scout leader, be the baseball coach, or bake cookies for the local fundraiser or anything that will likely require more time than you realistically have available, than you need to first understand why you are prone to say yes so quickly and then learn more effective ways to say no.

We typically say yes because we:
...are afraid to say no;
...want to be liked;
...need to feel accepted;
...desire to please others;
...don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings;
...feel guilty when we say no;
...believe we can “do it all”.

If any of the reasons above describe you, saying no will undoubtedly make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate. There may be other reasons in addition to those listed, so be sure to recognize what prompts you to say yes, or avoid saying no. When you begin feeling totally overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful, and taken advantage of your attitude and productivity will likely suffer. If your life is overrun with responsibilities, jobs and commitments there’s little time left for your own tasks, fun and relaxation. One way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying no to new commitments.

If you want more than ten super techniques to help you say no, remember to email me at natalie@theprioritypro.com!

Saying no helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important. Even though it may be difficult, at some point you need to stand your own ground and look out for yourself, because no one else is going to look out for you if you don't! Regardless of why you choose to say no, the keys to declining requests include:
+ maintain eye contact;
+ be firm, honest direct and convincing;
+ keep your explanation simple and succinct;
+ use a sympathetic but firm tone;
+ repeat your statement, change the subject or walk away, if necessary;
+ and, avoid making excuses (especially lengthy ones!).

Women's Health & Fitness

2009-09-30T09:44:00.010-04:00

Today is national Women’s Health & Fitness Day! It's the largest annual health promotion event for women of all ages. This unique national program — with participation by local organizations throughout the U.S. — focuses attention on the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women.

More than 1,000 groups across the country will host women’s health and fitness events at senior centers, hospitals, health clubs, park and recreation districts, local health and service organizations, schools, retirement communities, houses of worship, and other community locations today and also on the last Wednesday of every September to come. An estimated 40,000 to 50,000 women are expected to participate in these local activities.

Whether or not there's a local event, do something for your health and fitness today! If life is too busy, click over to my website for a free article Top 10 Ways to Fit Fitness into Your 'Too'-Busy Schedule.

Any activity, including walking, exercising, a health screening,
or even attending a health information workshop counts today! The goal of this special day is to encourage women to take control of their health: to learn the facts they need to make smart health choices, and to make time for regular physical activity. Don't hesitate...do something now!

Energize!!

2009-09-23T10:13:00.004-04:00

Today is ENERGIZE day! What a great day!!

I heard about energize day on the CBS morning news. It is acknowledged on the first day of fall. On this day you are encouraged to do something for your inner self.

Some examples: a bubble bath, reading, meditating, journaling, praying

I'd like to broaden this to what you can also to for your outer self, as well.

What can you do today to eNeRGize yourself???

Some examples shared at a presentation I gave yesterday for the PSG Career Network in Somerville, NJ include: running, cooking, strength training, helping others, hobbies, volunteering, animal welfare, music, cooking, dancing, painting, hiking, etc.

Visit my website: http://www.nrgcoaching.com/resources/articles.html and view the article I wrote some time ago about the Top 10 Positive Sources of Energy. This will give you some ideas of where to get started.

Send for your free report: The Top 10 Ways to Nourish Yourself by sending a blank email to natalie@theprioritypro.com with Nourish Yourself report in the subject line.

Set Better Boundaries

2009-09-18T12:25:00.005-04:00

At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.

Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it's much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.

Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.

Reduce Mental Draining Stress

2009-09-11T14:05:00.001-04:00

Chances are that if you are reading this Blog, you have too much on your plate. Your 'to-do' list is likely several pages long and your plate is over-flowing with activities and responsibilities, many that you didn't even put there yourself. Often, you may feel like your mind is going to explode because you have so many things stored in it that you must remember.

When I meet with clients who are feeling this way, they tell me that they feel like they can't get anything done even though they're trying their best. They express feelings of inadequacy, overwhelm, stress and frustration. They feel scattered!

Although these clients usually have a to-do list, they also keep a running list of all the things they have to do in their minds. This is the primary cause of mental stress! My clients expend a lot of energy worrying about these things, even though 87% of what we worry about either never happens or is totally out of our control anyway!

Studies indicate that when we pay attention to a piece of information, it enters our short-term memory. Typically we can only hold 5-9 pieces of simple information in our short-term memory. If this information is not acted on or encoded it goes away. Therefore, to keep information available we need to get it into our working memory. Working memory is like a vehicle that transports information from short-term into long-term memory. Working memory will transport something that fits into an existing memory, much like a filing cabinet storing data.

Once you get information into your long-term memory, you’ve made progress, but then you have to get it out. Working memory files information into long-term memory. These files are not easily accessed—-we often need reminders. And it’s easier and more efficient to recognize something than to try to recall it from scratch.

The important key to reducing the stress of forgetting things or not being able to recall them is to have a system for organizing material as it comes at you and then being able to take action. Neither system will operate effectively if left in your head though. You need to get this out of your head and into easily accessible files on your computer or in a series of reminders for action in your daily management system (e.g., MS Outlook). You can reduce mental draining stress by de-cluttering your mind.

School Involvement

2009-09-08T14:05:00.005-04:00

This week's e-newsletter, "Success Tips for SuperBusy Parents" is about getting involved in your child's school. My children are now in 7th and 10th grade. I find that my opportunities for involvement have changed throughout their school years.

When my children were in elementary school, I could volunteer as class parent or for special projects or field trips (which I did). After jumping in with two feet, I pulled back from some of my initial involvement because I found it draining my energy and taking valuable time away from my family. Instead, I chose to limit my involvement to those activiites where I could have direct interaction rather than behind-the-scenes support. I got to know other parents, teachers and the Principal.

As my children got older, they wanted less of me at the school. So, I volunteered to help with publicity and fundraising (as long as it didn't pull me away from family time!). Last year, when my daughter asked me to chaperone a trip, I changed my appointments at work so that I could take advantage of this limited opportunity. It was one of the best decisions I made! Besides spending time with my daughter, I enjoyed spending time with her friends and visiting the Philadelphia Zoo. I also appreciated the opportunity to meet the other chaperones, especially a dad who is the President of a mid-level company who was there at the request of his son.

You never know what joys you'll get from your school involvement! Choose wisely and volunteer when you can. Don't be too busy to enjoy some of the best pleasures life has to offer! I'm already hoping my daughter requests me to chaperone the overnight trip at the end of 8th grade!!

Untie from Technology

2009-09-02T13:50:00.001-04:00

Those who are tied to their technology so that they can respond immediately to anyone reaching out to them need to better understand what this behavior is costing them...

Are you someone who almost always immediately replies to every phone call, text message or email so that you can demonstrate just how committed you are to your work and family? Do you often provide an immediate response for work-related items while getting around to family, friends and personal matters when you have the chance? Or, do you respond immediately to your family while putting off work-related contacts?

Having the habit of responding immediately, whether for everyone, or for just work or personal matters is unhealthy. Many are fooled to believe that when they respond immediately to work-related matters they are demonstrating their commitment to their job. However, are they? And, does this level of availability really measure true commitment?

Commitment is not synonymous with being constantly available! Operating as if it is contributes to higher stress levels and lower life satisfaction levels. Subscribe to our free e-newsletter by sending a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogoups.com to learn more about this and gain some valuable tips.

The advances in modern technology have created a common distorted view of expectations. Commitment to your job in too many cases has become equated with being constantly available. However, just because you can be constantly accessible and responsive doesn’t necessarily mean you should be available 24/7.

How can I carve out some "me" time?

2009-08-27T18:50:00.000-04:00

I went back through some expert contributions I've made at some other sites and found this still relevant question from a mom who is challenged carving out some time for herself. Every SuperBusy Parent needs to understand the importance of "me" time and of sharing the responsibilities at home so that both partners have some valuable time for themselves. Feel free to add your comments at www.momtourage.com.

How can I carve out some me-time?

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Also, read our latest e-newsletter for tips about getting solo time.

Leadership and Communication blunders

2009-08-25T11:48:00.005-04:00

Here's a great post from my colleague, Thomas Lee about worker engagement. He redefines
the engagement of a workforce as a culture with a high and ever-rising tide of focus, curiosity, passion and courage. Imagine the impact that it could have on productivity and achievement of goals!!

span style="color: lightsalmon;"Minding Gaps/span

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Improve your Sex Life!

2009-08-18T12:15:00.000-04:00

With just about everyone having too much on their plate these days, we all have Obsessive Distraction Disorder (O.D.D.). Distractions pull us away from what we say is important to us.

As I was getting dressed on Saturday morning, I caught a short segment on the CBS Early Morning show featuring Dr. Jenn Berman, a well-known Psychotherapist. The piece was about putting sex back in your marriage (something many are too distracted to do!)

Dr. Jenn Berman shared 5 keys to "Getting Heat Back Between Those Sheets". These tips closely align with the need to Assess what's on your plate; Integrate with what matters most; and Maintain the Alignment going forward. One of the key problems is that we are exhausted and over-stressed because we over-schedule our lives. This effects our ability and desire to be intimate in the bedroom. To better balance, say "No" more often so that you have more time, energy and interest to say "Yes" to your relationship. Ultimately everytime you say "yes" to something you are indeed saying "no" to something else. Be aware of this so that you can pace yourself and avoid tapping out your energy before you get to your partner.

She also mentioned the importance of communicating without placing blame. Personally, I've found that something I learned when watching my wedding video 19 years ago and listening to a toast by our Uncle Steve..."Your marriage needs two important things to thrive and they can be summed up with the initials P U. You need patience and understanding." I've lived by this and also treat my husband and our relationship with the utmost respect that it deserves.

For a marriage to succeed in these times when everyone seems to have too much on their plate, it takes conscious effort! Other tips from Dr. Jenn Berman may be viewed at the video online at: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/15/earlyshow/saturday/main5244010.shtml?tag=cbsnewsSectionsArea.9 .

Watch CBS Videos Online

Be a Super Hero!

2009-08-16T11:59:00.005-04:00

I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I've got to admit, I really enjoyed it!

My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he'd never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn't wait to get back into it. He's determined and tenacious!

So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it's easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).

The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn't get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn't very crowded at the track.

I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son's eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He's already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I'm certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)

I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son's eyes.

In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter's eyes? If so, what are you waiting for...push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero..."It is definitely worth it!!"

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

2009-08-10T07:30:00.000-04:00

Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here's the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

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NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women

2009-08-09T22:21:00.003-04:00

At "The Glass Hammer", an online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and business I came across this article about the Top Ten Companies for Executive Women.

The Glass Hammer explores issues that matter to executive women and provides an opportunity to share experiences and network.

Here's the article:
NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women

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Too much on Your Plate?

2009-08-05T10:31:00.004-04:00

I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, "There's too much on my Plate". The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.

What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people's lives.

Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.

This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!

Minding the Gaps

2009-08-05T08:52:00.002-04:00

Thomas Lee is an authority on leadership and communication for organizational change and engagement in the workplace. He is a member of my Mastermind group and a highly sought out expert in the field of leadership development. Check out his post about the importance of focusing on the strategic imperatives of the business! While there, become a subscriber and automatically receive his regular posts to help close the gap between your potential and the reality of your leadership.

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Minding the Gaps

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Procrastination Busters

2009-06-18T10:06:00.003-04:00

Prune your to-do list of the non-essential items you know you'll never do.
For that must-do task you've been putting off, just do it - ideally, the first thing in the morning. This frees your mental energy - often, not-doing something drains you more than doing it.

Identify a part of the disliked task that's fairly pleasant - such as calling a colleague for information - and do that first, to get your feet wet. Or make a list of the various steps involved.

Schedule hunks of time to tackle work that requires concentration. Actually make an appointment with yourself. Let voice mail pick up your calls. You'll make a lot of headway in a short time.

If the task is really objectionable, promise yourself you'll tackle it just for 10 minutes, then if it's killing you, you can stop. You may find it's not so bad and can easily keep going until finished..

If you want to avoid being distracted by email or the internet, put your computer behind you. You'll have to swivel around in your chair to check your email for the umpteenth time, or to Google something you're only mildly curious about. Going to the computer will now be a conscious decision.

Avoid the temptation to shift from one half-finished task to another. This task-hopping is a form of stealth procrastination that many of us do without knowing it.

For digitally managing tasks with sub-tasks, watch for our upcoming article "Use Outlook to Keep Track of Multi-Part Tasks" in the next issue of this eLetter.

Some of the best procrastination advice is from Alan Lakein - pre-tech era, but still excellent.

Reprinted with permission from Jan Jasper. (c) Jan Jasper 2009. www.janjasper.com. Jan Jasper is author of Take Back Your Time: How to Regain Control of Work, Information, and Technology, published by St. Martin's Press.

It's not JUST ABOUT Work-Life Balance

2009-06-09T13:54:00.006-04:00

I have studied work-life balance for well over a decade and conclude that the key reason why there’s still a gap for employers, business owners, and employees despite millions being spent in programs is because these opportunities are mostly all externally-focused. Thus, work-life balance as we’ve known for years has been primarily focused on programs, services, benefits, and the like while neglecting that true balance is internally-driven. The symptoms often associated with unbalance include overwhelm, burnout, stress and other mental, physiological and emotional issues. Yet the programs, although helpful, don’t fully address the problem.

