Managing the Homefront in your Super Busy life

I've been coming across more and more women who have husbands who have left the work force to be home with the kids. For some, this is the perfect solution. This tends to work real well when there are more career opportunities and ambition by the woman but a desire to have the children primarily cared for by their parents.

What I find happens in some cases is sort of a disconnect. There's somewhat of a role reversal to the former traditional model of the father as the bread-winner for the family. This may create feelings of resentment, jealousy, frustration on the negative side or feelings of appreciation, support, encouragement on the positive side. Neither feelings are right or wrong.

The problem comes when these feelings are not discussed honestly and openly. Someone feeling negatively really needs to be heard. Otherwise, this may adversely effect the relationship, and ultimately the family unit.

Many of the women I know who are the bread-winners of their family tend to be controlling. Not necessarily a 'control-freak' or not necessarily consciously but by default. Husbands in the role of a stay-at-home dad may relinquish their role and behave in a subservient manner. The frustration for women comes when they not only work long hours in their career but are also expected to oversee or manage the household despite having someone capable at home.

I don't think there are any quick solutions but a need for constant communication. Both parents need to be clear about their roles and contributions to the family unit. They need to be in touch with their feelings and recognize when they're not feeling good about something; then address it without placing blame or judgment.

Beings this seems to be a growing area of interest and concern, I'd love to hear from those of you in this type of situation. Please email me to describe your situation as well as what's working and what's not. I'll continue updating a BLOG discussion on this topic as I hear from more of you.

Thanks,

Coach Natalie