How to Manage Your Inner Critic

Many of my clients and several audience members often remark that they feel somewhat like an imposter because they're not as bright, capable or successful as others perceive them to be. They're often afraid someone may find out. If you share this issue, this article interestingly helps you manage your inner critic. If you need more help, 1-1 coaching may be the solution to help you break through your blocks and be more confident and successful in your own eyes. Call or email me to discuss your needs. And, don't worry, our conversations are strictly confidential!

View the Harvard Business Review article: How to Manage Your Inner Critic

De-Stress Your Holidays

The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.

Ruthlessly plan ahead. With Thanksgiving already behind us, Hanukkah in full swing and Christmas and Kwanza just ahead, there’s less time for planning, but continue planning as much as possible. Set specific days on your calendar for activities such as baking, shopping, wrapping, and visiting friends or relatives. Also, be sure to schedule some relaxation time for yourself. The holidays will feel more manageable if you are well-rested.

Determine Your True Priorities. Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.

Define Your Limits. Learn when & how to say “no” so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what’s most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you don’t have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There’s also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!

Let go of the need for Perfection. For many it is tough to accept your own limitations. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it. Cut yourself some slack!

Pace Yourself. Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!

Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings. Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk or resting in the palm of your hand. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD's and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you don’t know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.

Help Others/Volunteer. This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of "community" by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.

Practice Patience & Good Deeds. Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.

Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud). Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: 'Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don't expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!

Exercise!! Yes, that’s right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It's amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!

Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine. Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate

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Visit my BLOG - Full Plate at www.mypath.com and check out the other great career resources

Untie from Technology

Those who are tied to their technology so that they can respond immediately to anyone reaching out to them need to better understand what this behavior is costing them...

Are you someone who almost always immediately replies to every phone call, text message or email so that you can demonstrate just how committed you are to your work and family? Do you often provide an immediate response for work-related items while getting around to family, friends and personal matters when you have the chance? Or, do you respond immediately to your family while putting off work-related contacts?

Having the habit of responding immediately, whether for everyone, or for just work or personal matters is unhealthy. Many are fooled to believe that when they respond immediately to work-related matters they are demonstrating their commitment to their job. However, are they? And, does this level of availability really measure true commitment?

Commitment is not synonymous with being constantly available! Operating as if it is contributes to higher stress levels and lower life satisfaction levels. Subscribe to our free e-newsletter by sending a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogoups.com to learn more about this and gain some valuable tips.

The advances in modern technology have created a common distorted view of expectations. Commitment to your job in too many cases has become equated with being constantly available. However, just because you can be constantly accessible and responsive doesn’t necessarily mean you should be available 24/7.

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here's the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

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Too much on Your Plate?

I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, "There's too much on my Plate". The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.

What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people's lives.

Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.

This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!

It's not JUST ABOUT Work-Life Balance

I have studied work-life balance for well over a decade and conclude that the key reason why there’s still a gap for employers, business owners, and employees despite millions being spent in programs is because these opportunities are mostly all externally-focused. Thus, work-life balance as we’ve known for years has been primarily focused on programs, services, benefits, and the like while neglecting that true balance is internally-driven. The symptoms often associated with unbalance include overwhelm, burnout, stress and other mental, physiological and emotional issues. Yet the programs, although helpful, don’t fully address the problem.

Balance is derived from a sense of harmony, peace and alignment. One who works 90 hours a week could actually be more balanced than someone who doesn’t even work at all. Balance is about knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and feeling that sense of control over your life. When you’ve usurped power of your life to someone or something, it’s that powerlessness that causes feeling of imbalance.

Some of the more popular programs including childcare, elder care, concierge services, health and wellness benefits, flextime, telecommuting, and job share help ease the burden of working long hours while managing a life outside work. They also allow for working longer hours. Yet true work-life balance is about being aligned, making the right choices for you.