Balance is derived from a sense of harmony, peace and alignment. One who works 90 hours a week could actually be more balanced than someone who doesn’t even work at all. Balance is about knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and feeling that sense of control over your life. When you’ve usurped power of your life to someone or something, it’s that powerlessness that causes feeling of imbalance.

Some of the more popular programs including childcare, elder care, concierge services, health and wellness benefits, flextime, telecommuting, and job share help ease the burden of working long hours while managing a life outside work. They also allow for working longer hours. Yet true work-life balance is about being aligned, making the right choices for you.

My studies have revealed that it’s not just about work-life balance, time management, stress management, or increasing productivity but all these things combined to help each individual overcome what I call Obsessive Distraction Disorder (or O.D.D. for short!). Distractions increase when you’re not aligned with what’s most important to you! By targeting what matters most, decisions are based on top priorities---what’s most important to you!

The typical work-life program offerings help create more time and sanity. However, time spent unwisely is still time lost; time that can never be recaptured! Unlike other resources, time is not a renewable resource. Therefore, it’s highly important to recognize what’s most important in all aspects of your life and realign around those things. Be crystal clear about your values, integrity, needs, purpose and priorities.

Remember the old adage…it’s not about working harder, but working smarter. In this case, think more broadly, work is a part of your life that serves a specific purpose, so LIVE SMARTER, not harder! Make wise choices aligned with what matters most to you!

Make Conscientious Decisions

2009-05-27T10:36:00.004-04:00

We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.

After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.

When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.

I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…

1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.

2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.

3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?

4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.

5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.

6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!

There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.

The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.

My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!

Endure Success despite Multiple Priorities

2009-05-21T11:55:00.004-04:00

Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it's important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:

* avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
* have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present
* thrive on challenges by seizing opportunities as they present themselves

When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values or moral compass and what you are doing. Your needs, integrity, goals, beliefs, and strengths comprise who you are. When you are congruent, you’re able to create higher levels of success; when who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm. Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.

I referred back to a December 2006 issue of Entrepreneur magazine to explore this issue further and found several principles that helped one company beat the odds and endure success.

These are my notes on the Guiding Principles:

1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
When you feel stuck and things aren’t working anymore, rethink, analyze, and discover so that you can shift directions before you dig too deep!

2. Take action--you can't afford to wait for all the facts.Avoid waiting for all the answers before proceeding. Make your best guess decision and go forth to seize opportunities as they present themselves!

3. Get comfortable with ambiguity.
The only thing truly certain in today’s economy is that things will continue to change.

4. Find your brilliance and leverage it relentlessly.
Your strengths uniquely set you apart; know your core strengths and use them to differentiate yourself in the marketplace and stand out!

5. Being all things to all people is the golden rule for failure.
Be a leader by doing what you do best within your niche or target market. Avoid straying from your core of what you do best.

6. Cut the fat. Leave the muscle. Get lean!
Eliminate anything that doesn’t add tremendous value to your customer and your bottom-line. Streamline and reconfigure to optimize your resources.

7. Embrace globalization.Outsource where it makes sense by reinforcing your business strategy.

8. Create a culture of trust.
Timely honest communication helps create trust.

9. Foster a sense of ownership.Engage your team by empowering them and allowing them to have a bit of an entrepreneurial mindset. Have a clear and consistent vision with a message conveying your vision, the supporting initiatives vital action steps.

10. Hire and retain the very best people.An entrepreneur I interviewed said “Hire slow, fire fast” to communicate the need to be selective when hiring your employees to insure you employ smart passionate people who fit your culture.

11. Reward people for a job well done.
In addition to financial rewards, when appropriate, provide timely positive feedback that recognizes contributions.

12. Innovate, innovate, innovate! Look outside the paradigm for new ideas.
Instill creativity and reward thinking outside the box.

13. Choose your customers (or those who influence your customers).
Identify your target market. Also align your vendors and suppliers as the most appropriate to help you serve your customer base.

14. Give customers what they really want.Understand your customer’s needs by frequently doing market research to best understand what they want. Customers buy based on the perceived benefit they will receive from your product/service.

15. Practice perpetual optimism.Manage your moods by instilling a positive sense of hope through your energy as the leader. Being ambiguous and fearful evokes the same in your employees.

16. Never, ever be a victim.Victims have a low level of energy often portrayed with guilt, self-doubt, worry, fear, embarrassment, hopelessness, anxiety, apathy, and lethargy. If you or your employees are stuck in this low level of energy, shift the perspective quickly and begin increasing self-worth. (I’ll say more about this in a future BLOG post because energy leadership is a vital ingredient to your success!)

Receive Love

2009-05-12T09:57:00.006-04:00

Mothers Day is a day for recognizing and appreciating our moms. This year, I feel fortunate that one of my colleagues, Renee Trudeau, provided me with her book, "The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal" as a gift I could forward to the subscribers to my e-newsletter. I received a couple notes from readers expressing their gratitude.

The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal is written as a reminder to the importance of self-care. My testimonial, "...it is a powerful and life-shifting book for every mom who continuously falls to the bottom of her 'to-do' list and forgets about the things that make her happy and feel her best. This practical and life-affirming resource empowers moms to reflect, renew and rejuvenate." Although the offer for the free download has expired, the book is still available through major bookstores and online.

This past weekend, I did celebrate Mother's day and surrounded myself with a nurturing and loving environment. After taking my mom out to lunch on Saturday afternoon with my two children, I brought my daughter and two friends to her dance competition and enjoyed watching the performances and skillful dancers. I also enjoyed connecting with other moms! Unfortunately, it was a late night! We got home after midnight.

After a restless night sleep due to over-exhaustion, I awoke to the sounds of my son hobbling through the kitchen on his crutches as he prepared breakfast for me. As I listened, a smile filled my heart! My son set his alarm clock so that he could awaken before me to prepare my favorite breakfast. How wonderful!! It tasted so good!

My daughter and her friend awakened late in the morning and washed my car after they helped themselves to breakfast. Again, a wonderful moment to accept love and be ever so grateful! I relaxed all day,and even took a nap. What a superb way of nurturing myself while my children expressed their love to me.

My husband made me my favorite dinner and cleaned up the entire mess afterwards.

For my Mother's Day, I slowed down, relaxed, and gave myself permission to absorb the love around me. Hope you did something special as well!

Overcoming Perfectionism Paralysis

2009-05-07T10:27:00.002-04:00

Paula Eder, PhD, The Time Finder Expert has a free ezine with her unique approach to finding time. In the 4/23 issue she explored tips for overcoming the insidious paralysis of perfectionism. She introduces action-oriented suggestions throughout her ezine which you can apply right away.

1. Perfectionism is a learned attribute that you can unlearn. You were not born a perfectionist. You learned perfectionistic behavior from others, and you can unlearn it now. Next time you hear your perfectionist voice, identify the original source, if you can. Was it from your family constellation or from how you saw people outside your family react to you? Or was it based on someone you modeled yourself after? Envision these perfectionist messages in a heavy sack of expectations you received, which you can now set down and leave behind.

2. When perfectionism leads to procrastination, replace it with a "better than perfect" goal. Inevitably, perfectionism will prevent you from attempting something, because you fear not doing it well enough. Remember, it is your own standards that are unrealistically lofty. If you feel stuck in a project, try replacing skyhigh expectations with a productive stretch, and then identify your next action step.

3. Release the shackles of perfectionism by naming the fear that serves as the lock. Tyrannical perfectionism both springs from and generates destructive fears. Identify the specific concerns that constrict you. Do you fear failure, or are you apprehensive about what will happen if you do succeed? The level of control that perfectionism promises is illusory. See if you can identify the illusions and replace them with realistic alternatives.

4. You needn't victimize yourself with your own success. Once you have succeeded at a task, you may feel you have to meet ever-higher standards. This is sometimes referred to as "raising the bar syndrome". Each effort leads only to demands for greater effort, until eventually you encounter the impossible challenge and inevitable defeat. Affirm that you remain fully in charge of your time and your goals, even as you move to a higher level of effectiveness.

5. Make friends with your mistakes. Perfectionists often judge mistakes as bad. In reality, mistakes present a valuable avenue for evolution. If you don't risk enough to make these mistakes, how do you ever learn? Allow yourself the freedom to engage wholeheartedly,and enjoy the thrill of discovery!

Finally, recognize that your perfectionism is part of a deeply personal story that you are now free to rewrite. It derives ALL of its power from the meaning that you ascribe it. The more effectively you strip the symbolic importance from "perfection",the less power perfectionism will have over you. To expose your perfectionism's false promises, complete these sentences.

1. Doing something perfectly means I am _______________________.
2. When I don't do something perfectly, then __________________.
3. The burden of perfectionism is _____________________________.

Exercise for overcoming perfectionism:

1. List 2 things you can do right now to reduce yourperfectionism. _____________________________ ____________________________

2. Describe how your life will change if you reduce your perfectionism. What will be the gains?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________

(c) Copyright 2006-2009 Paula Eder, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

"Material used with permission from Paula Eder, Ph.D., who develops customized, practical guides to help individuals and organizations find time to achieve personal, professional,and academic goals, and achieve career success. Register for her free, Award-Winning E-Zine at http://www.findingtime.net

Anticipate time needed

2009-05-05T22:01:00.006-04:00

Too often we over-stress ourselves because we don't properly anticipate how long it will take to complete a project or task. In most cases, we under-estimate the time involved. To plan your day more effectively and to reduce your stress in the process, schedule adequate time during all three of the stages of a project, including preparation, productivity and closure.

To better allocate your time, keep a time log for a couple of weeks and track how long different activities take to accomplish. In order to get better at planning, you must first be aware of how your time is being spent. Be realistic about how much time your activities take and schedule your time accordingly. Non-realistic scheduling increases stress because there is not ample time to complete the full task as planned. Building in buffers for preparing and putting things away will allow the margin to decrease stress and increase productivity.

Young Mother of the Year

2009-05-01T21:49:00.000-04:00

After reading the article and hearing the news about the Hardest working moms, I was a bit disappointed that the measurement was mostly based on earnings. So, when I read news of the Young Mother of the Year Award, I was happy to see that more real mothers are also getting recognized. These moms are 18 or younger...still children themselves yet they're raising children, often with limited resources and support. Perhaps, they are the true heroes?

I don't personally encourage young motherhood. It takes a lot of maturity and responsibility to care for oneself, let alone another human being that relies so heavily on you!

However, I do want to acknowledge American Mothers Incorporated for recognizing the challenges faced by mothers trying to balance a career and children. Each year they select a representative from each state as the Young Mother-of-the-Year. This award honors dedicated, outstanding mothers who are still raising their children that are 18 years old or younger.

This year North Dakota's Young Mother of the Year is KX News weekend anchor Jen Dame.

Hardest Working Mom

2009-04-30T21:38:00.000-04:00

Did you hear the news??

....MADONNA has been named the hardest working mother in showbusiness!!!

She topped a new poll in Forbes Magazine ahead of REESE WITHERSPOON and GWYNETH PALTROW. With take-home of $110 million (£75 million) in 2008, she's in the forefront of high-earning women with children.

Madonna, who is the mother to adopted 3 year old toddler David Banda, 8 year old Rocco, and twelve year old Lourdes, took most of her money from her world tour as well as record sales and a string of endorsement deals. She and hubby Guy Ritchie divorced in 2008.

Also topping the hardest working mom chart (based on earnings) was divorced mother-of-two Reese Witherspoon who took home $24 million (£16.5 million) in 2008. The actress has two kids, Ava, nine, and son Deacon, five, with ex-husband Ryan Phillippe Paltrow, who also has two children, with husband Chris Martin, came in third with earnings of $20 million (£13.8 million). Mother of three Julia Roberts captured the fourth spot, while actress Sarah Jessica Parker, who has a son with husband Matthew Broderick, rounded out the top five.

If you ask me, hard working moms abound everywhere and it's certainly not only a measure of what we earn. Many hard working moms earn little or no salary for their efforts.

Balanced Entrepreneur or Workaholic?

2009-04-27T21:25:00.000-04:00

Lee Down, a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development posted his view about this topic on his blog. I don't know him personally but I found his views interesting and aligned with many of mine.

He compares a workaholic, someone who has no identity beyond their work and a True Entrepreneur, one that he observes their values, passion, and whole way of being aligned with what they do.

Check out his full post at http://www.welfarequeen.org/recreation/balance-entreprenurial-or-workaholic/

Get Everything Done

2009-04-15T12:11:00.007-04:00

I have been studying the work of David Allen. Many successful entrepreneurs, executives, and employees at every level of the organization have successfully implemented his processes for improving productivity. However, the key to effectively implementing his processes and methodology is to increase your understanding by re-reading his books and applying them to your life in a consistent manner. At the first encounter with David Allen's work, most people experience greater control, energy, creativity and focus but they let it stop there rather than going deeper. The extreme value is to conscientiously adopt the procuedures continuously in broader contexts. After implementing some of the basic techniques circle back and integrate it more fully and consistently to the rest of your life.

According to David Allen, author of “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity”, “Ready for Anything”, and “Making it All Work” there are five discrete stages that he recommends we undergo as we handle our work.

In the first stage, you are collecting things that demand your attention. In this stage it is vital to keep the incoming collection in control by having as few collection means as possible. You collection sources should be emptied on a regular basis! In order to capture everything that might signify something you have to do, you’ll need to gather together everything you feel incomplete with in your life, including, personal or professional, big or little, urgent or minor importance items, and anything that you feel ought to be different than it currently is. It is important to capture everything so that nothing is left in your head. Collection tools could include a physical in-basket, paper-based note-taking devices, electronic note-taking devices, voice-recording devices, and email.

