Feed Your Needs

I've been working on uncovering, assessing, and meeting my needs. This has been a long process in my journey of self-discovery. I'm working it in the foreground and in the background at different points in my life. As I've identified one need and addressed it, I've been able to get to deeper levels.

At times this work has been very challenging. Sometimes I didn't like what I was learning about myself or my needs,but I stuck with it because I desire having my needs met in effortless ways. I don't want my needs driving my life.

For those who might be reading this with confusion about what I'm referencing, let me explain. I'm not referring to your basic needs for food, shelter, or safety but to your personal needs that are internally based conditions that must be minimally satisfied for you to feel balanced and fulfilled. Those needs are satisfiable but they will dominate your life until they're met.

For instance, I had a client with a need to please others. When we dug deeper, it was really more about needing to feel loved and accepted. Unfortunately, she was meeting this need by saying yes to everyone (except for herself). She very rarely said no and when she did she felt guilty and badly. Until we actually explored her needs and how they were driving her, she was simply unaware. Once her awareness grew, she was open to finding more effective ways to get that need met because she recognized what it was costing her emotionally, mentally, and physically.

In exploring needs, it's important to understand that it's a process. You can arrange to work with a professional coach, a trusted friend, or to explore it on your own.

Hopefully, what you'll uncover (as I have and so many of my clients have, too!) is a recognition of what needs drive you, how they drive you in effective and ineffective ways, how you can satisfy this need in effortless ways, and who or what can help you. Once needs are satisfied, they will not be controlling your life and you can more freely live your life based on what you value most.