Are YOU a Workaholic?

Read the full article:
Are You a Workaholic? 7 Signs that Point to Yes, and 7 steps Toward your Recovery

Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention

Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can't put down your BlackBerry??




I’m learning to put down the BlackBerry and pay attention - Busy Mama - The Olympian - Olympia, Washington

De-Stress Your Holidays

The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.

Ruthlessly plan ahead. With Thanksgiving already behind us, Hanukkah in full swing and Christmas and Kwanza just ahead, there’s less time for planning, but continue planning as much as possible. Set specific days on your calendar for activities such as baking, shopping, wrapping, and visiting friends or relatives. Also, be sure to schedule some relaxation time for yourself. The holidays will feel more manageable if you are well-rested.

Determine Your True Priorities. Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.

Define Your Limits. Learn when & how to say “no” so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what’s most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you don’t have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There’s also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!

Let go of the need for Perfection. For many it is tough to accept your own limitations. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it. Cut yourself some slack!

Pace Yourself. Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!

Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings. Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk or resting in the palm of your hand. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD's and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you don’t know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.

Help Others/Volunteer. This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of "community" by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.

Practice Patience & Good Deeds. Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.

Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud). Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: 'Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don't expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!

Exercise!! Yes, that’s right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It's amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!

Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine. Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.

Women's Health & Fitness

Today is national Women’s Health & Fitness Day! It's the largest annual health promotion event for women of all ages. This unique national program — with participation by local organizations throughout the U.S. — focuses attention on the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women.

More than 1,000 groups across the country will host women’s health and fitness events at senior centers, hospitals, health clubs, park and recreation districts, local health and service organizations, schools, retirement communities, houses of worship, and other community locations today and also on the last Wednesday of every September to come. An estimated 40,000 to 50,000 women are expected to participate in these local activities.

Whether or not there's a local event, do something for your health and fitness today! If life is too busy, click over to my website for a free article Top 10 Ways to Fit Fitness into Your 'Too'-Busy Schedule.

Any activity, including walking, exercising, a health screening,
or even attending a health information workshop counts today! The goal of this special day is to encourage women to take control of their health: to learn the facts they need to make smart health choices, and to make time for regular physical activity. Don't hesitate...do something now!

Set Better Boundaries

At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.

Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it's much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.

Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.

School Involvement

This week's e-newsletter, "Success Tips for SuperBusy Parents" is about getting involved in your child's school. My children are now in 7th and 10th grade. I find that my opportunities for involvement have changed throughout their school years.

When my children were in elementary school, I could volunteer as class parent or for special projects or field trips (which I did). After jumping in with two feet, I pulled back from some of my initial involvement because I found it draining my energy and taking valuable time away from my family. Instead, I chose to limit my involvement to those activiites where I could have direct interaction rather than behind-the-scenes support. I got to know other parents, teachers and the Principal.

As my children got older, they wanted less of me at the school. So, I volunteered to help with publicity and fundraising (as long as it didn't pull me away from family time!). Last year, when my daughter asked me to chaperone a trip, I changed my appointments at work so that I could take advantage of this limited opportunity. It was one of the best decisions I made! Besides spending time with my daughter, I enjoyed spending time with her friends and visiting the Philadelphia Zoo. I also appreciated the opportunity to meet the other chaperones, especially a dad who is the President of a mid-level company who was there at the request of his son.

You never know what joys you'll get from your school involvement! Choose wisely and volunteer when you can. Don't be too busy to enjoy some of the best pleasures life has to offer! I'm already hoping my daughter requests me to chaperone the overnight trip at the end of 8th grade!!

Untie from Technology

Those who are tied to their technology so that they can respond immediately to anyone reaching out to them need to better understand what this behavior is costing them...

Are you someone who almost always immediately replies to every phone call, text message or email so that you can demonstrate just how committed you are to your work and family? Do you often provide an immediate response for work-related items while getting around to family, friends and personal matters when you have the chance? Or, do you respond immediately to your family while putting off work-related contacts?

Having the habit of responding immediately, whether for everyone, or for just work or personal matters is unhealthy. Many are fooled to believe that when they respond immediately to work-related matters they are demonstrating their commitment to their job. However, are they? And, does this level of availability really measure true commitment?

Commitment is not synonymous with being constantly available! Operating as if it is contributes to higher stress levels and lower life satisfaction levels. Subscribe to our free e-newsletter by sending a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogoups.com to learn more about this and gain some valuable tips.

The advances in modern technology have created a common distorted view of expectations. Commitment to your job in too many cases has become equated with being constantly available. However, just because you can be constantly accessible and responsive doesn’t necessarily mean you should be available 24/7.

How can I carve out some "me" time?

I went back through some expert contributions I've made at some other sites and found this still relevant question from a mom who is challenged carving out some time for herself. Every SuperBusy Parent needs to understand the importance of "me" time and of sharing the responsibilities at home so that both partners have some valuable time for themselves. Feel free to add your comments at www.momtourage.com.

How can I carve out some me-time?

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Also, read our latest e-newsletter for tips about getting solo time.

Improve your Sex Life!

With just about everyone having too much on their plate these days, we all have Obsessive Distraction Disorder (O.D.D.). Distractions pull us away from what we say is important to us.

As I was getting dressed on Saturday morning, I caught a short segment on the CBS Early Morning show featuring Dr. Jenn Berman, a well-known Psychotherapist. The piece was about putting sex back in your marriage (something many are too distracted to do!)