The second stage is processing and the third stage is organizing. These two stages together form the focal point of the decision-tree model. There are a number of key questions to ask yourself about incoming stuff before you can collect it and process it. Firstly, ask what is it? Then define whether or not it is actionable. If no action is required then it is either trash and no longer needed (delete or discard); something that might need to be done later; or, potentially useful reference information. Actionable items need to be linked directly to a project or outcome that you’ve committed to. Then the next activity that needs to be done in order to move the current reality toward completion needs to be defined. This action can be done immediately, delegated, or deferred.

All of the organizational categories need to be physically contained in some form. The total system for organizing just about everything includes non-actionable item categories for trash, incubation tools, and reference storage. When no action is required you can discard it, put it in a tickler file for later reassessment, or file it so you can easily find the material when you need to refer to it in the future. Actionable items are categorized into a list of projects, storage or files for project plans and materials, a calendar, a list of reminders of next actions, and a list of reminders of things you’re waiting for.

The fourth stage involves reviewing the whole picture on a regular basis. A weekly review is a good time to gather and process all your stuff, review your system, update your lists, and get clean, clear, current, and complete. And, the final stage of this system is to decide what you’re going to do at any given point in time.

Defraying Stress

2009-04-01T09:19:00.002-04:00

The Top Ten Ways Working Parents Can Defray Stress

By Natalie Gahrmann, The Priority Pro

Between work demands, caring for your children, and seeing to everyday matters and responsibilities there is little time left to take care of yourself. So, many working parents put off time for their own needs and desires. However, you are a key influence on your child's development, so the amount of stress you are experiencing in your work, family and personal life has a direct impact on them. Here's some tips to help defray the stress and help you consciously take better care of yourself.

1. Breathe deeply

Bring in the air through your nose, deep down into your belly and out through your mouth in a slow relaxed fashion at least two-three times to help re-focus, re-center and relax.

2. Take in Relaxing Smells

Aromatherapy oils, herbal teas or scented candles are all relaxing to the olfactory system.

3. DAYDREAM, MEDITATE AND CONNECT WITH NATURE

Visit places and experience them newly. Or, give your mind a mental break by simply imagining you are somewhere else and creating a visual image and experience in your mind of being there. Either way, fully connect with your surroundings by noticing sounds, smells and textures. Relax your spirit and body using soothing music and warm lights.

4. Avoid Overextending Yourself

Stop saying "yes" too often to requests of your time, money, energy or other resources. Say "no" to things and people as a way of honoring you. Allow yourself a chance to think about the request before acepting the invitation. Bow out later if the commitment is contributing too greatly to your stress.

5. Eat Healthy Foods

Eat foods and drink beverages that nourish your body and soul.

6. Participate in a hobby or sport

Create an outlet for relaxation that you truly enjoy doing. Use your creativity to write, sculpt, knit, paint, etc. Use physical activities or daily exercise rituals to help "blow off" steam both physically and mentally.

7. lighten up

Smile, laugh and just be friendly to others. Friendliness goes far and helps you feel good about yourself. Humor lightens up tension. Notice how laughter is contagious, too. People are more naturally attracted to people who seem happy, positive, enthusiastic, and excited about life. Stop taking things so seriously all the time and lighten up a bit.

8. Enlist help from others

Learn to ask for and accept help (even when things are not done to your high standard level!) You will gain by delegating and allowing others to help, even when things don't turn out exactly as they would have if you completed the task yourself. Allow yourself to be nurtured by your friends and family.

9. Spend Quality Time with Your Children

Have fun and interact with your children. Be fully present with them. Truly listen to what they have to say and connect on a deeper level.

10. Get Romantic

Stimulate your body's release of endorphins by reading a romance novel, or better yet, curl up with your spouse/significant other or make love.

Business Coaches Help Workers Produce

2009-03-20T10:51:00.002-04:00

As a professional coach, I have had the opportunity to work with hundreds of managers to help them produce their optimal results in all parts of their life. While searching the internet I found an article written for the Miami Herald by Cindy Krishner Goodman about how business coaches are helping employees be more effective at work. I could not have said it better myself, so here is the article:

Ever sit through a meeting and have no idea what happened? With increasing distractions, most of us struggle throughout the day to stay in the present.
Now, in a budding trend, business coaches want to teach us how to have a conversation with a colleague or client without allowing our minds to drift. In The Moment Coaching challenges workers at all levels to stay focused at work or home.
Experts say it is the key to better relationships. Our inability to be in the present and really listen when a customer, co-worker, spouse or friend talks to us can cause us to miss crucial information.

Business coach Anese Cavanaugh, owner of Dare to Engage, says although we get stuff done, ''we miss out on huge opportunities to engage and connect with other humans.'' Cavanaugh's Illinois business is designed to help managers work better with their teams. She starts by telling a manager to turn his back to his computer when someone is talking to him. ``When you are in the present and pay attention to what's going on, you learn not just what's being spoken, but also the underlying emotion of a team, and that's when things open to you as leader.

Indeed, some experts say workers are discovering the greatest casualty of our mobile, high-tech age is attention. Most of us have become masters of multitasking, adept at responding to e-mail messages during meetings or while on the phone. We manage to make time for multiple distractions when we're actually trying to get work done. Yet, we feel inundated and overwhelmed.

''It's a real problem,'' says Harvey Sepler, a Miami appellate lawyer, who also teaches at University of Miami law school. ``Often, I'm talking to someone and I'm thinking about something I've got to do.''

Sepler says when he becomes distracted at the office, he's begun to do the same thing he teaches students -- get up, stretch, walk away and then come back and focus.
Workplace expert Gloria Mark discovered the average worker switches tasks every three minutes, and, once distracted, takes nearly a half-hour to resume the original task. We take our distractions home, too, spending time with our family, only to think about everything that happened at work today and what's about to happen tomorrow.

Because everyone's brain is wired a little differently, solutions vary. Miami business coach Roberto Suarez of Biz Champions says attention can be bolstered through training. He teaches office workers to use the same technique for staying in the moment as golfers -- the standing meditation. In a standing position, he has them focus on body position and silence.

Two weeks ago, Suarez held a workshop at Terrabank in Miami as part of employee appreciation week. Terrabank's human resources chief, Adriana Nino, says she had attended a previous coaching session with Suarez. ''People need to forget about the distractions and stop worrying about problems in the future,'' says Nino, who meditates twice a day. ``I'm not at work thinking whether my daughter is doing her homework. The only way to stay focused is to practice at it.''

Sue Bethanis, an executive/leadership coach, says in meetings where everyone is checking e-mail, or thinking about the next meeting, opportunities for staff engagement are lost. Her San Francisco firm, Mariposa Leadership, teaches people to make the most of the moment. ''It's relationship building,'' she says.
To calm a racing mind, she counsels workers to concentrate on breathing, and then bring the spotlight of their attention back again and again to the work at hand or the person talking to them. ``You might even need to write something down which is better than continuing to think about it.''

Sometimes, it takes eliminating distractions. The most common suggestion idea is to try to pull the plug on electronic devices. A typical office worker turns to e-mail more than 50 times a day and uses instant messaging 77 times, according to Seattle-based computer productivity consultant RescueTime.

In her new book, Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age, author Maggie Jackson writes, ``If we jump on every e-mail message or ping, we'll have trouble pursuing our long-term goals. To make inroads on the deep, messy work of life, we need to stay focused.''

Article originally written by BY CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN;
cgoodman @MiamiHerald.com.

Making Time for What Matters Most

2009-03-17T20:04:00.005-04:00

Unexpected emergencies are normally crises that can happen at any time. They arise often seemingly from out of nowhere. Once they are there, you are more or less forced to take time for something or someone that you had not planned.

Quite unconsciously, or perhaps even consciously, you decide that the emergency takes precedence over everything else at the moment, because the person or thing that emerged is more important to you than anything else on your plate at this moment.

Emergencies, such as this, can serve to help you put everything in your life back in perspective rather quickly. When a health emergency arises, either yours or someone else's, you immediately realize the importance of good health, wellness visits, and preventative care. Your perspective may shift to the importance of health, knowing that if you do not have your health, you may not have a productive or long life. Then, health becomes one of your top priorities.

When the emergency pertains to a relationship that is important to you, you recognize that the people you love and connections in your life, make your life worthwhile, so you take time out to take care of and nurture your relationships.

Making time for what matters most need not be relegated to emergencies. Imagine making time for your health, relationships and everything else that is vitally important to you, before an emergency strikes. Imagine taking excellent care of your physical body, your soul and those you love without being "forced" into it. Imagine sharing time, having real conversations, and being committed to understanding your loved ones or co-workers now - not just when emotions run high and things get a bit hairy or out of control.

Do yourself and your loved ones a huge favor and avoid an emergency by making time out of thin air today for what, and who, matters most to you. I am quite sure you will not regret this decision!

Re-Group when things are Chaotic

2009-03-15T22:08:00.003-04:00

Lately I have felt like I've had more on my plate than usual. Working on a presentation for an entrepreneurial group, editing my audio book, revising my website, re-branding my company, serving present clients, contacting potential clients, writing my e-newsletter, writing some new articles, taking training for my own professional development and getting certified in a new tool I can administer for my clients, and so much more. Whew! No wonder why I feel so busy!

Several indicators tell me when it is time to re-group. First, I began feeling overwhelmed. Second, I was losing or mis-placing things. Third, I felt this incredible sense of not accomplishing anything. And, fourth, and likely the most important, my family noticed.

My husband recognized that I was always busy going to meetings, on the phone, on the computer but not connecting with him in our usual way. My daughter told me that she thought my work was more important than she was (ouch!) and my son got into some trouble. My exercise fell halfway off the schedule. Fortunately, I was working out 7 days a week doing running or walking for 10-15 miles weekly and a strength training video 2-3 days. Cutting out some of my exercise tended to make me de-energized and I ate more unhealthy foods.

When things start feeling chaotic, they probably are. So, before they get even further out of control. Take a break! Re-group and realign with what is most important to you, to your professional goals, and to your family. Make conscious choices and postpone, defer, delegate or remove some of the activities keeping you busy. Decide if you really need to be as busy as you are because if you're busy doing the wrong things it really will not drive the results you are after.

Begin working smarter! It is not enough to get things done and check them off your list; you really need to be getting the right things done for that sense of accomplishment and improved results.

Entrepreneurial Focus

2009-03-12T21:26:00.000-04:00

One important thing I have learned that separates successful entrepreneurs from others is their ability to focus while ignoring distractions. If you read the archives in my Blog, you know that this concept is not really new to me.

Entrepreneurs have many traits that bring value to their lifestyle and work style, including the ability to thrive independently, discipline in managing personal freedom, and self-made competitiveness. They are savvy and driven. Yet, by nature, many have a hard time staying focused because they get many new ideas.

This is a never-ending struggle for many entrepreneurs---too many ideas, too little resources! What is a SuperBusy entrepreneur to do??

In an increasingly competitive environment, business growth comes from being great at just one thing at a time. Succeeding really well at one thing you know your customers need will help separate you from even the toughest competition.

Focus on your customer and potential customer and on what you choose to do better than anyone else. Use your business vision as a filter when evaluating and aligning with your core; this minimizes distractions and helps create better results. If an activity is not aligned with your big goals, even if it is a really good idea, table it and move on.

You can table your ideas by giving them a life of their own through:

1. a file or folder on your computer where the idea is stored and built.
2. an idea binder you can carry with you wherever you go and jot ideas as they occur.
3. a record on your BlackBerry.
4. a website or BLOG you create that allow others to comment on it.
5. social networking sites like Twitter, Linked In, Facebook, etc.

How Hungry are YOU?

2009-03-09T23:57:00.000-04:00

After posting about needs and hungers last week, a number of people contacted me asking for more information. The important thing to note is that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to feed your hungers; hungers are not necessarily BAD. Hungers may often masquerade as one of your highest ideals, values or desires. Some of your hungers may be very easily satisfied while others may return routinely, thus, creating a constant theme in your life.

Hungers operate at different intensities. Knowing the level a particular hunger is driving you, will be helpful in finding the most healthful ways of feeding it.

For example, if you are starving/famished you are likely deprived of a key component necessary for life. If your hunger is at this high level of intensity, chances are that you may need professional therapy to intervene because at this level there is a sense of desperation. You must have and will do anything to feed the need.

The next level of intensity, craving, exhibits a high demand and/or begging. At this level, there is still some level of danger that may benefit by professional therapy because one may do many things to get this hunger met, including (but not limited to) sacrificing your own integrity. If you do not feel at a level of choice, seek professional help!

The next three levels are less intense and may be able to be resolved with the help of a trained coach or perhaps on your own through your personal support network. At the Hungry level you must have it, if not immediately than relatively soon; the hunger is somewhat under control but on the verge of taking over your life. The Longing For level is an experience of regular and continual absence of the need because you have grown so accustomed to it not being fed. The danger here is that it is still there, in the background, and can easily intensify once allowed the presence of that need. Lastly, Having an Appetite For, is a healthier place of preference and some choice. It is the beginning of noticing that there is a deficiency. If you were to notice it at this low level and take some immediate action to take care of the feeding the need, then the other, more intense levels are short-circuited.

At the lowest level, a hunger is a mere whisper. You can usually avoid the compulsive, out of control feelings of the more intense levels just by simply recognizing the need and giving it a nugget or morsel to feed on.

