School Involvement

This week's e-newsletter, "Success Tips for SuperBusy Parents" is about getting involved in your child's school. My children are now in 7th and 10th grade. I find that my opportunities for involvement have changed throughout their school years.

When my children were in elementary school, I could volunteer as class parent or for special projects or field trips (which I did). After jumping in with two feet, I pulled back from some of my initial involvement because I found it draining my energy and taking valuable time away from my family. Instead, I chose to limit my involvement to those activiites where I could have direct interaction rather than behind-the-scenes support. I got to know other parents, teachers and the Principal.

As my children got older, they wanted less of me at the school. So, I volunteered to help with publicity and fundraising (as long as it didn't pull me away from family time!). Last year, when my daughter asked me to chaperone a trip, I changed my appointments at work so that I could take advantage of this limited opportunity. It was one of the best decisions I made! Besides spending time with my daughter, I enjoyed spending time with her friends and visiting the Philadelphia Zoo. I also appreciated the opportunity to meet the other chaperones, especially a dad who is the President of a mid-level company who was there at the request of his son.

You never know what joys you'll get from your school involvement! Choose wisely and volunteer when you can. Don't be too busy to enjoy some of the best pleasures life has to offer! I'm already hoping my daughter requests me to chaperone the overnight trip at the end of 8th grade!!

Defraying Stress

The Top Ten Ways Working Parents Can Defray Stress

By Natalie Gahrmann, The Priority Pro

Between work demands, caring for your children, and seeing to everyday matters and responsibilities there is little time left to take care of yourself. So, many working parents put off time for their own needs and desires. However, you are a key influence on your child's development, so the amount of stress you are experiencing in your work, family and personal life has a direct impact on them. Here's some tips to help defray the stress and help you consciously take better care of yourself.

1. Breathe deeply

Bring in the air through your nose, deep down into your belly and out through your mouth in a slow relaxed fashion at least two-three times to help re-focus, re-center and relax.

2. Take in Relaxing Smells

Aromatherapy oils, herbal teas or scented candles are all relaxing to the olfactory system.

3. DAYDREAM, MEDITATE AND CONNECT WITH NATURE

Visit places and experience them newly. Or, give your mind a mental break by simply imagining you are somewhere else and creating a visual image and experience in your mind of being there. Either way, fully connect with your surroundings by noticing sounds, smells and textures. Relax your spirit and body using soothing music and warm lights.

4. Avoid Overextending Yourself

Stop saying "yes" too often to requests of your time, money, energy or other resources. Say "no" to things and people as a way of honoring you. Allow yourself a chance to think about the request before acepting the invitation. Bow out later if the commitment is contributing too greatly to your stress.

5. Eat Healthy Foods

Eat foods and drink beverages that nourish your body and soul.

6. Participate in a hobby or sport

Create an outlet for relaxation that you truly enjoy doing. Use your creativity to write, sculpt, knit, paint, etc. Use physical activities or daily exercise rituals to help "blow off" steam both physically and mentally.

7. lighten up

Smile, laugh and just be friendly to others. Friendliness goes far and helps you feel good about yourself. Humor lightens up tension. Notice how laughter is contagious, too. People are more naturally attracted to people who seem happy, positive, enthusiastic, and excited about life. Stop taking things so seriously all the time and lighten up a bit.

8. Enlist help from others

Learn to ask for and accept help (even when things are not done to your high standard level!) You will gain by delegating and allowing others to help, even when things don't turn out exactly as they would have if you completed the task yourself. Allow yourself to be nurtured by your friends and family.

9. Spend Quality Time with Your Children

Have fun and interact with your children. Be fully present with them. Truly listen to what they have to say and connect on a deeper level.

10. Get Romantic

Stimulate your body's release of endorphins by reading a romance novel, or better yet, curl up with your spouse/significant other or make love.

Making Time for What Matters Most

Unexpected emergencies are normally crises that can happen at any time. They arise often seemingly from out of nowhere. Once they are there, you are more or less forced to take time for something or someone that you had not planned.