Dr. Jenn Berman shared 5 keys to "Getting Heat Back Between Those Sheets". These tips closely align with the need to Assess what's on your plate; Integrate with what matters most; and Maintain the Alignment going forward. One of the key problems is that we are exhausted and over-stressed because we over-schedule our lives. This effects our ability and desire to be intimate in the bedroom. To better balance, say "No" more often so that you have more time, energy and interest to say "Yes" to your relationship. Ultimately everytime you say "yes" to something you are indeed saying "no" to something else. Be aware of this so that you can pace yourself and avoid tapping out your energy before you get to your partner.

She also mentioned the importance of communicating without placing blame. Personally, I've found that something I learned when watching my wedding video 19 years ago and listening to a toast by our Uncle Steve..."Your marriage needs two important things to thrive and they can be summed up with the initials P U. You need patience and understanding." I've lived by this and also treat my husband and our relationship with the utmost respect that it deserves.

For a marriage to succeed in these times when everyone seems to have too much on their plate, it takes conscious effort! Other tips from Dr. Jenn Berman may be viewed at the video online at: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/15/earlyshow/saturday/main5244010.shtml?tag=cbsnewsSectionsArea.9 .


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The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here's the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

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Too much on Your Plate?

I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, "There's too much on my Plate". The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.

What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people's lives.

Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.

This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!

Procrastination Busters

Prune your to-do list of the non-essential items you know you'll never do.
For that must-do task you've been putting off, just do it - ideally, the first thing in the morning. This frees your mental energy - often, not-doing something drains you more than doing it.

Identify a part of the disliked task that's fairly pleasant - such as calling a colleague for information - and do that first, to get your feet wet. Or make a list of the various steps involved.

Schedule hunks of time to tackle work that requires concentration. Actually make an appointment with yourself. Let voice mail pick up your calls. You'll make a lot of headway in a short time.

If the task is really objectionable, promise yourself you'll tackle it just for 10 minutes, then if it's killing you, you can stop. You may find it's not so bad and can easily keep going until finished..

If you want to avoid being distracted by email or the internet, put your computer behind you. You'll have to swivel around in your chair to check your email for the umpteenth time, or to Google something you're only mildly curious about. Going to the computer will now be a conscious decision.

Avoid the temptation to shift from one half-finished task to another. This task-hopping is a form of stealth procrastination that many of us do without knowing it.

For digitally managing tasks with sub-tasks, watch for our upcoming article "Use Outlook to Keep Track of Multi-Part Tasks" in the next issue of this eLetter.

Some of the best procrastination advice is from Alan Lakein - pre-tech era, but still excellent.

Reprinted with permission from Jan Jasper. (c) Jan Jasper 2009. www.janjasper.com. Jan Jasper is author of Take Back Your Time: How to Regain Control of Work, Information, and Technology, published by St. Martin's Press.

It's not JUST ABOUT Work-Life Balance

I have studied work-life balance for well over a decade and conclude that the key reason why there’s still a gap for employers, business owners, and employees despite millions being spent in programs is because these opportunities are mostly all externally-focused. Thus, work-life balance as we’ve known for years has been primarily focused on programs, services, benefits, and the like while neglecting that true balance is internally-driven. The symptoms often associated with unbalance include overwhelm, burnout, stress and other mental, physiological and emotional issues. Yet the programs, although helpful, don’t fully address the problem.

Balance is derived from a sense of harmony, peace and alignment. One who works 90 hours a week could actually be more balanced than someone who doesn’t even work at all. Balance is about knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and feeling that sense of control over your life. When you’ve usurped power of your life to someone or something, it’s that powerlessness that causes feeling of imbalance.

Some of the more popular programs including childcare, elder care, concierge services, health and wellness benefits, flextime, telecommuting, and job share help ease the burden of working long hours while managing a life outside work. They also allow for working longer hours. Yet true work-life balance is about being aligned, making the right choices for you.



My studies have revealed that it’s not just about work-life balance, time management, stress management, or increasing productivity but all these things combined to help each individual overcome what I call Obsessive Distraction Disorder (or O.D.D. for short!). Distractions increase when you’re not aligned with what’s most important to you! By targeting what matters most, decisions are based on top priorities---what’s most important to you!

The typical work-life program offerings help create more time and sanity. However, time spent unwisely is still time lost; time that can never be recaptured! Unlike other resources, time is not a renewable resource. Therefore, it’s highly important to recognize what’s most important in all aspects of your life and realign around those things. Be crystal clear about your values, integrity, needs, purpose and priorities.

Remember the old adage…it’s not about working harder, but working smarter. In this case, think more broadly, work is a part of your life that serves a specific purpose, so LIVE SMARTER, not harder! Make wise choices aligned with what matters most to you!

Young Mother of the Year

After reading the article and hearing the news about the Hardest working moms, I was a bit disappointed that the measurement was mostly based on earnings. So, when I read news of the Young Mother of the Year Award, I was happy to see that more real mothers are also getting recognized. These moms are 18 or younger...still children themselves yet they're raising children, often with limited resources and support. Perhaps, they are the true heroes?

I don't personally encourage young motherhood. It takes a lot of maturity and responsibility to care for oneself, let alone another human being that relies so heavily on you!

However, I do want to acknowledge American Mothers Incorporated for recognizing the challenges faced by mothers trying to balance a career and children. Each year they select a representative from each state as the Young Mother-of-the-Year. This award honors dedicated, outstanding mothers who are still raising their children that are 18 years old or younger.

This year North Dakota's Young Mother of the Year is KX News weekend anchor Jen Dame.

Balanced Entrepreneur or Workaholic?

Lee Down, a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development posted his view about this topic on his blog. I don't know him personally but I found his views interesting and aligned with many of mine.

He compares a workaholic, someone who has no identity beyond their work and a True Entrepreneur, one that he observes their values, passion, and whole way of being aligned with what they do.

Check out his full post at http://www.welfarequeen.org/recreation/balance-entreprenurial-or-workaholic/