Think about the emotional hungers you long for...do you have the need to feel safe, feel valuable?; to be right, to be appreciated?; to receive respect or love? If so, these are just some of the hungers I have worked on with my clients to help them find healthful ways to resolve in their life.

Are You Hungry?

2009-03-05T23:27:00.001-05:00

Often when I am working with a client 1-1, we work on identifying their needs. Sometimes because of the nature of needs being something we crave deeply, especially when they are not being met, I refer to them as (emotional) hungers.

A number of years ago when I was teaching at the Coach Certification Institute (an organization which unfortunately no longer exists!), we helped others learn about the importance of hungers and the impact they have on our lives. They were referred to as hungers because they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive; they operate with an almost primitive intensity and compel us to feed them at all costs, even if what we feed them is not the best nourishment for us. For example, a person who has an unmet need for attention, will do almost anything in order to feed that emotional hunger, similarly to when you come home after working all day but not eating a thing and reaching for whatever is handy to immediately meet that need.

Unmet hungers are dangerous because when they are not recognized and nourished appropriately, they can easily direct all of your available energy and attention towards getting the hunger fed, even if you do not realize it is happening! Hungers can totally distract you from the things you value and the life you truly want to lead. When someones actions are not aligned with what they say they want, there is a huge chance that there is an unfed or misfed hunger is operating in their life.

It is important to realize that you may need an outside observer to help you identify which hungers drive you. As a professional coach, I have a variety of tools and resources at my disposal to help my clients first identify and then work to resolve existing hungers. Once hungers are identified, the next important step is to find consistent and nourishing ways to feed them. When your hungers are well fed, you are released from their compulsion.

Stay tuned for more about needs and hungers in the weeks ahead in this Blog and in my free weekly e-newsletter. You can subscribe at http://www.nrgcoaching.com/ or by clicking here.

Keep things SIMPLE!

2009-03-02T12:13:00.001-05:00

I took a class on Entrepreneurial Leaders last Monday night. The instructor explained what a vision and mission is and asked each of us to write down ours. We each had the opportunity to share ours with the group and then she thanked us and was ready to move on. One classmate was very frustrated with the lack of feedback. She wanted to know how good her vision was. The instructor struggled to tactfully explain things in detail about designing a vision.

After listening with intense interest and observing the glazed eyes and confusing looks of many of my classmates, I asked if I could share a simple approach to clearly understanding these terms and how to design them. The classmates loved it!

I shared:

Vision: is what you see for your future. It's usually 3-5 years out (YOUR EYES)

Mission: is what you do (YOUR HANDS)

Purpose: is why you do it (YOUR HEART)

See if this helps you design these strategic planning tools for your work and personal life. I'd love to hear from you about how you design and execute yours!

If You're So Smart, Why Can't You....

2009-02-25T15:41:00.011-05:00

I booked our family vacation and connected with Steve Dasseos at the Trip Insurance Store to purchase trip cancellation insurance independently. Besides getting a great deal on insurance (more coverage than the destination offered for less money!), we talked about business, entrepreneurship, resources, and more.

Steve shared this clip with me of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the #1 New York Times Bestselling memoir “Eat, Pray, Love,” about the year she spent traveling the world alone after a difficult divorce. The book has been a worldwide success, now published in over thirty languages with over 7 million copies in print. It was named by The New York Times as one of the 100 most notable books of 2006, and chosen by Entertainment Weekly as one of the best ten nonfiction books of the year. In 2008, Elizabeth was named one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World, by Time Magazine.

Elizabeth shares a poignant inspiration that helps recognize how other's fears and your internalized fears stand in the way of your highest goal achievements. I've enjoyed helping my coaching clients and audiences live life to their fullest potential by identifying their limited beliefs, identifying their goals, and creating an action plan to take it one step at a time.

Click here to follow the link to Steve's Blog and scroll down about half way for the video. It's a little long but definitely worth listening too!

If You’re So Smart, Why Can’t You …

Create Systems to Simplify Overload

2009-02-24T14:13:00.003-05:00

If you are:

frequently doing things at the last minute;

wasting time looking for things;

forgetting how things were previously done;

ever feeling overwhelmed or disorganized.

Then, creating systems will help you increase your personal and professional success. Systems provide a foundation that helps you have a regular method or order of doing things. This alone can save an incredible about of time and energy!

An example of a system is your bill paying system. I write the due date on the outside of the envelope of each bill as it arrives and then put them in a organizer in sequential order by my kitchen phone. Twice per month, I go through these and process bill payment. To be sure I don't forget to record bills set-up on an autopay cycle, I write them in my checkbook at the beginning of each month. Others use similar systems that are automated but I've found this system works well for me! Design and follow a system that works for you for each process you have, especially those that recur monthly.

To ease the burden of losing things, have a place for everything and consistently return items to their rightful place.

To save yourself from forgetting things, write them down. Keep organized lists of the things you want to be sure to remember and easily recall. Getting things out of your mind helps to keep your mind clear. The key here is to be diligent and consistent rather than writing things on scrap papers, back of the napkin, or other quick places to jot things down. If you have a smart phone, you can leave yourself notes here. If not, carrying a small notebook where all of your reminders are placed, might also prove helpful.

The good news is that anything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a system that will save loads of time!! Begin by just writing down the areas where you can systemize. Next, pick one area to start with and then implement more as time allows. You will be amazed at how much more flow and focus you will have in your day.

Employee Stress

2009-02-12T12:48:00.005-05:00

A lot of work-related traps and hazards exist for employees today in addition to the personal stresses outside the office related to family, home, pets, health, finances, or a myriad of other possible areas. There's no wonder that many employees are highly stressed!

As a leader, it is best if you can help employees know how to make stress work better for them; to transform stress to become a motivator to boost productivity and morale rather than succumb to it and have it effect job performance in negative ways.

When I work with leaders, I help them use positive energy in their leadership. I like to use an approach outlined in Energy Leadership (by Bruce Schneider). I help leaders observe the positive side of their encounters at work and the energy emitted by them and their employees in the work environment.

I believe that a good employee can easily adjust to any given situation and adapt well to the surroundings. Good employees have the ability to establish effective mechanisms that guide them so that work does not pile up. They are able to get everything done smoothly with ease and excellent output.

When employees are ready to shift away from productivity-inhibiting stress and be a valued employee, here are 5 top tips to help develop better focus:

1. Be More Disciplined: Impose your own personal working policy and implement it. Develop a working plan and set deadlines for each task or project given to you by your business leader(s). Be sure you follow the plan and deadlines you set. Learn the right pacing that will work best for you. You are the only one who can realistically control how fast, in which order and how well each task is completed. Focus on one task at a time to avoid mind clutter.

2. Develop routines: There are always other parts of your job or other projects/tasks that you also need to work on. Develop structure or systems that will help you create patterns and routines to get your work done. Set aside time for following phone calls, email, text messages and visitors so that they do not interfere with the task-at-hand. (Try out different patterns until you see what works best for you.)

3. Establish boundaries. Included in your working policy must be the boundaries you set for your co-workers and even loved ones. If co-workers need a little of your time to help them carry out some tasks, its okay to say “no” in a very nice way if you have priority things to do. For family members, set time when they can call you unless it is a life-and-death emergency.

4. Take a break when necessary. Tune in to your body signals and get to know when you need to take a break. When your body is stiffening, your impatience is growing, your concentration in diminishing or your creativity has run out, grab some fruit, a glass of water, take a walk, or do some basic exercises while at your desk to ease the tension from your body and re-energize yourself.

5. Create conducive workspace. Be sure that your workspace is comfortable and provides ease for your work. Have the necessary supplies near your reach and keep your space clutter-free. Learn to ignore the background noises from machines and chatty co-workers that can be disturbing.

The Multitasking Temptation Revisited

2009-02-09T14:57:00.001-05:00

Multiitasking has been proven to kill your productivity. Yet, for some it's a lifestyle and others an expectation. Others see it as a strength.

People are terrible at doing more than one thing at a time, even though many of us are fooled to believe that we are actually good at it. When we multitask, two things occur:

1. We get less done.
2. The quality of what we do is lower.

There’s a recommencement cost of at least several seconds every time you get back to a task that got interrupted. Each time you switch to some other task you risk getting hit with more resumption costs. This loss time adds up and multiplies as you continue getting distracted with interruptions throughout the day.

It is almost inevitable that each individual task will be slower and of lower quality when you are using multitasking as a methodology to try to accomplish more. Likewise, it is acutally faster to do one thing at a time instead of trying to multitask.

Another problem with multitasking is that we are more inclined to make more mistakes while doing multiple tasks simultaneously, especially those that require your full attention or those that are unrelated. As a result, the quality of our work declines.

In a 2004 study at MIT, researchers found (by doing MRI scans on brains of test subjects) that it’s impossible for the brain to think about more than one thing at a time.

Multitasking is an incredible temptation. As a business owner, I struggle with it myself from time-to-time. When I am not fully engaged in what I am doing I often check email frequently and begin responding to incoming messages without completing articles I am writing or blog entries. Fortunately, when I am on the phone with a coaching client, I am not multitasking! However, often when I am participating in a teleconference call or meeting I will see (or sense) others checking their email or messages.

Get Into Focus

2009-02-05T09:50:00.001-05:00

Many people feel scattered and unfocused either at home or work, maybe even both! Usually this happens when there tends to be a lot on your mind. If you have ever gone upstairs to get something then forgot what you came up to get; went to the grocery store but did not purchase what you went there to buy; put something down and then could not find it anywhere; or, double-booked a meeting, then you know the frustration of losing focus. Loss of focus can happen when any type of distraction occurs.

To help stay more focused, have clearly defined (written) goals and align your work with your goals.

Start with a clear vision.

Write your goals in actionable statements.

Align your daily actions/behaviors specifically to your goals.

Execute based on your priorities.

Make Romance a Priority

2009-02-03T11:01:00.001-05:00

Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:

1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!

Self-Discovery Questions

2009-01-22T14:19:00.004-05:00

Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.

Empowering Self Discovery Questions:

· How do I want to reinvent myself?

· What will I do if people don't accept the new me?

· How can I help people understand the new me?

· What skills, talents and qualities do I wish to reuse?

· How can I use these skills, talents and qualities with the new me?

· Do I want to use these traits immediately or in the future?

· What past events in my life would I like to reexamine and explore?

· What can I learn and put into practice from past experiences?

· What tools can I use to renew myself?

· How would I like to see myself in a week, a month and a year from now?

· What else can I do to reinvent, renew, reexamine and transform my life so that I will enjoy it to the fullest?

Life Renewal strategies

2009-01-21T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.

1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.

2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.

3. Investigate other's successes. Explore how others have done what you'd like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.

4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.

5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don't need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.

6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don't wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren't happy with where you are today, you'll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.

Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!

A New Year

2009-01-07T12:11:00.006-05:00

Wow, time has flown since my last blog entry!! I can't believe that it has been over two months. So, you may be wondering what I have been doing during that time.

Like you, I have been SuperBusy. In an effort to align my skills, talents and interests where I can make a tremendous difference, I have been researching new markets. What I have found is that small business leaders, owners, entrepreneurs have a lot on their plate. Too often, even when they have staff, they have a hard time of letting go of some of their tasks. Sometimes, although they have specific goals each day, they are pulled off task by urgency's or other important matters that draw their attention.

Therefore, I will continue my research and I will continue working with my current clients to help them focus on their priorities both at work and home. One of my clients recently told me the power of living without the sense of chaos and stress as a result of working with me on a regular basis every other week. Another client had me help her through an important career decision so that she made the decision for the right reasons for her rather than putting others first yet again.

I am poising for growth by working on the infrastructure of my business: the systems and processes while preparing some new programs to meet the growing needs that I have learned about. With so many people focused on the economy, the crises, and the job situation, I intend to focus on the hope and the positives that will bring each individual and this country forward. Negative energy is contagious; what positive thoughts will help you achieve what you want today?

As always, I love to hear from you! Let me know your thoughts, challenges, needs, and opportunities. I am hear to support you growing to your fullest potential!

Yours truly,

Natalie Gahrmann
The Priority Pro

Workforce Reductions

2008-10-28T13:30:00.005-04:00

The work place is changing rapidly! Reductions in the workforce are dangerously leading to increased work overload. Fear is permeating the work environment as survivors are concerned about being axed next. Businesses are in danger of failing if leaders are not able to successfully quell employee anxieties, stress, disengagement and burnout.

One of my coaching clients shared with me that it is rumored that her employer will be undergoing major cutbacks in the upcoming months. Although nothing has formally been announced, employees are communicating informally, through the grapevine. They have been told that they will no longer be able to telecommute, as well. The assumption is that they want them all to be at the office location so that it's easier to lay people off and escort them out.

How organizational change is managed and communicated is essential to operating the ongoing business. The most successful businesses engage employees in the process and keep them informed about the status of things.

Employees naturally fear the unknown and react heavily to speculation and negative rumors. When employees feel threatened, their daily working lives are effected as energy is expended on fear and worry rather than achieving business results. Employees may quickly become paranoid and distrusting. If communication is not done in a timely fashion, by the time employees hear the news, productivity has already taken a downturn.

In contrast, necessary layoffs are understood if clear, honest, compassionate information is conveyed, adequate notice is given, outplacement assistance is provided, and fair severance packages are offered, and if those who are to be retained are assured of the security of their jobs and given assistance in adapting to change.