Quite unconsciously, or perhaps even consciously, you decide that the emergency takes precedence over everything else at the moment, because the person or thing that emerged is more important to you than anything else on your plate at this moment.

Emergencies, such as this, can serve to help you put everything in your life back in perspective rather quickly. When a health emergency arises, either yours or someone else's, you immediately realize the importance of good health, wellness visits, and preventative care. Your perspective may shift to the importance of health, knowing that if you do not have your health, you may not have a productive or long life. Then, health becomes one of your top priorities.

When the emergency pertains to a relationship that is important to you, you recognize that the people you love and connections in your life, make your life worthwhile, so you take time out to take care of and nurture your relationships.

Making time for what matters most need not be relegated to emergencies. Imagine making time for your health, relationships and everything else that is vitally important to you, before an emergency strikes. Imagine taking excellent care of your physical body, your soul and those you love without being "forced" into it. Imagine sharing time, having real conversations, and being committed to understanding your loved ones or co-workers now - not just when emotions run high and things get a bit hairy or out of control.

Do yourself and your loved ones a huge favor and avoid an emergency by making time out of thin air today for what, and who, matters most to you. I am quite sure you will not regret this decision!

Make Romance a Priority

Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:

1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!

An Article about a Natural Approach to Gaining Better Focus

This article was forwarded to me from a friend. It is written by Dr. Rob for MSN Health & Fitness. This advice offers a method for improving your concentration that's not far different than what I've been sharing as an expert in helping people increase performance, productivity and satisfaction by decreasing distractions. To view the original article, links and find out more about the author, please follow this link.

Q: I am having difficulty staying focused on my job. I work at a high school and my environment is not library quiet and is often either too hot or too cold. I have many interruptions and can't seem to complete a task. Is there something natural to take that helps to stay focused?

A: Sounds like you are working in a very open, spontaneous and interactive environment. Needless to say, it would be hard for anybody to focus on a specific task while dealing with frequent interruptions.

That said, the most natural solution would be to enlist your administrator’s help in relocating to a more worker-friendly area of the office. Or you might rearrange your workday in a manner that schedules in specific times for student visits and phone conversations, plus do-not-disturb times dedicated to completing assigned tasks. Taking a pill, natural or otherwise, would not protect you from a highly distracting workplace environment.

When referring to a person’s ability to focus or concentrate, we imply that their thoughts are narrowly channeled toward what they are:

• Currently doing (playing, watching a movie, working on a job assignment).
• Intending to do (gathering information needed for a presentation).
• Wanting to complete (homework, project, others).

If thoughts, feelings or one’s environment disrupt the ability to complete tasks in a timely or mistake-free manner, there may be a problem with focus or concentration. More often than not, distractions are the main reasons for this concern. These can be grouped into two categories: Internal and External.

Internal distractions are driven by your own thoughts, emotions and physical well-being. For instance, have you ever tried to do homework on an empty stomach or when you were very tired? If so, you know it can be hard to concentrate. Other internal distractions include but aren’t limited to:

• Poor organizational ability.


• Impaired ability to read or understand (eye or hearing problem, dyslexia).


• Worry, anxiety or depression.


• Job dissatisfaction.


• Time of day (too early or too late).


• Medications or supplements (stimulants, fatigue-causing drugs, others).


• And lack of exercise.

Even though attention deficit disorder (with or without hyperactivity) can be a significant cause of internal distraction, I do not think that is contributing to your lack of focus. I say this because you did not mention having ADD/ADHD as a child, nor did you express problems with impulsivity (speaking before thinking, gambling problem, others), distractibility (cannot follow conversations, easily bored, others), or hyperactivity (constant talking, trouble sitting still, others).

External distractions are related to the environment. In regard to your workplace, there are lots of reasons for your inability to fully concentrate. These include:

• Noise.


• Constant interruption (telephone, student needs, co-workers).


• E-mail, inter-office mail, public address system announcements.


• Uncomfortable office air temperatures.

