Un-Turbo Charge from Your Super Busy Life

August is the number one month for vacations, but I haven't vacationed in August because I prefer to avoid crowds! This year our kids had the first week of November off from school and we took advantage of it. We spent a week at the beautiful islands of Turks and Caicos at the Beaches Family Resort. We had a 'real' vacation and as a result we came back relaxed and rejuvenated.

In this day in age, it’s nearly impossible to fully escape. I’d say that over 70% of your day is spent with your phone or computer. Whether or not your are using it, its there. You are thinking about it. Thinking about who might call you or text message you. And because you are thinking about it, you happen to break it out and read the news, send someone a message because your bored or worried about something, check Facebook, or surf the Net.

If you are planning a vacation, do yourself a favor and leave the work at home. You need to separate yourself from work if you are going to benefit from relaxing. Spending a week away from the office without my cell phone or laptop has truly given me the break I needed. Beings my husband couldn't totally unplug, he brought along his laptop and checked in briefly just a couple of times a day. Having the laptop nearby gave me the opportunity to keep clearing out the junk in my inbox so that I could concentrate on the important items left in my email once I returned.

I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband although my kids ditched us to hang out with some new friends they met at the resort.
Everyone needs a little R&R from time-to-time. Whether you plan just a few hours away or a couple of days, weeks or more, taking a break will help you re-focus while reconnecting with yourself and your loved ones.

Vacations are also good for a number of other reasons, too:

•Encourage Creativity: A good vacation can help you to reconnect with yourself and promote your creativity.

•Help Prevent Burnout: Workers who take time to relax away from the office are less prone to experience burnout, making you more productive than your overworked, under-rested counterparts. Vacations increase your quality of work and life.

•Can Help keep you Healthy: A relaxing vacation decreases stress and increases your health and well-being.

•Can Strengthen Relationships: Spending time enjoying life with loved ones can keep relationships strong, helping you enjoy the good times more and helping you through the stress of the hard times. Likewise, spending time vacationing apart may also help strengthen relationships, too!

Enjoy life and your vacation on the beach or ski slopes, visiting museums, sightseeing, or simply relaxing in your own home or somewhere else, whatever you desire. Simply free your mind from the boundaries and pressure of your work while you can, and take advantage of what this world has to offer, before you realize its too late. In the long run it may prove to be a very advantageous way to spend your time.

The bottom line is that taking a some time away from the stresses of every day daily life can give you the break you need and deserve so that we can return to your regular life refreshed and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Too Much On Her Plate Week: Prepare to Celebrate!

I was very surprised to see another professional specializing in helping busy women manage everything on their plate! I came across Melissa McCreery's site quite by accident. Melissa is a psychologist and an internationally certified life coach who is passionate about providing high quality solutions to smart, busy women who are tired of struggling with food and weight.

Melissa created "Too Much on Her Plate Week" (which aptly runs the week of her birthday!) from October 19-23 so that women can learn to get stuff off their plate, both literally and figuratively.

"Too Much on Her Plate Week calls attention to the more than 150 million professional women who are either employed by a business or as an independent professional in the United States. These women are often moms too, creating limited time and a lot of plate spinning (and juggling). The pressure to get it all done contributes further to many women’s struggles with weight and food."

In celebration of Too Much on Her Plate Week, Melissa is encouraging women to:

1. Carve out some time for yourself. The biggest mistake busy women make is not taking some time for self-care. Most often, it’s not that a professional woman can’t have it. It’s that they aren’t choosing to take it. Prioritize yourself.

2. Have a plan for eating and exercise. We tend to be great planners for the most part. Apply those skills to yourself and plan your meals and time for exercise.

3. Pay attention. Emotional eating – especially stress eating, often sneaks up on women. Pay attention to those times when you want something to eat and ask why.

I plan on calling Melissa and introducing myself! I can't imagine how many women we can help together!!

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

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Visit my BLOG - Full Plate at www.mypath.com and check out the other great career resources

Increasing Workload Issues

I presented another "Too Much on my Plate" program yesterday for a corporate client.

Although most of the people in my audiences feel an intense pressure and overwhelm with the expectations placed on them at work, this audience seemed to suffer even more!

There was a field sales person who expressed his frustration with his work being driven down from higher level managers rather than customers or his own self-management of his client-base. He also has absolutely no support team at work to rely on or delegate work to.

This man sounded like he has star performer potential but yet the company with its bureaucracy and lean workforce, prohibits him from fully achieving his best.