Avoidance Tactics are Really just your own Distractions at Work

2008-10-22T10:10:00.000-04:00

I have found that there are certain tasks I really do not enjoy doing. Most of these things are those items I am really not naturally very good at. For example, managing my bookkeeping is something I dread. I usually avoid the electronic files and just cannot seemed to get focused to do them. In my mind, I am just not good at it. So, I avoid it. I really hate doing it!

Avoidance is a distraction in itself. By avoiding doing these tasks we are actually procrastinating! In most cases, procrastination is letting the low-priority tasks get in the way of high-priority ones. For example, it is socializing with colleagues when you know that an important work project is due; watching television rather than doing your household chores; or talking about unimportant things with your partner rather than discussing your relationship concerns or other important issues. In my case, it is more simply ignoring the low priority activities with hopes that they will eventually just go away!

So, in the meantime, my standards have declined. I used to keep an absolutely clean home and well organized office. Instead, I let it slip because I was focusing on my higher level priorities. I also realized that my standards were set too high and were unrealistic. Unfortunately, though the result is that I zap a lot of my energy working in a cluttered space and being dissatisfied about how my house or office looks. One solution is to hire someone else to do it; this is called outsourcing. However, these are things I do not want to outsource because I like to handle them myself and have the family share in the responsibility.

On the other-hand, managing my books and database is something that can be outsourced. I have taken some classes, updated my programs, and had some 1-1 but still feel resistant to doing these tasks. These are the types of activities that are essential for me to do as a business owner.

Delegating and outsourcing are great solutions for those tasks you really don't want to do! Now it is time for me to follow my own advice and hire (or barter) for these services. Anyone know a good administrative assistant?

Economic Worries are a Major Distraction

2008-10-20T21:18:00.001-04:00

As the economy takes a roller coaster ride, concern about losing their job and the declining value of financial investments are distracting many employees. The current economic uncertainty has threatened workforce productivity. Not surprisingly, 81 percent of Americans indicated that they are worried about something related to their jobs, according to the 2008 Workplace Insights survey done by Adecco USA. The areas most highly rated in job-related worries include:

High gas prices (25 percent)
Stagnant pay checks (13 percent)
Work-life balance (12 percent)
Rising health care costs (9 percent)
Job market instability (7 percent)
Opportunities for advancement (6 percent)
Outsourcing of jobs (4 percent)
Other worries (5 percent)

These worries affect you potentially at every level of your being. Do not panic and withdraw your funds from your 401K. Do not worry about things that are totally out of your control. Worry, stress and anxieties take a huge toll on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and can exacerbate your situation. Unfortunately, when employees are worried and feel anxious, they tend to put in less effort, perform less efficiently and lose focus more often, resulting in more fear and anxiety. These employees may seem distracted, disengaged or distant.

Be aware of your thoughts and worries. Realize that 87 percent of what people worry about never actually occurs. Worrying it and of itself only produces more worry and fear. Instead, spend your energy taking deliberate focused action toward your goals. Surround yourself with positive people. Denying that the fears and worries exist will not remove them. You actually need to allow the fear and worry to engage your brain, body and heart simultaneously and move through it using efficiency, confidence, clarity, and ease.

Realize that worrying and being fearful is actually a choice, as is choosing to release them. You do have control over your worries, fears and anxieties. You can replace the behaviors, habits and patterns that are not serving you with ones that are more productive.

Lazy or bored??

2008-10-19T14:51:00.002-04:00

I wonder how many lazy people are in fact bored and might benefit from more work rather than less?

Too often, people are labeled as lazy when they're caught searching the Internet or gazing out the window. Problem is that without being mentally challenged, they are distracted and bored. This leads to lower productivity and decreased job satisfaction.

There may be extensive consequences to your behavior and it may easily be misconstrued. Many of the reasons people get fired are related to the perception that they are lazy. If you
can’t stay motivated about your job and focused on your work, you’re in trouble! Being passionate about your work will bring the greatest levels of success.

Be a big picture thinker and connect the work you are doing to the bottom-line. Rather than getting bogged down in the details of a boring task that feels meaningless connect it to the bigger picture. Keep abreast of your overall goals and realize that your current task is just a small step along the way to accomplishing your bigger goals, whatever they may be. If you're not busy enough, or the majority of your work feels meaningless, volunteer for other projects and opportunities. Align with the company's goals and get noticed for doing quality work rather than goofing off.

Limit your time on social networking sites, surfing the Internet, socializing, visiting message boards, and personal phone calls. When you're bored (or possibly avoiding work you don't want to do---we'll talk about this in another BLOG post soon!), you are much more likely to peruse these sites and get absorbed into their content.

Lastly, if you're still feeling a little bored or even lazy either take a walk to help you re-focus or do a quick breathing exercise. A breathing exercise I use and teach during some of my seminars is to:

Close your eyes if you can.
Take a slow deep breath in (at least 5-count) and let if fill your abdomen as much as you can. (You’ll know you’re doing it right when you see your belly rise; your chest should not inflate.)
Hold for a count of 3-5.
Exhale to a 5-count through your mouth. (You should feel the breathe blowing out of your mouth)

Be aware of how you spend your time throughout the day. Be careful of the perception you might be giving out to others. Is this what you really want to be communicating?

Music at Work

2008-10-17T12:28:00.002-04:00

Studies show that it's pretty easy for us to keep music in the background when we focus on something else. Some agree with this statement while others strongly disagree.

In an article I read in the Star Ledger this past Sunday in the Job Finder section, "Tune in, Tune Out: The Emerging Etiquette of Earbuds and Music at Work" they mentioned a 2006 Harris Interactive Poll that found nearly 90% if workers age 18 to 39 say music improves their job satisfaction and productivity. About one third of employees were plugged into person music devices in 2006.

I believe that if plugging in a set of headphones and listening to music helps increase productivity, then go for it! Unfortunately, sometimes people sing out loud, have music loud enough others could here it, dance in their chair or do other actions that are distracting to others around them. So, if policy in your workplace allows music, be mindful of others around you and respectful of their needs to work in a non-distracting environment. A little bit of etiquette and common courtesy could make this a non-issue all the way around!

Fighting the Impulse of Distractions

2008-10-15T16:32:00.003-04:00

While researching about the impact of distractions on the younger generation, I also found this interesting thought....

You need to be able to control your impulses in order to stay better focused at work. Saying no to distractions depends, in part, on being able to control your impulses — something that's not fully developed in a teenager's brain, but is more developed as you mature.

Teens Multitasking

2008-10-15T15:00:00.004-04:00

For years, scientists have said that multitasking is ineffective yet many in today's workforce continue to use it as a technique for managing their burgeoning workloads. In the latest reports, the effects on teens are noted. Although their propensity for doing multiple tasks at any one time drives most parents and adults crazy, for them, this is a way of life!

I remember a friend of mine boasting to me how his daughter can sit at the computer researching for a paper or doing her homework while at the same time having multiple windows open, the music on, and talking on the phone. She would be doing her Calculus homework, texting about German, and making plans to hang out, while searching the Internet for her latest research project. She was carrying a full load of Advanced Placement classes, participating in girls basketball and active in her church youth group. If she wasn't maintaining high honors, I would definitely question the effectiveness of her approach. A daughter of a scientist and an engineer either her intelligence was found in her genes or perhaps her unique approach to getting it all done and keeping it all together.

Personally, as a baby boomer, I shudder at the speed that teens are able to tackle tasks and also worried about the possible long-term side effects that have not yet been addressed in scientific or behavioral research.

According to the latest research, although doing several things simultaneously may feel productive, rapidly switching between tasks may actually slow you down as your brain loses connection to important information and significant time is lost re-focusing and getting back on-task. With multitasking it is almost impossible to gain a depth of knowledge of any of the simultaneous tasks. Yet today's teens have tremendous skills to be able to be doing multiple things at the same time!

An ever-increasing number of teens are finding it difficult to concentrate and focus on just one task at a time. Although there's not much data yet on teens, David Meyer at the University of Michigan has spent the past few decades studying multitasking — mostly in adults. He says,
"For tasks that are at all complicated, no matter how good you have become at multitasking, you're still going to suffer hits against your performance. You will be worse compared to if you were actually concentrating from start to finish on the task,". When you are interrupted, re-establishing focus may take seconds, minutes or even hours.

Yet, with teens who have pretty much grown up on technology and multitasking, Meyer and others believe that these youngsters are developing coping skills unlike what older generations have developed and may therefore be more equipped to perform better in future work environments where they are required to accomplish a lot. They have grown up always doing multiple things, so they are naturally more skilled at it than previous generations.

While multitasking gives a sense of doing more and being more efficient, research suggests that the performance results are higher when fully focusing on just one activity. There's not much research on the addictive nature of multitasking yet or the possible long-term negative effects on the developing brain. Researchers are not sure what the long-term impact might be because studies have not yet probed this area. While some fear that the penchant for flitting from task-to-task could have serious consequences on young people's ability to focus and develop analytical skills, others are more optimistic.

For teens, multitasking is really all they know; they are conditioned to do it based on the availability of technology tools, gadgets, and the ease of their use. Who knows, maybe this generation will be able to teach us a thing or two about more effectively multitasking while being productive??

Pets and Distractions

2008-10-14T14:33:00.009-04:00

If you are a pet owner, you may understand another area of potential distraction that I personally discovered today. After I dropped my dog at the vet this morning for surgery to repair his torn ACL, I returned to my office and found it very difficult to focus on my work. I was on edge each and every time the phone rang because I was concerned that something might go wrong. Working from home, I also missed his company.

As I started researching this notion further, the first article I came across, "Four-Legged Distractions" , written by Lisa Belkin for the NY Times on March 28, 2001, acknowledged this problem. Lisa is a contributing writer and columnist with the NY Times since 1995, an author and radio talk show host who works from a home-based office. She shared the difficulty of working from home with her new puppy, Riley, frequently seeking her attention and affection. As an expert in balancing life, she recognizes the challenge of work vs. pet ownership.

Pets are an important part of the lives of many people. In fact, many pet owners report feeling guilty about leaving their animals at home when they go to work. In a study conducted by the American Animal Hospital Association, 75 percent of pet owners reported feeling guilty and 38 percent admitted to calling home to talk to their animals. Being a pet owner has added so much to my life including exercise, a loyal companion, and more! Now, as my dog "Nibbles" begins his aging process, I'll undoubtedly experience many more distractions as he has more frequent health issues.

If you're a pet owner, how do you handle the distractions?

An Article about a Natural Approach to Gaining Better Focus

2008-10-08T10:00:00.004-04:00

This article was forwarded to me from a friend. It is written by Dr. Rob for MSN Health & Fitness. This advice offers a method for improving your concentration that's not far different than what I've been sharing as an expert in helping people increase performance, productivity and satisfaction by decreasing distractions. To view the original article, links and find out more about the author, please follow this link.

Q: I am having difficulty staying focused on my job. I work at a high school and my environment is not library quiet and is often either too hot or too cold. I have many interruptions and can't seem to complete a task. Is there something natural to take that helps to stay focused?

A: Sounds like you are working in a very open, spontaneous and interactive environment. Needless to say, it would be hard for anybody to focus on a specific task while dealing with frequent interruptions.

That said, the most natural solution would be to enlist your administrator’s help in relocating to a more worker-friendly area of the office. Or you might rearrange your workday in a manner that schedules in specific times for student visits and phone conversations, plus do-not-disturb times dedicated to completing assigned tasks. Taking a pill, natural or otherwise, would not protect you from a highly distracting workplace environment.

When referring to a person’s ability to focus or concentrate, we imply that their thoughts are narrowly channeled toward what they are:

Currently doing (playing, watching a movie, working on a job assignment).
Intending to do (gathering information needed for a presentation).
Wanting to complete (homework, project, others).

If thoughts, feelings or one’s environment disrupt the ability to complete tasks in a timely or mistake-free manner, there may be a problem with focus or concentration. More often than not, distractions are the main reasons for this concern. These can be grouped into two categories: Internal and External.

Internal distractions are driven by your own thoughts, emotions and physical well-being. For instance, have you ever tried to do homework on an empty stomach or when you were very tired? If so, you know it can be hard to concentrate. Other internal distractions include but aren’t limited to:

Poor organizational ability.

Impaired ability to read or understand (eye or hearing problem, dyslexia).

Worry, anxiety or depression.

Job dissatisfaction.

Time of day (too early or too late).

Medications or supplements (stimulants, fatigue-causing drugs, others).

And lack of exercise.

Even though attention deficit disorder (with or without hyperactivity) can be a significant cause of internal distraction, I do not think that is contributing to your lack of focus. I say this because you did not mention having ADD/ADHD as a child, nor did you express problems with impulsivity (speaking before thinking, gambling problem, others), distractibility (cannot follow conversations, easily bored, others), or hyperactivity (constant talking, trouble sitting still, others).

External distractions are related to the environment. In regard to your workplace, there are lots of reasons for your inability to fully concentrate. These include:

Noise.

Constant interruption (telephone, student needs, co-workers).

E-mail, inter-office mail, public address system announcements.

Uncomfortable office air temperatures.