My studies have revealed that it’s not just about work-life balance, time management, stress management, or increasing productivity but all these things combined to help each individual overcome what I call Obsessive Distraction Disorder (or O.D.D. for short!). Distractions increase when you’re not aligned with what’s most important to you! By targeting what matters most, decisions are based on top priorities---what’s most important to you!

The typical work-life program offerings help create more time and sanity. However, time spent unwisely is still time lost; time that can never be recaptured! Unlike other resources, time is not a renewable resource. Therefore, it’s highly important to recognize what’s most important in all aspects of your life and realign around those things. Be crystal clear about your values, integrity, needs, purpose and priorities.

Remember the old adage…it’s not about working harder, but working smarter. In this case, think more broadly, work is a part of your life that serves a specific purpose, so LIVE SMARTER, not harder! Make wise choices aligned with what matters most to you!

Make Conscientious Decisions

We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.

After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.

When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.

I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…

1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.

2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.

3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?

4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.

5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.

6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!

There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.

The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.

My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!

Defraying Stress

The Top Ten Ways Working Parents Can Defray Stress

By Natalie Gahrmann, The Priority Pro

Between work demands, caring for your children, and seeing to everyday matters and responsibilities there is little time left to take care of yourself. So, many working parents put off time for their own needs and desires. However, you are a key influence on your child's development, so the amount of stress you are experiencing in your work, family and personal life has a direct impact on them. Here's some tips to help defray the stress and help you consciously take better care of yourself.

1. Breathe deeply

Bring in the air through your nose, deep down into your belly and out through your mouth in a slow relaxed fashion at least two-three times to help re-focus, re-center and relax.

2. Take in Relaxing Smells

Aromatherapy oils, herbal teas or scented candles are all relaxing to the olfactory system.

3. DAYDREAM, MEDITATE AND CONNECT WITH NATURE

Visit places and experience them newly. Or, give your mind a mental break by simply imagining you are somewhere else and creating a visual image and experience in your mind of being there. Either way, fully connect with your surroundings by noticing sounds, smells and textures. Relax your spirit and body using soothing music and warm lights.

4. Avoid Overextending Yourself

Stop saying "yes" too often to requests of your time, money, energy or other resources. Say "no" to things and people as a way of honoring you. Allow yourself a chance to think about the request before acepting the invitation. Bow out later if the commitment is contributing too greatly to your stress.

5. Eat Healthy Foods

Eat foods and drink beverages that nourish your body and soul.

6. Participate in a hobby or sport

Create an outlet for relaxation that you truly enjoy doing. Use your creativity to write, sculpt, knit, paint, etc. Use physical activities or daily exercise rituals to help "blow off" steam both physically and mentally.

7. lighten up

Smile, laugh and just be friendly to others. Friendliness goes far and helps you feel good about yourself. Humor lightens up tension. Notice how laughter is contagious, too. People are more naturally attracted to people who seem happy, positive, enthusiastic, and excited about life. Stop taking things so seriously all the time and lighten up a bit.

8. Enlist help from others

Learn to ask for and accept help (even when things are not done to your high standard level!) You will gain by delegating and allowing others to help, even when things don't turn out exactly as they would have if you completed the task yourself. Allow yourself to be nurtured by your friends and family.

9. Spend Quality Time with Your Children

Have fun and interact with your children. Be fully present with them. Truly listen to what they have to say and connect on a deeper level.

10. Get Romantic

Stimulate your body's release of endorphins by reading a romance novel, or better yet, curl up with your spouse/significant other or make love.

Self-Discovery Questions

Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.

Empowering Self Discovery Questions:

· How do I want to reinvent myself?

· What will I do if people don't accept the new me?

· How can I help people understand the new me?

· What skills, talents and qualities do I wish to reuse?

· How can I use these skills, talents and qualities with the new me?

· Do I want to use these traits immediately or in the future?

· What past events in my life would I like to reexamine and explore?