It is important to know that each and every one of us has a different temperament, coping mechanism for working in a busy environment and the ability to maintain focus amid a storm of chaos. We can only do our best while adapting to the situation at hand.
Robert Danoff's Top 10 strategies for helping you stay focused at work include:

• Prioritize tasks into what is important and urgent. Accomplish these first, then complete others in a timely manner.
• Ask for help. If you are constantly interrupted by phone calls or impromptu student visits, meet with your supervisor in order to provide a more organized structure.
• De-clutter your workspace, leaving only one project to be completed at a time.
• Noise cancellation devices, such as earplugs, may help improve your focus on the task at hand.
• Privacy. See if you can relocate to another area when your assignment requires attention without interruption.
• Temperature control. Ask the maintenance department to provide better regulation of the heating and cooling system in your office.
• Create solutions that will provide for a better work environment.
• Nurture yourself, and provide positive feedback with your accomplishments.
• Stop fighting the tide. Learn to accept and expect interruptions. Instead of getting frustrated, just go with the flow.
• Don’t look too far ahead. Step back, take a deep breath, smile and exhale. Now you’re ready for the task at hand!

Robert Danoff, D.O., M.S., is a family physician and program director of The Family Practice Residency, as well as the combined Family Practice/Emergency Medicine Residency programs at Frankford Hospitals, Jefferson Health System, Philadelphia, Pa. He is the medical correspondent for CN8, The Comcast Network, a regular contributor to Discovery Health Online and a contributing writer to The New York Times Special Features. (Read his full bio.)

© 2008 Microsoft

Meals in Minutes

In my latest e-newsletter, I shared a tip this week about planning quick and healthy meals. One of my readers who is a former client, shared anothe great idea with me.

"Last year, I was part of a moms group that prepared a frozen meal for each person in the group. It was good to get with them. Many of them had special needs kids. SO cooking is something they enjoyed. Plus they want health meals. I really miss the group. It was nice to have the meals already planned for the month. It was a really time saver too. There were 8 in the group . SO we met and decided what we were each will to cook. This took a whole day to prepare with shopping for the food. You need freeze. But you ended up with 8 meals for a serving of 8. I had them split my meals. So I ended up with 16 meals. Hope you understand this. But it was good for the season. Plus my cooking skills improved. Steve really enjoyed the variety. One lady loved to cook soups. Not something I did. Steve loved them. I have now learned how to cook a good soup."

You can subscribe to my bi-monthly e-newsletter FREE!! Simply send a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit my website and click the link there.

Have an idea to share, please add your comments or send your idea directly to me.

Is Sarah Palin ready to be the next VP?

Pretty much everywhere I go and in many of my phone conversations, women are talking about Sarah Palin's nomination to the VP spot on the Republican ticket. Never before have I heard so many diverse people voice their opinions and concerns about an election. Her election has provoked many conversations and reactions not only in the US, but around the world!

I was interviewed on News Radio 740 KTRH located in Houston, TX in a show that aired this past Monday. They inquired about my opinion regarding working mothers. So, I wonder, is the controversy about her election into the VP candidate position really about her experience, her family responsibilities, her views on the issues, her ability to perform the job duties, or perhaps, something else or a combination of sorts?

The question I keep hearing is "What is a woman with five children, including an infant with Downs Syndrome, doing seeking the Vice Presidency of the United States?"

My initial reaction is that if this were a man (and many men have had families while holding high public office!) it would not be discussed as an issue. In an election year where Hillary Clinton nearly became the first Presidential candidate women have been more involved emotionally and mentally from the onset of this campaign.

I've heard this issue characterized as a gender bias issue and also sexist. I've heard people across the country question whether a mother of five would have a hard time fulfilling the duties of the second highest office in the country. I've also heard people question her commitment to her family and what's in the best interest of her children.

The real issues should be about whether or not any candidate can fulfill the oath of their position. Do they have the experience, knowledge, resources to handle their job responsibilities? Will their be conflicting demands and priorities that might interfere with the duties of the position? If so, how will they be handled? What if she became pregnant again while in office?