It is important to know that each and every one of us has a different temperament, coping mechanism for working in a busy environment and the ability to maintain focus amid a storm of chaos. We can only do our best while adapting to the situation at hand.
Robert Danoff's Top 10 strategies for helping you stay focused at work include:

Prioritize tasks into what is important and urgent. Accomplish these first, then complete others in a timely manner.
Ask for help. If you are constantly interrupted by phone calls or impromptu student visits, meet with your supervisor in order to provide a more organized structure.
De-clutter your workspace, leaving only one project to be completed at a time.
Noise cancellation devices, such as earplugs, may help improve your focus on the task at hand.
Privacy. See if you can relocate to another area when your assignment requires attention without interruption.
Temperature control. Ask the maintenance department to provide better regulation of the heating and cooling system in your office.
Create solutions that will provide for a better work environment.
Nurture yourself, and provide positive feedback with your accomplishments.
Stop fighting the tide. Learn to accept and expect interruptions. Instead of getting frustrated, just go with the flow.
Don’t look too far ahead. Step back, take a deep breath, smile and exhale. Now you’re ready for the task at hand!

Robert Danoff, D.O., M.S., is a family physician and program director of The Family Practice Residency, as well as the combined Family Practice/Emergency Medicine Residency programs at Frankford Hospitals, Jefferson Health System, Philadelphia, Pa. He is the medical correspondent for CN8, The Comcast Network, a regular contributor to Discovery Health Online and a contributing writer to The New York Times Special Features. (Read his full bio.)

Distracted by Injury

2008-10-07T15:21:00.006-04:00

I spent over 5 hours in the emergency room and several hours prior between the doctor's office and the radiology office yesterday. My son suffered from a displaced fracture in his hand. This distracted me from work most of yesterday and much of today as I follow-up to contact insurance, arrange an appointment with the specialist, calm my nerves, and help him address him pain.

When family emergencies strike we are pulled from our work to address the situation promptly. I accomplished only the absolutely necessary to prepare for a workshop I am presenting tomorrow, (ironically it's on "Stress Management") and respond to a few inquiries.

When disaster strikes, emergencies occur, or the like it is important to focus where it's most important and communicate clearly to others about your need to concentrate elsewhere. Having a strong support network was and always has been very helpful in any crises.

On top of everything already occuring, I had tried most of the day yesterday to contact another mom from my Monday carpool for dance beings it was my week to pick up my daughter and 2 other girls from school, pick up a pizza for dinner, and drop them at dance class. Unfortunately, I was not able to connect with the another mom from the carpool. As it got later and it was clear that I couldn't get from the Radiologist to the school on time, I realized that I needed another plan. I called a different mom from the dance school, explained my situation and requested her help. She was not able to pick up the girls either but she called up one of the dance teachers and got her to help us out. The dance teacher connected with one of the moms I had tried unsuccessfully to get all day and explained the situation. Once the girls were taken care of, I released a huge sigh of relief and was able to fully focus on my son again.

Sometimes we are challenged by multiple conflicting priorities and emotions. During these times, it helps to know what is most important to you, what your options are and who is available to help. Always have a few phone numbers on hand so that you have a variety of people to call! Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Exemplary Leading During Tough Times

2008-10-03T10:51:00.001-04:00

In times of economic slowdown and crises, leadership skills are more important than ever!! According to Ronald Heifetz, director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government, "...the strongest leaders take the courage to face reality, the humility to admit when they don't have all the answers, and the commitment to make changes. The new role is to help people face reality and to mobilize them to make changes."

Many companies are already enduring a global economic downturn and an uncertain future. Markets are shifting their priorities causing some delay in purchasing decisions or cancelation of orders. Productivity is suffering mostly due to waning focus and motivation of the workforce. And, busines leaders are faced with similar emotions and anxieties that everyone else has.

Here are a few suggested strategies to help you navigate as a strong and successful leader during these troubled times:

1. Stay focused
Being alert and attentive is important. Leaders need to be a role model that helps employees align with the company's vision, mission and values. Leaders need to help keep everyone be engaged and ease their tension and anxieties by providing direction, vision, stability and support.

2. Communicate often
Employees need to feel connected to their leaders. Honest, straight-forward, consistent and frequent communication is important and helps diminish the rumors that fly in the face of fear and uncertainty. Leaders must provide the workforce with progress reports and keep them informed.

3. Motivate your workforce
Although it may be difficult during extreme and intense times, leaders must keep the workforce motivated, energized and committed. Help your employees take personal responsibility and accountability for helping the company succeed.

4. Prepare for the future
Prepare for a healthy and prosperous future. Re-position customer service and commitment to quality. Serve your customers well. Help keep the company in a healthy position to survive troubled times. Continue investing in on-going learning that can be applied to making things better now and in the future. Provide coaching, training and mentoring to help develop your employees.

6. Benchmark against the best
It's hard to say which companies will do best in the future. Many companies are faltering. Mergers and acquisitions are commonplace. Be aware of what your competitors are doing and how they are performing. Learn from their mistakes. Savor in the opportunities to learn from the best and capatalize on their experiences. Proactively look for areas that can be improved in your organization.

Don't take a wait-and-see attitude but instead pursue long-term prosperity and growth and control what you can!

Meals in Minutes

2008-10-02T14:31:00.004-04:00

In my latest e-newsletter, I shared a tip this week about planning quick and healthy meals. One of my readers who is a former client, shared anothe great idea with me.

"Last year, I was part of a moms group that prepared a frozen meal for each person in the group. It was good to get with them. Many of them had special needs kids. SO cooking is something they enjoyed. Plus they want health meals. I really miss the group. It was nice to have the meals already planned for the month. It was a really time saver too. There were 8 in the group . SO we met and decided what we were each will to cook. This took a whole day to prepare with shopping for the food. You need freeze. But you ended up with 8 meals for a serving of 8. I had them split my meals. So I ended up with 16 meals. Hope you understand this. But it was good for the season. Plus my cooking skills improved. Steve really enjoyed the variety. One lady loved to cook soups. Not something I did. Steve loved them. I have now learned how to cook a good soup."

You can subscribe to my bi-monthly e-newsletter FREE!! Simply send a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit my website and click the link there.

Have an idea to share, please add your comments or send your idea directly to me.

Stay Focused During Extreme Times

2008-10-01T12:18:00.003-04:00

In today’s volatile and uncertain economy fears abound across many industries and professions throughout the US and abroad. People fear losing their job, their home, their financial savings, and their health.

This fear has immobilized many people and caused a sharp decrease in workforce productivity. It is very difficult for people to concentrate on the task-at-hand when they have so many concerns. We are indeed living in challenging times. These are times of uncertainty but life will continue.

Now is the time to focus like never before, to determine what’s really most important to you, and how you can best proceed. It’s a time to take fate into your own hands and be in control of your life. Rather than feeling like a victim, create your paths, secure your future, do what you need to do to help overcome your fears.

Fear is an indication to do something. Doing nothing or ruminating about all the possible scenarios can keep you stuck. There are very few guarantees in life. You may need to take some risks to take control. Determine for yourself the degree of risk you can handle and make choices based on this. Find ways to keep your productivity high as well as the quality of your work so that your self-esteem doesn’t suffer unduly.

These are days of extreme and often irrational pessimism. The way to survive this crisis is to stay focused on the fundamentals. The benefit to you is less stress, more control. The benefit to the economy and to businesses is that productivity and standards don’t suffer.

What's your fears telling you to do different or do differently??

When Technology doesn't work

2008-09-26T13:30:00.003-04:00

I have spent the majority of my day, nearly 5 hours being focused so that I can get my BLOG listed at some directories and post an article. This was my main priority today and I planned on 1-2 hours to complete this task.

Has this ever happened to you??? You plan on something being less complicated than it becomes. It expends so much of your time and energy. You become so determined to get it done because this is what you have committed to do (I even declared it to a couple of people to help minimize interruptions!).

Personally, I find this so frustrating and a waste of time! Please share your tips for me and others to overcome this problem!

Overscheduled Kids leads to Over-Stressed Families

2008-09-25T14:26:00.007-04:00

Teachers handed out an article last week at back-to-school night without identifying where the story came from. However, the article, "Kids call for a Time Out" stated the problems over scheduled families face and gave a tried and true solution..."Just say no".

My children are involved in activities. Early on, my husband and I set limits on how many and how much they can be involved with at any one time with the caveat the school always comes first and any drop in grades will result in changes in their extra-curricular schedule. Admittedly, there have been times along the years that we had the same conflicts in scheduling, transportation and other conflicts that other families also face. However, my children have learned to make choices!

My 11 year old daughter was a competitive gymnast up until last year. She took up dancing to help enhance her gymnastics presentation and skills. Ultimately, she liked dancing so much that she's elected to drop from the gymnastics team and devote more time to dancing. She originally wanted to take 5 nights of classes but in re-thinking opted for 4 nights, with usually just 1 class a night. We are involved in carpools and the dance school is conveniently located about a mile from our home. Next year, she'd like to try out for cheerleading. She wanted to try out last year but due to an already pressed schedule, chose not to.

My son is also involved in extra-curricular. During the spring he participates in a non-travel baseball team and in the fall/winter he is in a youth basketball league. We chose these because his main interest is motocross, which is usually a weekend activity. He, too, has learned to make choices based on his primary interests. The basic rule of thumb is up to 2 activities at any one time if they don't conflict. Prior to registering, we ask allot of questions about the schedule and commitment.

A growing number of parents are avoiding over-scheduling their kids because they think the hyper-scheduling has gone too far. Now a Minnesota group has set up a website www.FamilyLife1st.org to help parents curb their children's' crazy schedules. This group receives new inquiries daily as an increasing number of parents are ready to refocus their lives and the lives of their children.

How about your children...are they over-scheduled?

Communication Technology Distractions

2008-09-18T12:36:00.001-04:00

Text messages, instant messaging and online chat (which is frequently being used in some work environments as a communication tool) are often over-used; some are in the form of pop-up boxes that immediately open when the message arrives. The Internet and the ease to search for hours on end is a frequent offender both at home and at work. The best way to manage these is to prevent them in the first place. Managing expectations in an age of instant access is a challenge but possible with clear indications of when and how these will be handled.

Telephone calls are another big distraction in our lives. When focusing on the task-at-hand, most people feel the need to pick-up the ringing phone whether it’s the cell phone or standard office line. Calls can come from coworkers, customers, patients, your boss, and family, friends and personal service providers (e.g., doctor, lawyer, accountant, auto mechanic, real estate agent). It’s easy to say “just don’t answer the phone” or “turn the ringer off” during focus times, it’s another thing to put this into practice. As long as your caller has an opportunity to leave a voice message, they will do so and you can call back at a more convenient time.

How do you protect your time and the 24/7 availability?

Taming Email

2008-09-16T14:12:00.000-04:00

Email is the number one distraction for most people at work! People complain of burgeoning in-boxes from recipients expecting an instant response, address lists including unnecessary recipients, and large volumes of unsolicited emails. Our society in general has placed a high value and unrealistic expectations on immediate access and response. Taming e-mail means training senders to put the burden of quality back on themselves to use better judgment when sending emails, minimizing the number of words in a message, being more descriptive in the subject line to summarize the gist of the message or action needed, making action requests clear, and determining who needs to receive the message rather than copying everyone.

It wasn’t long ago that SPAM mail was the biggest email problem, however, with added filters and spam-blockers the numbers have decreased thus making it a little easier to manage. Fortunately, these messages are easy to spot and can be deleted pretty quickly! Regrettably, the number of emails received on an average day continues to increase. Better management of the inbox and improved decision-making will help. Also, putting some systems in place to help you manage your email overload will make a recognizable difference. Here are a couple of quick tips:

Only check e-mail at defined times each day.
Train people to be relevant so that they only send you emails when they pertain to you.
Answer briefly while providing context upfront in your message as to the nature of your reply.
Send out delayed responses by inserting a scheduled delay in when your typed response will actually be sent.
Ignore it and trust that if it’s important you’ll hear about it again.
Organize your follow-up list and respond based on priority.

What are your techniques for controlling your inbox??

How to Truly Pay Attention to your Work--Before it Costs you Your Job

2008-09-12T16:31:00.000-04:00

The four important keys for managing distractions at work so that you can increase your productivity and performance include:

1. Recognize what, when, why and how distractions occur for you. Realize they may be different for you than for others.

2. Identify everything vying for your time, attention and resources.

3. Select your top priorities.

4. Realign around your priorities and FOCUS!!

What works for you??

Is Sarah Palin ready to be the next VP?

2008-09-10T08:41:00.009-04:00

Pretty much everywhere I go and in many of my phone conversations, women are talking about Sarah Palin's nomination to the VP spot on the Republican ticket. Never before have I heard so many diverse people voice their opinions and concerns about an election. Her election has provoked many conversations and reactions not only in the US, but around the world!

I was interviewed on News Radio 740 KTRH located in Houston, TX in a show that aired this past Monday. They inquired about my opinion regarding working mothers. So, I wonder, is the controversy about her election into the VP candidate position really about her experience, her family responsibilities, her views on the issues, her ability to perform the job duties, or perhaps, something else or a combination of sorts?

The question I keep hearing is "What is a woman with five children, including an infant with Downs Syndrome, doing seeking the Vice Presidency of the United States?"

My initial reaction is that if this were a man (and many men have had families while holding high public office!) it would not be discussed as an issue. In an election year where Hillary Clinton nearly became the first Presidential candidate women have been more involved emotionally and mentally from the onset of this campaign.

I've heard this issue characterized as a gender bias issue and also sexist. I've heard people across the country question whether a mother of five would have a hard time fulfilling the duties of the second highest office in the country. I've also heard people question her commitment to her family and what's in the best interest of her children.