· What can I learn and put into practice from past experiences?

· What tools can I use to renew myself?

· How would I like to see myself in a week, a month and a year from now?

· What else can I do to reinvent, renew, reexamine and transform my life so that I will enjoy it to the fullest?

Is Sarah Palin ready to be the next VP?

Pretty much everywhere I go and in many of my phone conversations, women are talking about Sarah Palin's nomination to the VP spot on the Republican ticket. Never before have I heard so many diverse people voice their opinions and concerns about an election. Her election has provoked many conversations and reactions not only in the US, but around the world!

I was interviewed on News Radio 740 KTRH located in Houston, TX in a show that aired this past Monday. They inquired about my opinion regarding working mothers. So, I wonder, is the controversy about her election into the VP candidate position really about her experience, her family responsibilities, her views on the issues, her ability to perform the job duties, or perhaps, something else or a combination of sorts?

The question I keep hearing is "What is a woman with five children, including an infant with Downs Syndrome, doing seeking the Vice Presidency of the United States?"

My initial reaction is that if this were a man (and many men have had families while holding high public office!) it would not be discussed as an issue. In an election year where Hillary Clinton nearly became the first Presidential candidate women have been more involved emotionally and mentally from the onset of this campaign.

I've heard this issue characterized as a gender bias issue and also sexist. I've heard people across the country question whether a mother of five would have a hard time fulfilling the duties of the second highest office in the country. I've also heard people question her commitment to her family and what's in the best interest of her children.

The real issues should be about whether or not any candidate can fulfill the oath of their position. Do they have the experience, knowledge, resources to handle their job responsibilities? Will their be conflicting demands and priorities that might interfere with the duties of the position? If so, how will they be handled? What if she became pregnant again while in office?

Women have successfully worked for years in positions of varying responsibilites and visibility. Working mothers have led successful companies, states, towns, hospitals, and universities. Is the Vice Presidential position such a position that lends itself to the work-life balance needs of a working mother (and soon-to-be grandmother)?

Many career opportunities are available today for women who seek a career outside the home. With work-life balance being a top concern of employers and employees since the 60's, much has been done to address the needs and provide a variety of approaches for helping people manage. Is the government ready to address ths at such a high level? If so, what will this do for working mothers across the Country?

One concern that's come up for me is that although much of what I initially read and heard about Sarah Palin described her husband as a caretaker for their children and a stay-at-home dad, the more recent news describes him as an oil field production operator, a commercial fisherman, and professional snowmobile racer who spends extended periods away from the home. His work requires that he spend most of his time out at sea or traveling at high speeds over frozen tundra.

No mention has been made of extended family or a support network of friends who have helped in the past with child rearing (or other home-based responsibilities) or might be available in the future if Mrs. Palin becomes the Vice President of the United States of America. There is no dispute that young children do need the time and attention from their parent(s). In my opinion, how Sarah Palin cares for her children is really more of a personal decision but one which deserves attention from the point that, if elected, she would hold the highest office of any woman in the US. And, if the elected President, John McCain had any issues that prevented him from fulfilling his duties, Sarah Palin would become the first female President of the US. Is she ready? Is America ready? Is the world ready?

Is this discussion and the questions raised sexist or realist? What are your views??

The Glass Hammer exists

If you are a women executive in the financial services, law or business industry, you may be interested in a BLOG called "The Glass Hammer". This site is an online community created specifically for women executives in financial services, law and business. It’s not only about work, but also about what to do after work, and it’s about having fun and being a fantastic human being.

The founder, Nicki Gilmour, publishes this BLOG to help you not only survive but to thrive at life and at work. The goal of The Glass Hammer site is to:

• Engage you with stories from the top and the trenches and share with you the good, bad and ugly of life in the business world.
• Answer your questions and address work/life issues via our on-call panel of industry experts.
• Become the ONE place you check for networking and employment opportunities.
• Give you the best training and support so both your career and your life can flourish.
  