All over, I hear similar concerns! Employees really want to do their best. They want to exceed customer expectations. They want to deliver on-time with high-quality results. Yet, even though many work an extended work week, including nights, weekends and vacation, there isn't enough time to accomplish everything that's expected. There's never any down time...any critical thinking time...any time for innovation...problem-solving...or even self-care.

Don't companies realize the potential cost to them? When the economy recovers, employees will seek out other more reasonable options. Companies are already faced with increasing health-care costs, lower quality products and services, poor relationships and teamwork, and more!

It's time to start respecting employees and for employees to start respecting themselves.

Effectively Saying "NO"

In all the years I've been operating my own business (since 1997) one thing that's been a consistent challenge for my coaching clients and audiences is saying no. I recently presented an updated program on Boundary-Setting and, of course, once again we tackled the issues around saying no. As a result, I've revised an article I was working on so that I can share it with audience members. Here I share part of it with you. If you'd like the complete article, please email me at natalie@theprioritypro.com and ask for the "Saying No" article.

Saying "no" enables you to say "yes" to what matters most in your life.

“No” is one the most powerful two-letter words in the English language! However, saying “no” doesn’t come naturally for most people. We are conditioned to say “yes”, be agreeable and easy to work with.

If you’re one of those people who normally says “yes” when asked to do something or take responsibility for a new work project, sit on another school or church committee, become scout leader, be the baseball coach, or bake cookies for the local fundraiser or anything that will likely require more time than you realistically have available, than you need to first understand why you are prone to say yes so quickly and then learn more effective ways to say no.

We typically say yes because we:
...are afraid to say no;
...want to be liked;
...need to feel accepted;
...desire to please others;
...don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings;
...feel guilty when we say no;
...believe we can “do it all”.

If any of the reasons above describe you, saying no will undoubtedly make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate. There may be other reasons in addition to those listed, so be sure to recognize what prompts you to say yes, or avoid saying no. When you begin feeling totally overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful, and taken advantage of your attitude and productivity will likely suffer. If your life is overrun with responsibilities, jobs and commitments there’s little time left for your own tasks, fun and relaxation. One way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying no to new commitments.

If you want more than ten super techniques to help you say no, remember to email me at natalie@theprioritypro.com!

Saying no helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important. Even though it may be difficult, at some point you need to stand your own ground and look out for yourself, because no one else is going to look out for you if you don't! Regardless of why you choose to say no, the keys to declining requests include:
+ maintain eye contact;
+ be firm, honest direct and convincing;
+ keep your explanation simple and succinct;
+ use a sympathetic but firm tone;
+ repeat your statement, change the subject or walk away, if necessary;
+ and, avoid making excuses (especially lengthy ones!).

Women's Health & Fitness

Today is national Women’s Health & Fitness Day! It's the largest annual health promotion event for women of all ages. This unique national program — with participation by local organizations throughout the U.S. — focuses attention on the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women.

More than 1,000 groups across the country will host women’s health and fitness events at senior centers, hospitals, health clubs, park and recreation districts, local health and service organizations, schools, retirement communities, houses of worship, and other community locations today and also on the last Wednesday of every September to come. An estimated 40,000 to 50,000 women are expected to participate in these local activities.

Whether or not there's a local event, do something for your health and fitness today! If life is too busy, click over to my website for a free article Top 10 Ways to Fit Fitness into Your 'Too'-Busy Schedule.

Any activity, including walking, exercising, a health screening,
or even attending a health information workshop counts today! The goal of this special day is to encourage women to take control of their health: to learn the facts they need to make smart health choices, and to make time for regular physical activity. Don't hesitate...do something now!

Energize!!

Today is ENERGIZE day! What a great day!!

I heard about energize day on the CBS morning news. It is acknowledged on the first day of fall. On this day you are encouraged to do something for your inner self.

Some examples: a bubble bath, reading, meditating, journaling, praying

I'd like to broaden this to what you can also to for your outer self, as well.

What can you do today to eNeRGize yourself???

Some examples shared at a presentation I gave yesterday for the PSG Career Network in Somerville, NJ include: running, cooking, strength training, helping others, hobbies, volunteering, animal welfare, music, cooking, dancing, painting, hiking, etc.

Visit my website: http://www.nrgcoaching.com/resources/articles.html and view the article I wrote some time ago about the Top 10 Positive Sources of Energy. This will give you some ideas of where to get started.

Send for your free report: The Top 10 Ways to Nourish Yourself by sending a blank email to natalie@theprioritypro.com with Nourish Yourself report in the subject line.

Set Better Boundaries

At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.

Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it's much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.

Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.

Reduce Mental Draining Stress

Chances are that if you are reading this Blog, you have too much on your plate. Your 'to-do' list is likely several pages long and your plate is over-flowing with activities and responsibilities, many that you didn't even put there yourself. Often, you may feel like your mind is going to explode because you have so many things stored in it that you must remember.

When I meet with clients who are feeling this way, they tell me that they feel like they can't get anything done even though they're trying their best. They express feelings of inadequacy, overwhelm, stress and frustration. They feel scattered!

Although these clients usually have a to-do list, they also keep a running list of all the things they have to do in their minds. This is the primary cause of mental stress! My clients expend a lot of energy worrying about these things, even though 87% of what we worry about either never happens or is totally out of our control anyway!

Studies indicate that when we pay attention to a piece of information, it enters our short-term memory. Typically we can only hold 5-9 pieces of simple information in our short-term memory. If this information is not acted on or encoded it goes away. Therefore, to keep information available we need to get it into our working memory. Working memory is like a vehicle that transports information from short-term into long-term memory. Working memory will transport something that fits into an existing memory, much like a filing cabinet storing data.

Once you get information into your long-term memory, you’ve made progress, but then you have to get it out. Working memory files information into long-term memory. These files are not easily accessed—-we often need reminders. And it’s easier and more efficient to recognize something than to try to recall it from scratch.

The important key to reducing the stress of forgetting things or not being able to recall them is to have a system for organizing material as it comes at you and then being able to take action. Neither system will operate effectively if left in your head though. You need to get this out of your head and into easily accessible files on your computer or in a series of reminders for action in your daily management system (e.g., MS Outlook). You can reduce mental draining stress by de-cluttering your mind.

School Involvement

This week's e-newsletter, "Success Tips for SuperBusy Parents" is about getting involved in your child's school. My children are now in 7th and 10th grade. I find that my opportunities for involvement have changed throughout their school years.

When my children were in elementary school, I could volunteer as class parent or for special projects or field trips (which I did). After jumping in with two feet, I pulled back from some of my initial involvement because I found it draining my energy and taking valuable time away from my family. Instead, I chose to limit my involvement to those activiites where I could have direct interaction rather than behind-the-scenes support. I got to know other parents, teachers and the Principal.

As my children got older, they wanted less of me at the school. So, I volunteered to help with publicity and fundraising (as long as it didn't pull me away from family time!). Last year, when my daughter asked me to chaperone a trip, I changed my appointments at work so that I could take advantage of this limited opportunity. It was one of the best decisions I made! Besides spending time with my daughter, I enjoyed spending time with her friends and visiting the Philadelphia Zoo. I also appreciated the opportunity to meet the other chaperones, especially a dad who is the President of a mid-level company who was there at the request of his son.

You never know what joys you'll get from your school involvement! Choose wisely and volunteer when you can. Don't be too busy to enjoy some of the best pleasures life has to offer! I'm already hoping my daughter requests me to chaperone the overnight trip at the end of 8th grade!!

Untie from Technology

Those who are tied to their technology so that they can respond immediately to anyone reaching out to them need to better understand what this behavior is costing them...

Are you someone who almost always immediately replies to every phone call, text message or email so that you can demonstrate just how committed you are to your work and family? Do you often provide an immediate response for work-related items while getting around to family, friends and personal matters when you have the chance? Or, do you respond immediately to your family while putting off work-related contacts?

Having the habit of responding immediately, whether for everyone, or for just work or personal matters is unhealthy. Many are fooled to believe that when they respond immediately to work-related matters they are demonstrating their commitment to their job. However, are they? And, does this level of availability really measure true commitment?

Commitment is not synonymous with being constantly available! Operating as if it is contributes to higher stress levels and lower life satisfaction levels. Subscribe to our free e-newsletter by sending a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogoups.com to learn more about this and gain some valuable tips.

The advances in modern technology have created a common distorted view of expectations. Commitment to your job in too many cases has become equated with being constantly available. However, just because you can be constantly accessible and responsive doesn’t necessarily mean you should be available 24/7.

How can I carve out some "me" time?

I went back through some expert contributions I've made at some other sites and found this still relevant question from a mom who is challenged carving out some time for herself. Every SuperBusy Parent needs to understand the importance of "me" time and of sharing the responsibilities at home so that both partners have some valuable time for themselves. Feel free to add your comments at www.momtourage.com.

How can I carve out some me-time?

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Also, read our latest e-newsletter for tips about getting solo time.