The real issues should be about whether or not any candidate can fulfill the oath of their position. Do they have the experience, knowledge, resources to handle their job responsibilities? Will their be conflicting demands and priorities that might interfere with the duties of the position? If so, how will they be handled? What if she became pregnant again while in office?

Women have successfully worked for years in positions of varying responsibilites and visibility. Working mothers have led successful companies, states, towns, hospitals, and universities. Is the Vice Presidential position such a position that lends itself to the work-life balance needs of a working mother (and soon-to-be grandmother)?

Many career opportunities are available today for women who seek a career outside the home. With work-life balance being a top concern of employers and employees since the 60's, much has been done to address the needs and provide a variety of approaches for helping people manage. Is the government ready to address ths at such a high level? If so, what will this do for working mothers across the Country?

One concern that's come up for me is that although much of what I initially read and heard about Sarah Palin described her husband as a caretaker for their children and a stay-at-home dad, the more recent news describes him as an oil field production operator, a commercial fisherman, and professional snowmobile racer who spends extended periods away from the home. His work requires that he spend most of his time out at sea or traveling at high speeds over frozen tundra.

No mention has been made of extended family or a support network of friends who have helped in the past with child rearing (or other home-based responsibilities) or might be available in the future if Mrs. Palin becomes the Vice President of the United States of America. There is no dispute that young children do need the time and attention from their parent(s). In my opinion, how Sarah Palin cares for her children is really more of a personal decision but one which deserves attention from the point that, if elected, she would hold the highest office of any woman in the US. And, if the elected President, John McCain had any issues that prevented him from fulfilling his duties, Sarah Palin would become the first female President of the US. Is she ready? Is America ready? Is the world ready?

Is this discussion and the questions raised sexist or realist? What are your views??

The Glass Hammer exists

2008-09-09T10:24:00.006-04:00

If you are a women executive in the financial services, law or business industry, you may be interested in a BLOG called "The Glass Hammer". This site is an online community created specifically for women executives in financial services, law and business. It’s not only about work, but also about what to do after work, and it’s about having fun and being a fantastic human being.

The founder, Nicki Gilmour, publishes this BLOG to help you not only survive but to thrive at life and at work. The goal of The Glass Hammer site is to:

Engage you with stories from the top and the trenches and share with you the good, bad and ugly of life in the business world.
Answer your questions and address work/life issues via our on-call panel of industry experts.
Become the ONE place you check for networking and employment opportunities.
Give you the best training and support so both your career and your life can flourish.

Check it out and let us know what you think!

Staying focused

2008-09-04T12:59:00.005-04:00

On average in our fast-paced society, we switch tasks every 3 minutes, and once distracted can take up to a half an hour to resume the original task. This pace leaves many unfocused and challenged to complete tasks. It can cause you to miss crucial information during a conversation and damage teamwork, work and personal relationships. These distractions effect teamwork, focus and productivity. It's harder and harder to stay focused on our important tasks at work. Most people struggle throughout the day to stay focused and in the present.

Consider these tips to help stay more focused at work or home:

Take a breather and allow yourself to zone out for a brief time

Stretch or take a walk to help get re-focused

Engage in eye contact when communicating face-to-face

Turn away from the computer, window, messy desk during conversations

Use various types of meditation to slow breathing and maintain clarity

Turn off the electronics and communication devices

Move to a quiet area to concentrate on a complex task free of interruptions

Live in the moment and be fully present

Practice re-engaging and re-focusing often; train your mind to stop drifting

Business or personal coaching can help you develop tools and strategies to gain more focus. The Distraction Diva, Natalie Gahrmann, helps busy professionals increase performance, productivity and satisfaction by decreasing distractions.

Workplace Distractions

2008-08-30T09:30:00.003-04:00

Robin Fogel, a fellow Executive and Career Coach, recently published the following in her monthly newsletter and granted me permission to share it here. To learn more about Robin visit, http://www.coachrobinfogel.com/.

Whether it is the workplace or life in general, our modern existence seems to demand that we get more done. Yet while we are being asked to accomplish more, there are also greater distractions. Multitasking was originally praised as one solution, a way to accomplish more, a way that we could be more efficient. Recent scientific findings are now reaching the opposite conclusion; multitasking is not making us more productive, in fact it may be reducing productivity. Now, in a new book by Maggie Jackson, "Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age", the author writes that constant interruptions have hurt workers' ability to focus. She says that, "roughly once every three minutes, typical cubicle dwellers set aside whatever they are doing and start something else". She writes that these constant interruptions consume as much as "28% of the average US worker's day, including recovery time, and sap productivity to the tune of $650 billion a year".

While the costs to businesses are enormous there are personal costs as well. A recent study found that those workers who are regularly interrupted expressed greater frustration, and felt greater pressure and stress over their inability to get their work done.

Ms. Jackson wrote that if we "jump on every e-mail or ping; we'll have trouble pursuing our long term goals". So, as you read this article, if you are also checking your voicemail, talking to a
co-worker or toggling between websites, remember that it is the ability to focus and complete one task at a time that will increase your productivity and have you feeling less frustrated. And remember to close your office door, if you have one, for some uninterrupted work time. Turn off the email alert beeper on your computer, and make it clear that you are not to be disturbed unless there is a true emergency.

The late Peter Drucker, author of "The Effective Executive", once wrote, "To be effective, every knowledgeable worker, and especially every executive needs to dispose of time in fairly large chunks...to have small dribs and drabs of time at his disposal will not be sufficient even if the total is an impressive number of hours."

Conquer Challenges of Work & Family

2008-08-28T10:26:00.004-04:00

As life continues to speed up around you and technology provides opportunities for you to do more, many people feel further away from living a balanced life. One of the central concerns of all working professionals is to live a balanced life. Your life, however, is fluid and in constant motion, therefore the challenges you face are continually shifting and evolving. You must find the formula that works for you and avoid the should's, could's, and have to's because they reflect someone else's standards rather than your own.

You must learn to look, not for a solution, but for a process, a way of addressing your challenges and issues that you can use over and over as each issue arises. Just as you weigh the pro's and con's of each course of action at work, you set goals and objectives, you organize your work, you delegate, and, you communicate, you must learn to bring this level of concentration, focus and discipline to your life at home. Interestingly, the same skills that contribute to your success on the job and make you a valued, productive employee, are the skills you also need to manage your home life and to achieve a healthy balance.

Some of the common challenges facing working professionals today include: time for self, relationships and family; being able to organize at home and work; sticking to priorities; professional development and career growth; societal standards; conflicting demands; and sheer exhaustion. You can combat some of these challenges by:

keeping a healthy perspective
rethinking the 'should's, 'could's, 'have to's, 'ought's and 'if only's in your life
acknowledging and accepting your reality and current situation
recognizing your limitations
having a positive attitude
aligning your actions and handling of every day tasks and demands with what's truly most important to you (seek the joy in life and you'll end up feeling balanced and happy)
committing to making changes to simplify your life and eliminate habits that no longer serve you.

The stress of balancing work and personal life can make you feel out of control. It can negatively affect your health and self-esteem. Feeling in control increases your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you can be a more productive worker and a more loving parent and partner.

Use driving time

2008-08-27T15:34:00.000-04:00

Lately I’ve been attending more meetings, events, conferences and tapings than normal so I’ve been spending more time on the road commuting to and from locations than I usually do. It is a good reminder for me that this time can feel totally wasted or effectively used, depending on how you spend it. You have numerous options how to use your commuting time. Here are a couple of things that come to mind:

Relax. Do nothing and feel good about it!
Practice deep breathing.
Do Kegal exercises (or other exercises or stretches you can safely perform while driving).
Catch up on phone calls (using a headset or speakerphone, of course!)
Listen to music—your choice, highly energizing or soft and relaxing.
Create a to-do list.
Sing!
Dictate into a tape recorder.
Observe nature, people, cars, billboards, etc. Be really present in the moment.
Change your clothes (not highly recommended! I used to do this on my commute from the office to the college when I was working on my masters).
Eat (be careful though, some foods adapt better to eating on the go than others!)
Drink—non-alcoholic, of course!. (I recommend keeping a bottle of water in your car at all times. If it’s there, you’re more likely to drink it)
Plan your meals.
Create your shopping list.
Put on make-up (while the car is stopped at a light or in traffic, of course!)
Spend some quality time with your children (if they’re commuting with you. Children are more likely to talk and share information when you’re not able to look them right in the eye).
Find another route. Explore other roads less traveled.
Carpool with a friend and really get to know him/her.
Rest your eyes (not while your car is moving but when you are stopped briefly).
Do errands along the way to avoid extra trips out.
Play a game (even if no one else is in the car with you! I’ve stopped boredom a number of times by noting license plates from other states, counting convertibles, etc.).
Practice a conversation or speech.
Listen to an inspirational audio.
Take an audio class for personal or professional growth.
Flirt!
Wave to someone in another car.
Plan a date.
Phone home. Find out if anything is needed. Get a feel for everyone else’s mood so that you can adjust yours accordingly.
Read (only if someone else is driving!)
Knit (only if someone else is driving!)
Clip coupons (only if someone else is driving!)
Just look out the window.
Have a crisis (not highly recommended! Be sure you have enough gas, oil and other fluids, the right tire pressure, working lights and windshield wipers, etc. Have some extra cash and coins on-hand. Have a snack and drink readily available. Have a first-aid kit, emergency supplies, a map, a working phone, and anything else you can think of on-hand to avoid having a crisis to or from work. Either will totally ruin your day!)
Unwind from a stressful morning on your commute in. Be thankful that you’re away from the craziness of home!
Unwind from a stressful day at work. Be thankful to be reuniting with your family after a busy day on-the-job.

With a list this long, I’m sure you’ll find some things to do during your commute, so, consciously choose how you want to use your commuting time. Avoid letting circumstances rule your time. Try out some of the ideas above, create some new one (and share them with me, of course!)

Basic Tips for Managing Multiple Projects

2008-08-26T10:19:00.002-04:00

I searched the Internet last week to develop a list to present at a workshop I was preparing for a client. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the sources but I want to share the following:

Basic Tips for Managing Multiple Projects

1. Before you check your voice mail or email each morning, list what you would like to accomplish today. Be realistic about how much and what you can really accomplish in any given day. Prioritize what needs to be completed immediately and what can wait until later in the day.

2. Once you have your prioritized list, and depending on the type of work you do, either get a top priority completed (even just a major step!) or check your messages to see what's come in since you left the office. Write down all the pertinent information (e.g., request, contact info). Determine a time in your day when you will return messages. Reply with detailed messages whenever possible to derail the telephone tag which could ensure when you and your contact keep leaving messages for each other. This saves a huge amount of time and frustration! Reprioritize your list based on the messages you received.

3. Stay organized. Being organized will diminish stress levels. Keep project or client info well organized and easy to locate. Have only one project or file on your desk at a time so that you can stay focused on the task at hand. Avoid multi-tasking because this causes you to bounce around from project to project.

4. At the end of the day, list what you didn't accomplish. Have this list be the basis for your next day's to-do list. When you begin this process again tomorrow, you can prioritize what's on your list again and complete the most important activities. Get your projects under control!

Fighting Fires isn't Sexy

2008-08-25T12:20:00.005-04:00

For those of you with more on your to-do list than you have time to do, it could be quite difficult to decide which projects get your time and attention. Getting focused is the top challenge most super busy managers struggle with. I have learned so much about this problem first-hand dealing with it as I balance my roles as mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, and more with that of being an entrepreneur. I have now created and delivered a highly effective workshop "There's Too Much on my Plate" to help others manage their work more effectively rather than constantly fighting fires by handling the crises that come there way on a regular basis.

Some highly recommended and very effective techniques I teach about include:

1. Choose the RIGHT priorities

Here I refer to the 80:20 rule and apply it to managing your workload. Don't be so busy doing lots of the things that will detract you from doing the things that matter most. 80% is trivial but 20% is vital. Focus on your 20% with 80% of your time and energy. Work smarter! Focus the majority of your time and energy on activities that advance your overall goals and purpose. Anything else on your to-do list is likely a distraction!

2. Ask Yourself the RIGHT questions

Rather than asking about how you'll be able to get everything done, ask what steps will help you achieve your goals, how the activity or project ties into the bigger picture, when critical hand-offs need to occur and other such questions that more closely align with your goals and objectives.

3. Be in Control

Manage your day rather than reacting to other's needs and priorities and putting your own priorities on the back burner. Don't be fooled to believe that you'll be able to get to your stuff once you've gotten through everyone else's because that rarely, if ever really happens. Learn to negotiate and ask better questions, to push back, and to set clear boundaries.

Fighting someone else's fires places your time and energy with them. When someone needs your help and tries to make their priority your priority, remember that by reacting you are giving up your power. Instead, if reasonable, politely let them know that you will gladly help them out later once you've finished your own work. Focus on your priorities first!

A Secret for Self Control

2008-08-24T09:10:00.004-04:00

Often, when I am presenting a workshop or keynote presentation or when I am working with individual coaching clients, a distinction comes up that immediately and more effectively helps everyone better manage their workload, stress level, and building healthier relationships. This distinction is respond vs. react.

When we react, we act impulsively; responding to a stimulus, often without thinking. However, when we respond, we pause, reflect, think about possible consequences to our actions, and choose a more favorable reply or action.

