Coping with a Job you Hate

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Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Coping with a Job you Hate

Reduce Mental Draining Stress

Chances are that if you are reading this Blog, you have too much on your plate. Your 'to-do' list is likely several pages long and your plate is over-flowing with activities and responsibilities, many that you didn't even put there yourself. Often, you may feel like your mind is going to explode because you have so many things stored in it that you must remember.

When I meet with clients who are feeling this way, they tell me that they feel like they can't get anything done even though they're trying their best. They express feelings of inadequacy, overwhelm, stress and frustration. They feel scattered!

Although these clients usually have a to-do list, they also keep a running list of all the things they have to do in their minds. This is the primary cause of mental stress! My clients expend a lot of energy worrying about these things, even though 87% of what we worry about either never happens or is totally out of our control anyway!

Studies indicate that when we pay attention to a piece of information, it enters our short-term memory. Typically we can only hold 5-9 pieces of simple information in our short-term memory. If this information is not acted on or encoded it goes away. Therefore, to keep information available we need to get it into our working memory. Working memory is like a vehicle that transports information from short-term into long-term memory. Working memory will transport something that fits into an existing memory, much like a filing cabinet storing data.

Once you get information into your long-term memory, you’ve made progress, but then you have to get it out. Working memory files information into long-term memory. These files are not easily accessed—-we often need reminders. And it’s easier and more efficient to recognize something than to try to recall it from scratch.

The important key to reducing the stress of forgetting things or not being able to recall them is to have a system for organizing material as it comes at you and then being able to take action. Neither system will operate effectively if left in your head though. You need to get this out of your head and into easily accessible files on your computer or in a series of reminders for action in your daily management system (e.g., MS Outlook). You can reduce mental draining stress by de-cluttering your mind.

Be a Super Hero!

I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I've got to admit, I really enjoyed it!

My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he'd never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn't wait to get back into it. He's determined and tenacious!

So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it's easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).

The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn't get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn't very crowded at the track.

I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son's eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He's already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I'm certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)

I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son's eyes.

In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter's eyes? If so, what are you waiting for...push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero..."It is definitely worth it!!"

Employee Stress

A lot of work-related traps and hazards exist for employees today in addition to the personal stresses outside the office related to family, home, pets, health, finances, or a myriad of other possible areas. There's no wonder that many employees are highly stressed!

As a leader, it is best if you can help employees know how to make stress work better for them; to transform stress to become a motivator to boost productivity and morale rather than succumb to it and have it effect job performance in negative ways.

When I work with leaders, I help them use positive energy in their leadership. I like to use an approach outlined in Energy Leadership (by Bruce Schneider). I help leaders observe the positive side of their encounters at work and the energy emitted by them and their employees in the work environment.

I believe that a good employee can easily adjust to any given situation and adapt well to the surroundings. Good employees have the ability to establish effective mechanisms that guide them so that work does not pile up. They are able to get everything done smoothly with ease and excellent output.

When employees are ready to shift away from productivity-inhibiting stress and be a valued employee, here are 5 top tips to help develop better focus:

1. Be More Disciplined: Impose your own personal working policy and implement it. Develop a working plan and set deadlines for each task or project given to you by your business leader(s). Be sure you follow the plan and deadlines you set. Learn the right pacing that will work best for you. You are the only one who can realistically control how fast, in which order and how well each task is completed. Focus on one task at a time to avoid mind clutter.

2. Develop routines: There are always other parts of your job or other projects/tasks that you also need to work on. Develop structure or systems that will help you create patterns and routines to get your work done. Set aside time for following phone calls, email, text messages and visitors so that they do not interfere with the task-at-hand. (Try out different patterns until you see what works best for you.)

3. Establish boundaries. Included in your working policy must be the boundaries you set for your co-workers and even loved ones. If co-workers need a little of your time to help them carry out some tasks, its okay to say “no” in a very nice way if you have priority things to do. For family members, set time when they can call you unless it is a life-and-death emergency.

4. Take a break when necessary. Tune in to your body signals and get to know when you need to take a break. When your body is stiffening, your impatience is growing, your concentration in diminishing or your creativity has run out, grab some fruit, a glass of water, take a walk, or do some basic exercises while at your desk to ease the tension from your body and re-energize yourself.

5. Create conducive workspace. Be sure that your workspace is comfortable and provides ease for your work. Have the necessary supplies near your reach and keep your space clutter-free. Learn to ignore the background noises from machines and chatty co-workers that can be disturbing.

Workforce Reductions

The work place is changing rapidly! Reductions in the workforce are dangerously leading to increased work overload. Fear is permeating the work environment as survivors are concerned about being axed next. Businesses are in danger of failing if leaders are not able to successfully quell employee anxieties, stress, disengagement and burnout.


One of my coaching clients shared with me that it is rumored that her employer will be undergoing major cutbacks in the upcoming months. Although nothing has formally been announced, employees are communicating informally, through the grapevine. They have been told that they will no longer be able to telecommute, as well. The assumption is that they want them all to be at the office location so that it's easier to lay people off and escort them out.


How organizational change is managed and communicated is essential to operating the ongoing business. The most successful businesses engage employees in the process and keep them informed about the status of things.

Employees naturally fear the unknown and react heavily to speculation and negative rumors. When employees feel threatened, their daily working lives are effected as energy is expended on fear and worry rather than achieving business results. Employees may quickly become paranoid and distrusting. If communication is not done in a timely fashion, by the time employees hear the news, productivity has already taken a downturn.

In contrast, necessary layoffs are understood if clear, honest, compassionate information is conveyed, adequate notice is given, outplacement assistance is provided, and fair severance packages are offered, and if those who are to be retained are assured of the security of their jobs and given assistance in adapting to change.

Economic Worries are a Major Distraction

As the economy takes a roller coaster ride, concern about losing their job and the declining value of financial investments are distracting many employees. The current economic uncertainty has threatened workforce productivity. Not surprisingly, 81 percent of Americans indicated that they are worried about something related to their jobs, according to the 2008 Workplace Insights survey done by Adecco USA. The areas most highly rated in job-related worries include:

• High gas prices (25 percent)
• Stagnant pay checks (13 percent)
• Work-life balance (12 percent)
• Rising health care costs (9 percent)
• Job market instability (7 percent)
• Opportunities for advancement (6 percent)
• Outsourcing of jobs (4 percent)
• Other worries (5 percent)

These worries affect you potentially at every level of your being. Do not panic and withdraw your funds from your 401K. Do not worry about things that are totally out of your control. Worry, stress and anxieties take a huge toll on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and can exacerbate your situation. Unfortunately, when employees are worried and feel anxious, they tend to put in less effort, perform less efficiently and lose focus more often, resulting in more fear and anxiety. These employees may seem distracted, disengaged or distant.

Be aware of your thoughts and worries. Realize that 87 percent of what people worry about never actually occurs. Worrying it and of itself only produces more worry and fear. Instead, spend your energy taking deliberate focused action toward your goals. Surround yourself with positive people. Denying that the fears and worries exist will not remove them. You actually need to allow the fear and worry to engage your brain, body and heart simultaneously and move through it using efficiency, confidence, clarity, and ease.

Realize that worrying and being fearful is actually a choice, as is choosing to release them. You do have control over your worries, fears and anxieties. You can replace the behaviors, habits and patterns that are not serving you with ones that are more productive.