Reverse Negative Self-Talk

Who has time in their super busy life to get in their own way?!?!

Well, what you say to yourself radically effects the quality of your life, and your ability to do things effectively. This self-talk is your internal dialog---the words and phrases you use when you talk to yourself and think about things. Your self-talk reflects and creates your emotional states. It can cause you to feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. When you use words like "impossible", "never", "always", "more problems," and "I can't" it de-motivates you and influences your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships with yourself and others. It can adversely affect your health.

Fortunately, I've experienced how changing the patterns of self-talk can provide more positive alternatives. In one example, I was working with a group of moms during a coaching program we called, "Maximizing Motherhood". I noticed that many of them quite frequently put themselves down. When I shared this observation, the moms chose to commit to alleviating this habit. So, over the course of the program they put a dollar in the jar to represent each time they used negative self-talk. This helped create an awareness of it and provided a forum to discuss it and practice more positive alternatives. They became very good at observing themselves and catching themselves in this negative pattern.

Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say. Look at the difference, and start talking to yourself in constructive ways, if you don't already.

Negative Self Talk

When negative people explain bad things, they internalize them ("I'm so stupid/clumsy/fogetful."), consider them permanent ("It'll never happen."), and generalize ("Life sucks...it's too super busy."). When they explain good things, they externalize them ("I just happened to be in the right place at the right time."), consider them temporary ("That went well TODAY."), and see them only in a specific context ("At least THIS went right.").

Positive Self Talk

When positive people explain bad things, they externalize them ("The weather caused it."), consider them temporary ("That was a rough couple hours."), and see them as isolated ("THAT part of the plan didn't work, but..."). When they explain good things, they internalize them ("Life is great!"), consider them to be more or less permanent changes ("Now I know how to do this."), and generalize from them ("Things are working out well.").

Become more aware of your thoughts and what you say to yourself. Catch yourself when you say negative comments and reverse that negative self-talk. Break the pattern and you'll feel so much better about yourself!

Try this...it really works.

Best regards,

Coach Natalie