For example, Catherine's daughter spilled her milk by accident. Catherine's initial reaction was to yell and scream at her but when she paused she kept things in perspective and provided her daughter with some towels to clean up the mess without damaging words, threats, or accusations. Her daughter apologized, cleaned up the mess the best she could, and promised to be more careful the next time. In past situations, when Catherine yelled and screamed, her daughter cried, the situation escalated and Catherine said many things she later regretted. Catherine ended up sending her daughter to her room while Catherine cleaned up the spilt milk on her own.

In another situation, Bill (who was already overloaded with projects at work) was given yet another project with a tight deadline. Although he normally reacted by taking on the project and walking away angry and frustrated and then working round the clock to get things done, instead he chose to respond and ask more questions about the project and where it fit in with everything else he was already doing. His boss helped him prioritize this new project with everything else already on his plate. He gave some of the more menial tasks to someone else so that he could concentrate on the higher level skills needed to get the project moving. They negotiated the timeline and made it more reasonable.

Reacting to a situation vs. responding...you choose what works for you! Practice responding to experience this higher level of self control.

Email Overload

2008-08-23T10:10:00.006-04:00

Business people are plagued with numerous distractions at work. We deal with email, the internet, phone calls, unexpected meetings, unorganized and cluttered work spaces, changing priorities, annoying cell phones, pagers, PDAs, and constant interruptions. Senior executives and managers report that the biggest distractions are the crisis of the moment and e-mail.

To better manage all of these crazy distractions at work, people are arriving at work earlier, staying later, closing their doors more often, and setting clear boundaries. However, email continues to be a growing problem for just about everyone. The email overload can come from both inside and outside the organization, including customers, colleagues, superiors, family members, lists, and spam. There has been an explosion of e-mail in offices across the country, and not all of it is spam. Answering 50 or 100 e-mails a day -- or just wading through them -- can disrupt workflow and cost money. Get some real useful tips for managing your email better from Marilyn Paul, Business expert and author of "It's Hard to Make a Difference when you can't Find your Keys".

The real issue is the perception and beliefs that people have. Why do people believe that they "have to" be available 24 hours a day? Why do they "have to" be involved in all the details of every project? Why do we "have to" attend so many meetings?

Reassess the "have to's" and "should's" and you may make different decisions!

Manage self not Time

2008-08-22T14:36:00.004-04:00

For years I've been hearing about Time Management. However, time is elusive and really can't be managed. Instead, manage yourself. The real key is that effective self managers define their priorities and schedule activities, they don't manage the clock as there are only 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week. If you manage it, it will not grow or accumulate, so you really must manage how you use time, manage your work, and control your actions.

The trap that most super busy people fall into is believing that he/she can do it all. You might be able to do it all, but perhaps not at the same time or not with the same focus, tenacity or results. Everything doesn't deserve equal time or attention. Therefore, you really must make conscious decisions about what's really most important. Multi-tasking has been proven ineffective in numerous studies, so make choices and focus on the most important tasks first.

Time is a precious commodity. However, many people waste valuable time getting stuck in one or more of the following habits:

Being a Perfectionist: Believing that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This belief is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities.

Procrastinating: Putting off, avoiding or deferring actions or tasks to a later time.

Crises Management: Reacting to threats, elements of surprise and urgencies but having no time for the routine matters that might be more important.

Being Unfocused: Lack of concentration on a particular task or activity which is evident usually by switching, floundering or multi-tasking.

Allowing Interruptions: Distractions and interruptions are costly to individual performance and the bottom-line. In fact, unnecessary interruptions consume about 28 percent of the knowledge worker's day, which translates to 28 billion lost hours to companies in the United States alone ("The Cost of Not Paying Attention: How Interruptions Impact Knowledge Worker Productivity," Jonathan B. Spira and Joshua B. Feintuch, Basex, 2005). At an average cost per hour of $21 (U.S. Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics June 2005), that costs U.S. companies $588 billion per annum.

Emotional Blocks: Boredom, daydreaming, stress, guilt, anger and frustration all reduce concentration.

Preferential Treatment?

2008-05-16T07:22:00.005-04:00

According to Elizabeth at the Career and Kids blog
http://www.careerandkids.com/do-working-mothers-get-a-pass-on-working-late/

In the workplace, it’s often perceived that parents, especially mothers, get preferential treatment when it comes to working late or overtime. However, a recent survey by Adecco USA Workplace finds that working moms are just as likely as non-parents to work late:

The latest Adecco USA Workplace Insight survey, conducted in recognition of Mother’s Day, found that working moms (71%) are just as likely as non-parents (73%) to work late and respond to e-mails after hours, even though one-third of all workers (32%) would be less inclined to ask a working parent (male or female) to do so. Further, even though they’re willing to burn the midnight oil with the rest of their colleagues, nearly half of moms (49%) think their companies should do more to help them achieve better work/life balance.

For more information, check out this press release!

What are your thoughts? What are your personal experiences?

Working Parents

2008-03-03T20:31:00.003-05:00

I visited the Fox Studios in NY earlier today to tape 2 segments for FoxBusiness.com. Although we had an appointment for studio time at 11:15, we were not able to tape until later that afternoon because someone had mis-communicated. (Has anything like this ever happened to you??)

Anyway, I was interviewed about tips for working parents for one segment and how to set better boundaries at work for the other. Anna Gilligan, the host was a pleasure to work with although not personally able understand the issues facing working parents every day, beings she's not a parent herself. Many of the tips shared in this type of format are general and non-specific because it's reaching a varied audience. When you read Succeeding as a
Super Busy Parent you can select the tips that apply to you and incorporate them into your life. Sometimes we get so busy that we forget the practical and sometimes simple things you could be doing to beat this challenge. You can check out the show at http://www.foxbusiness.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralPlaylistId=5fd543b8ce7fcb5cee5c4eaecd94e0a73b33a327.

If this doesn't work, go to the FoxBusiness.com site and scroll down to the gold box on the left-hand side that says Fast Track (Download Podcast/ Watch Now). Click Watch now and scroll down to select the March 10 video on Working Parents.

Generational Differences at Work

2008-02-29T16:18:00.002-05:00

I conducted a series of three presentations: Effective Time Management, Balancing Work and Personal Life & Communication Skills seminars for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. They were a great group of people! The audience was mixed, mostly women between 20's-60's. The issues were clearly different.

To help them better understand the uniquenesses of the generations, I had them break into groups and list the strengths and weaknesses they see in their generation. We brainstormed these lists, allowing other generations to add to the lists for the each group...Traditionalists (born between 1920-1945); Baby Boomers (born between 1946-1964); Generation X (born between 1965 - 1981); and, Generation Y (born between 1982-2000). Then, we added some strategies for communicating better with people from different generations in the workplace.

Understanding differences and discussing them brought a rich appreciation that will help interactions both at work and home. Don't be too busy to appreciate the strengths others around you bring to the workplace. Appreciate the wisdom and experience the traditionalists normally bring and the tech savvy-ness of Generation Y. Together every generation can learn from each other and build stronger relationships.

What can you appreciate more about someone in your life from a different generation?

Unexpected Occurences

2008-02-18T13:04:00.002-05:00

My son broke his right wrist on Friday when we went skiing/snow-boarding beings they had the day off for a teacher's in-service day. So, not unlike any of you who are also Super Busy Parents, I needed to rearrange my schedule so that I could get my son to the doctor on Tuesday.

As working parents we are often faced with the challenge of taking care of our personal/family life when we have commitments at work. Fortunately, I have made the choice 11 years ago to have my own business. This gives me extra flexibility but sacrifices the steady income and benefits I was receiving in the corporate world. I was able to re-arrange my individual coaching clients, participate in a meeting via conference call, and still attend a meeting I was scheduled to attend that evening. I called in my support network!

Building a strong support network is important for any working parents success, especially the Super Busy Parent! Having a support network allows you the option to call upon people and resources as needed. I phoned the Orthopedist's office from the ski lodge to get their recommendations as to our best course of action for my son's wrist, I called the Pediatrician to let her know what happened and get whatever referrals I'd need to get him the appropriate care in a timely fashion (here in America President's weekend is a holiday weekend and most businesses are closed for President's Day on Monday!), we called my daughter's friend's mother to inform her we were on our way home (and she offered to take the girls as soon as we arrived), we called my mother-in-law to have her let out the dog beings we didn't know how long we'd be detained at the hospital, and over the weekend I called/emailed my clients to reschedule appointments.

Communication and a support network are crucial. So is keeping things organized so that you have what you need when you need it. Anticipating what you think you might need, may also save an extra trip (I got a copy of the xray while I was at the hospital this time and it saved me a trip back!)

How can you be better prepared for the unexpected??

Sleep Deprived??

2008-02-13T15:35:00.004-05:00

What an experience!! I met Charles Osgood from CBS Sunday Morning news today when we taped a segment set to air on Sunday March 9th about sleep deprivation. We filmed the segment here in my office and home. They will also interview some sleep experts and a client of mine who certainly lives a very busy life.

The piece centers around the fact that people today are so busy they often fail to take time for adequate sleep. Many of my clients, friends and family survive on too few hours of sleep. This doesn't normally effect them immediately, but eventually they experience grogginess; may fall asleep driving, at work, or while watching TV at home with their family; find themselves losing patience and becoming less effective in their numerous roles.

If you are one of the millions who don't get the sleep they need. What are you doing instead? Are you bringing home piles of work, catching up on bills, cleaning the house, surfing the Internet, taking care of a new puppy, or something else? Are these activities really more important than your health and well-being?

Do you have a real sleep disorder, such as sleep apnea, that really needs to be addressed?

Here's a challenge for you if you frequently get inadequate sleep...

choose 1 night this week to commit to getting a good night's sleep. On that night, bring no work home, turn off the phone and TV, have someone else take care of the kids or pets, etc. and focus on getting a good night's sleep.

You can do it! It starts with realizing that your habits are not working for you any longer. Then it takes your conscious effort to change that habit. Start with 1 day, then make it once per week over at least the next month. Once you have a regular pattern, add another day.

Realize there's always something else you can be doing...but your sleep is of critical importance!

Increasing Productivity

2008-02-05T09:30:00.002-05:00

I conducted a presentation at Realogy Corporation for CIGNA Behavioral Healthcare yesterday. I've presented there in the past numerous times. Their work environment is not unlike many corporate environments today. Employees are under lots of pressure to complete increasing workloads with decreasing staff. Many employees who would benefit the most from participating in these lunch-and-learn programs, never have the time to even get there. Often, those who would gain the most benefit from a lesson are too busy working to engage in the learing opportunity. Instead they stay glued to their desk. They rarely take time out to chat, eat, exercise, or even to go to the bathroom. Is this what drives productivity at the work place??

I'd say NO! In order for employees to best at their best, they really need to take care of themselves. Worker harder and harder is not the answer. Instead, find ways to work smarter. Working 24/7 does not lead to higher productivity instead it leads to poorer quality, resentment, frustration, and anger.

What ways can you work smarter rather than harder? What boundaries do you need to set in place to honor your own personal needs?

Seize the Day!

2008-01-20T12:14:00.005-05:00

In last week's e-newsletter, Coach Natalie encourages readers to "stop waiting for someday to come to start enjoying your life to the fullest".

Too often people think the they'll be happy when "they win the lottery", "find Mr. Right" "lose 30 pounds", or "get a promotion". Unfortunately, this thinking doesn't allow you to truly enjoy the here and now. Waiting until someday (that may never come) to be happy blocks much of the happiness and joy you could be experiencing in the present. For example, paying off a credit card bill or enjoying time with your girlfriends let's you more fully enjoy the reality of where you are. Limit spending and enjoy shopping wisely. Enjoy the freedom of not being strapped down.

Shifting your perspective helps you look at your current situation in new ways. Having a positive attitude about what is allows the possibility for more joy. Cherish everything in your day that contributes to your happiness, whether it's your child's smile; completing an assignment at work on time; getting to work without traffic; having friends and family who love you.

To receive our FREE e-newsletter, "Success Tips for Super Busy Parents" simply send a blank message to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Twice monthly you'll recieve a tip to help create more balance and success in your personal and work life.

Secrets of the Happiest and Most Successful

2008-01-17T11:51:00.004-05:00

Did you know...a new survey by American Express and Best Life Magazine reported that men increasingly are defining success by their family's health and happiness, work/life balance, and time they spend having fun. Overall, the survey, conducted by the Harrison Group, found that:

* Only 10 percent of affluent men in America consider themselves both happy and very successful.

* The other 90 percent feel they have reached some levels of success and happiness but are still striving to make gains in their personal lives and careers to reach the same top level of life satisfaction.

* Nearly all of the men (95 percent) believe that to be successful, a man must achieve work/life balance.

* Only one out of four men will take a sick day to enjoy their personal interests.

Best Life Magazine (the fastest-growing men's magazine in the country and the very first men's magazine to provide topical and compelling editorial that addresses family, marriage and fatherhood)also outlines the secrets of the 10 percent of men who are extremely happy and super successful. Some characteristics that set them apart: The ability to have fun, having clearly defined goals and navigating change well.

I'm curious...what do you think of these results? Do they ring true for you?

Kathy goes from good to great

2008-01-07T11:42:00.000-05:00

Kathy has been dissatisfied with her marriage for quite some time. She and her husband unsuccessfully had counseling last year. Although it's pretty scary for her, Kathy has filed for a divorce, put the house up for sale, and is looking for a new job. She is going from (not so) good to (hopefully very) great. How about you?