Leadership and Communication blunders

Here's a great post from my colleague, Thomas Lee about worker engagement. He redefines
the engagement of a workforce as a culture with a high and ever-rising tide of focus, curiosity, passion and courage. Imagine the impact that it could have on productivity and achievement of goals!!

span style="color: lightsalmon;"Minding Gaps/span

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Improve your Sex Life!

With just about everyone having too much on their plate these days, we all have Obsessive Distraction Disorder (O.D.D.). Distractions pull us away from what we say is important to us.

As I was getting dressed on Saturday morning, I caught a short segment on the CBS Early Morning show featuring Dr. Jenn Berman, a well-known Psychotherapist. The piece was about putting sex back in your marriage (something many are too distracted to do!)

Dr. Jenn Berman shared 5 keys to "Getting Heat Back Between Those Sheets". These tips closely align with the need to Assess what's on your plate; Integrate with what matters most; and Maintain the Alignment going forward. One of the key problems is that we are exhausted and over-stressed because we over-schedule our lives. This effects our ability and desire to be intimate in the bedroom. To better balance, say "No" more often so that you have more time, energy and interest to say "Yes" to your relationship. Ultimately everytime you say "yes" to something you are indeed saying "no" to something else. Be aware of this so that you can pace yourself and avoid tapping out your energy before you get to your partner.

She also mentioned the importance of communicating without placing blame. Personally, I've found that something I learned when watching my wedding video 19 years ago and listening to a toast by our Uncle Steve..."Your marriage needs two important things to thrive and they can be summed up with the initials P U. You need patience and understanding." I've lived by this and also treat my husband and our relationship with the utmost respect that it deserves.

For a marriage to succeed in these times when everyone seems to have too much on their plate, it takes conscious effort! Other tips from Dr. Jenn Berman may be viewed at the video online at: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/15/earlyshow/saturday/main5244010.shtml?tag=cbsnewsSectionsArea.9 .


Watch CBS Videos Online

Be a Super Hero!

I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I've got to admit, I really enjoyed it!

My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he'd never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn't wait to get back into it. He's determined and tenacious!

So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it's easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).

The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn't get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn't very crowded at the track.

I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son's eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He's already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I'm certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)

I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son's eyes.

In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter's eyes? If so, what are you waiting for...push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero..."It is definitely worth it!!"

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here's the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

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NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women

At "The Glass Hammer", an online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and business I came across this article about the Top Ten Companies for Executive Women.

The Glass Hammer explores issues that matter to executive women and provides an opportunity to share experiences and network.

Here's the article:
NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women

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Too much on Your Plate?

I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, "There's too much on my Plate". The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.

What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people's lives.

Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.

This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!

Minding the Gaps

Thomas Lee is an authority on leadership and communication for organizational change and engagement in the workplace. He is a member of my Mastermind group and a highly sought out expert in the field of leadership development. Check out his post about the importance of focusing on the strategic imperatives of the business! While there, become a subscriber and automatically receive his regular posts to help close the gap between your potential and the reality of your leadership.


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Minding the Gaps

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Procrastination Busters

Prune your to-do list of the non-essential items you know you'll never do.
For that must-do task you've been putting off, just do it - ideally, the first thing in the morning. This frees your mental energy - often, not-doing something drains you more than doing it.

Identify a part of the disliked task that's fairly pleasant - such as calling a colleague for information - and do that first, to get your feet wet. Or make a list of the various steps involved.

Schedule hunks of time to tackle work that requires concentration. Actually make an appointment with yourself. Let voice mail pick up your calls. You'll make a lot of headway in a short time.

If the task is really objectionable, promise yourself you'll tackle it just for 10 minutes, then if it's killing you, you can stop. You may find it's not so bad and can easily keep going until finished..

If you want to avoid being distracted by email or the internet, put your computer behind you. You'll have to swivel around in your chair to check your email for the umpteenth time, or to Google something you're only mildly curious about. Going to the computer will now be a conscious decision.

Avoid the temptation to shift from one half-finished task to another. This task-hopping is a form of stealth procrastination that many of us do without knowing it.

For digitally managing tasks with sub-tasks, watch for our upcoming article "Use Outlook to Keep Track of Multi-Part Tasks" in the next issue of this eLetter.

Some of the best procrastination advice is from Alan Lakein - pre-tech era, but still excellent.

Reprinted with permission from Jan Jasper. (c) Jan Jasper 2009. www.janjasper.com. Jan Jasper is author of Take Back Your Time: How to Regain Control of Work, Information, and Technology, published by St. Martin's Press.