Women have successfully worked for years in positions of varying responsibilites and visibility. Working mothers have led successful companies, states, towns, hospitals, and universities. Is the Vice Presidential position such a position that lends itself to the work-life balance needs of a working mother (and soon-to-be grandmother)?

Many career opportunities are available today for women who seek a career outside the home. With work-life balance being a top concern of employers and employees since the 60's, much has been done to address the needs and provide a variety of approaches for helping people manage. Is the government ready to address ths at such a high level? If so, what will this do for working mothers across the Country?

One concern that's come up for me is that although much of what I initially read and heard about Sarah Palin described her husband as a caretaker for their children and a stay-at-home dad, the more recent news describes him as an oil field production operator, a commercial fisherman, and professional snowmobile racer who spends extended periods away from the home. His work requires that he spend most of his time out at sea or traveling at high speeds over frozen tundra.

No mention has been made of extended family or a support network of friends who have helped in the past with child rearing (or other home-based responsibilities) or might be available in the future if Mrs. Palin becomes the Vice President of the United States of America. There is no dispute that young children do need the time and attention from their parent(s). In my opinion, how Sarah Palin cares for her children is really more of a personal decision but one which deserves attention from the point that, if elected, she would hold the highest office of any woman in the US. And, if the elected President, John McCain had any issues that prevented him from fulfilling his duties, Sarah Palin would become the first female President of the US. Is she ready? Is America ready? Is the world ready?

Is this discussion and the questions raised sexist or realist? What are your views??

Working Parents

I visited the Fox Studios in NY earlier today to tape 2 segments for FoxBusiness.com. Although we had an appointment for studio time at 11:15, we were not able to tape until later that afternoon because someone had mis-communicated. (Has anything like this ever happened to you??)

Anyway, I was interviewed about tips for working parents for one segment and how to set better boundaries at work for the other. Anna Gilligan, the host was a pleasure to work with although not personally able understand the issues facing working parents every day, beings she's not a parent herself. Many of the tips shared in this type of format are general and non-specific because it's reaching a varied audience. When you read Succeeding as a
Super Busy Parent you can select the tips that apply to you and incorporate them into your life. Sometimes we get so busy that we forget the practical and sometimes simple things you could be doing to beat this challenge. You can check out the show at http://www.foxbusiness.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralPlaylistId=5fd543b8ce7fcb5cee5c4eaecd94e0a73b33a327.

If this doesn't work, go to the FoxBusiness.com site and scroll down to the gold box on the left-hand side that says Fast Track (Download Podcast/ Watch Now). Click Watch now and scroll down to select the March 10 video on Working Parents.

Sleep Deprived??

What an experience!! I met Charles Osgood from CBS Sunday Morning news today when we taped a segment set to air on Sunday March 9th about sleep deprivation. We filmed the segment here in my office and home. They will also interview some sleep experts and a client of mine who certainly lives a very busy life.


The piece centers around the fact that people today are so busy they often fail to take time for adequate sleep. Many of my clients, friends and family survive on too few hours of sleep. This doesn't normally effect them immediately, but eventually they experience grogginess; may fall asleep driving, at work, or while watching TV at home with their family; find themselves losing patience and becoming less effective in their numerous roles.


If you are one of the millions who don't get the sleep they need. What are you doing instead? Are you bringing home piles of work, catching up on bills, cleaning the house, surfing the Internet, taking care of a new puppy, or something else? Are these activities really more important than your health and well-being?


Do you have a real sleep disorder, such as sleep apnea, that really needs to be addressed?


Here's a challenge for you if you frequently get inadequate sleep...


choose 1 night this week to commit to getting a good night's sleep. On that night, bring no work home, turn off the phone and TV, have someone else take care of the kids or pets, etc. and focus on getting a good night's sleep.


You can do it! It starts with realizing that your habits are not working for you any longer. Then it takes your conscious effort to change that habit. Start with 1 day, then make it once per week over at least the next month. Once you have a regular pattern, add another day.


Realize there's always something else you can be doing...but your sleep is of critical importance!