Check it out and let us know what you think!

Conquer Challenges of Work & Family

As life continues to speed up around you and technology provides opportunities for you to do more, many people feel further away from living a balanced life. One of the central concerns of all working professionals is to live a balanced life. Your life, however, is fluid and in constant motion, therefore the challenges you face are continually shifting and evolving. You must find the formula that works for you and avoid the should's, could's, and have to's because they reflect someone else's standards rather than your own.

You must learn to look, not for a solution, but for a process, a way of addressing your challenges and issues that you can use over and over as each issue arises. Just as you weigh the pro's and con's of each course of action at work, you set goals and objectives, you organize your work, you delegate, and, you communicate, you must learn to bring this level of concentration, focus and discipline to your life at home. Interestingly, the same skills that contribute to your success on the job and make you a valued, productive employee, are the skills you also need to manage your home life and to achieve a healthy balance.

Some of the common challenges facing working professionals today include: time for self, relationships and family; being able to organize at home and work; sticking to priorities; professional development and career growth; societal standards; conflicting demands; and sheer exhaustion. You can combat some of these challenges by:

• keeping a healthy perspective
• rethinking the 'should's, 'could's, 'have to's, 'ought's and 'if only's in your life
• acknowledging and accepting your reality and current situation
• recognizing your limitations
• having a positive attitude
• aligning your actions and handling of every day tasks and demands with what's truly most important to you (seek the joy in life and you'll end up feeling balanced and happy)
• committing to making changes to simplify your life and eliminate habits that no longer serve you.

The stress of balancing work and personal life can make you feel out of control. It can negatively affect your health and self-esteem. Feeling in control increases your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you can be a more productive worker and a more loving parent and partner.

Use driving time

Lately I’ve been attending more meetings, events, conferences and tapings than normal so I’ve been spending more time on the road commuting to and from locations than I usually do. It is a good reminder for me that this time can feel totally wasted or effectively used, depending on how you spend it. You have numerous options how to use your commuting time. Here are a couple of things that come to mind:

• Relax. Do nothing and feel good about it!
• Practice deep breathing.
• Do Kegal exercises (or other exercises or stretches you can safely perform while driving).
• Catch up on phone calls (using a headset or speakerphone, of course!)
• Listen to music—your choice, highly energizing or soft and relaxing.
• Create a to-do list.
• Sing!
• Dictate into a tape recorder.
• Observe nature, people, cars, billboards, etc. Be really present in the moment.
• Change your clothes (not highly recommended! I used to do this on my commute from the office to the college when I was working on my masters).
• Eat (be careful though, some foods adapt better to eating on the go than others!)
• Drink—non-alcoholic, of course!. (I recommend keeping a bottle of water in your car at all times. If it’s there, you’re more likely to drink it)
• Plan your meals.
• Create your shopping list.
• Put on make-up (while the car is stopped at a light or in traffic, of course!)
  Spend some quality time with your children (if they’re commuting with you. Children are more likely to talk and share information when you’re not able to look them right in the eye).
• Find another route. Explore other roads less traveled.
• Carpool with a friend and really get to know him/her.
  Rest your eyes (not while your car is moving but when you are stopped briefly).
• Do errands along the way to avoid extra trips out.
• Play a game (even if no one else is in the car with you! I’ve stopped boredom a number of times by noting license plates from other states, counting convertibles, etc.).
• Practice a conversation or speech.
• Listen to an inspirational audio.
• Take an audio class for personal or professional growth.
• Flirt!
• Wave to someone in another car.
• Plan a date.
• Phone home. Find out if anything is needed. Get a feel for everyone else’s mood so that you can adjust yours accordingly.
• Read (only if someone else is driving!)
• Knit (only if someone else is driving!)
• Clip coupons (only if someone else is driving!)
• Just look out the window.
• Have a crisis (not highly recommended! Be sure you have enough gas, oil and other fluids, the right tire pressure, working lights and windshield wipers, etc. Have some extra cash and coins on-hand. Have a snack and drink readily available. Have a first-aid kit, emergency supplies, a map, a working phone, and anything else you can think of on-hand to avoid having a crisis to or from work. Either will totally ruin your day!)
• Unwind from a stressful morning on your commute in. Be thankful that you’re away from the craziness of home!
• Unwind from a stressful day at work. Be thankful to be reuniting with your family after a busy day on-the-job.

With a list this long, I’m sure you’ll find some things to do during your commute, so, consciously choose how you want to use your commuting time. Avoid letting circumstances rule your time. Try out some of the ideas above, create some new one (and share them with me, of course!)

Preferential Treatment?

According to Elizabeth at the Career and Kids blog
http://www.careerandkids.com/do-working-mothers-get-a-pass-on-working-late/

In the workplace, it’s often perceived that parents, especially mothers, get preferential treatment when it comes to working late or overtime. However, a recent survey by Adecco USA Workplace finds that working moms are just as likely as non-parents to work late:

The latest Adecco USA Workplace Insight survey, conducted in recognition of Mother’s Day, found that working moms (71%) are just as likely as non-parents (73%) to work late and respond to e-mails after hours, even though one-third of all workers (32%) would be less inclined to ask a working parent (male or female) to do so. Further, even though they’re willing to burn the midnight oil with the rest of their colleagues, nearly half of moms (49%) think their companies should do more to help them achieve better work/life balance.

For more information, check out this press release!

What are your thoughts? What are your personal experiences?

Working Parents

I visited the Fox Studios in NY earlier today to tape 2 segments for FoxBusiness.com. Although we had an appointment for studio time at 11:15, we were not able to tape until later that afternoon because someone had mis-communicated. (Has anything like this ever happened to you??)

Anyway, I was interviewed about tips for working parents for one segment and how to set better boundaries at work for the other. Anna Gilligan, the host was a pleasure to work with although not personally able understand the issues facing working parents every day, beings she's not a parent herself. Many of the tips shared in this type of format are general and non-specific because it's reaching a varied audience. When you read Succeeding as a
Super Busy Parent you can select the tips that apply to you and incorporate them into your life. Sometimes we get so busy that we forget the practical and sometimes simple things you could be doing to beat this challenge. You can check out the show at http://www.foxbusiness.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralPlaylistId=5fd543b8ce7fcb5cee5c4eaecd94e0a73b33a327.

If this doesn't work, go to the FoxBusiness.com site and scroll down to the gold box on the left-hand side that says Fast Track (Download Podcast/ Watch Now). Click Watch now and scroll down to select the March 10 video on Working Parents.

Unexpected Occurences

My son broke his right wrist on Friday when we went skiing/snow-boarding beings they had the day off for a teacher's in-service day. So, not unlike any of you who are also Super Busy Parents, I needed to rearrange my schedule so that I could get my son to the doctor on Tuesday.

As working parents we are often faced with the challenge of taking care of our personal/family life when we have commitments at work. Fortunately, I have made the choice 11 years ago to have my own business. This gives me extra flexibility but sacrifices the steady income and benefits I was receiving in the corporate world. I was able to re-arrange my individual coaching clients, participate in a meeting via conference call, and still attend a meeting I was scheduled to attend that evening. I called in my support network!

Building a strong support network is important for any working parents success, especially the Super Busy Parent! Having a support network allows you the option to call upon people and resources as needed. I phoned the Orthopedist's office from the ski lodge to get their recommendations as to our best course of action for my son's wrist, I called the Pediatrician to let her know what happened and get whatever referrals I'd need to get him the appropriate care in a timely fashion (here in America President's weekend is a holiday weekend and most businesses are closed for President's Day on Monday!), we called my daughter's friend's mother to inform her we were on our way home (and she offered to take the girls as soon as we arrived), we called my mother-in-law to have her let out the dog beings we didn't know how long we'd be detained at the hospital, and over the weekend I called/emailed my clients to reschedule appointments.

Communication and a support network are crucial. So is keeping things organized so that you have what you need when you need it. Anticipating what you think you might need, may also save an extra trip (I got a copy of the xray while I was at the hospital this time and it saved me a trip back!)

How can you be better prepared for the unexpected??

Secrets of the Happiest and Most Successful

Did you know...a new survey by American Express and Best Life Magazine reported that men increasingly are defining success by their family's health and happiness, work/life balance, and time they spend having fun. Overall, the survey, conducted by the Harrison Group, found that:

* Only 10 percent of affluent men in America consider themselves both happy and very successful.

* The other 90 percent feel they have reached some levels of success and happiness but are still striving to make gains in their personal lives and careers to reach the same top level of life satisfaction.

* Nearly all of the men (95 percent) believe that to be successful, a man must achieve work/life balance.

* Only one out of four men will take a sick day to enjoy their personal interests.

Best Life Magazine (the fastest-growing men's magazine in the country and the very first men's magazine to provide topical and compelling editorial that addresses family, marriage and fatherhood)also outlines the secrets of the 10 percent of men who are extremely happy and super successful. Some characteristics that set them apart: The ability to have fun, having clearly defined goals and navigating change well.

I'm curious...what do you think of these results? Do they ring true for you?

From Good to Great in 2008

Wow, I can't believe my last BLOG was posted back in July! I have been super busy myself and focused on other parts of my business and personal life. But now, it's a new year. I've challenged the readers of my e-newsletter to join me in my journey to go from good to great in 2008. I'm raising the bar. I've asked readers and clients to share their stories on how they've raised the bar in their super busy lives. So, check back here often to read what others are doing and use it to inspire yourself to go from good to great in 2008!

(I like catchey rhymes because it helps me remember things better)

Drop me an email at natalie@nrgcoaching.com with your commitment and actions you've taken. Just let me know how you'd like it posted on this BLOG to share with others.

The New Etiquette Tips at Work

I read Penelope Trunk, the Brazen Careerist's, Ten New Etiquette Tips for the Workplace and found them rather interesting. What was even more forthcoming was the comments reacting to her story. Many felt she thoroughly missed the mark!

I, for one, liked a couple of her tips and felt they could work in some work environments. You really need to know the culture and norms before incorporating all of these tips into your workplace, especially, if you want to keep your job!

You can read all ten of her tips at http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/careerist/40342 and even purchase her book, Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success. This book acknowledges how the rules for success have changed in today's work environment. Trunk encourages readers to think bigger, act more boldly, and blaze new trails in order to succeed on your own terms.

My favorite tip as a work/life expert who has supported thousands of people to help them better integrate work and life, is her tip #9, Call people on the weekend for work. Not that I don't value personal time, but I realize that in order to have the flexibilty you need and want during the week, it may be important to let go of the belief that it's bad to call work colleagues on the weekend because it's an intrusion of their time. Those who have clear boundaries will let you know that they don't welcome your call either by telling you or by ignoring your call. If you're working on an important project or client account and might need their input, let them know that you may be contacting them over the weekend and get their permission ahead of time (you can even find out the best times to reach them!).

The younger people in the workforce grew up being super-connected with their Blackberries, cell phones, instant messaging, and 24/7 access. They often prefer the flexibility of leaving work a little earlier or arrive a little later during the week so that they can focus on other priorities but then catch up for a few hours on the weekend. Note that a work schedule that cordons off five days a week for work and two days a week for a personal life means that the personal life takes a backseat every week of the year.

Trunk's advice: "The best way to get a life is to stop being so rigid about the distinction between time for work and time for life."

This is truly something to think about!!

Let me know what you think!

Sincerely yours,

Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com