Giving and Receiving in Spirit of the Holiday

During the holiday season there’s much ado about giving and receiving. We spend a lot of money buying gifts and valuable time shopping and wrapping these gifts. What often is forgotten in this hustle and bustle is the simplicity of the holiday spirit.

***********************************************************************
What can you give that’s not costly or time intensive?

What gifts have you received that haven’t been fully appreciated?

**********************************************************************

We had more than a foot of snow last week and several social engagements were canceled. I saw this as a gift of time! With the commitment removed, I now had several hours to prepare at home. I wrapped, decorated and baked. Now, I feel ahead of schedule and I'm actually looking forward to the parties being re-scheduled.

When I'm out and about shopping I consciously greet everyone with a smile. I allow drivers to take my parking space. I invite people with just a few items in front of me in line. I walk around humming Christmas carols and occasionally burst into song.

No, I'm not crazy...I'm simply enjoying the simplicity of giving and receiving. Look for the joy, spread it widely and you'll undoubtedly have a more joyous and happy holiday!

Wishing you peace, joy and happiness!!

Set Better Boundaries

At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.

Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it's much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.

Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.

Leadership and Communication blunders

Here's a great post from my colleague, Thomas Lee about worker engagement. He redefines
the engagement of a workforce as a culture with a high and ever-rising tide of focus, curiosity, passion and courage. Imagine the impact that it could have on productivity and achievement of goals!!

span style="color: lightsalmon;"Minding Gaps/span

Shared via AddThis

Make Conscientious Decisions

We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.

After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.

When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.

I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…

1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.

2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.

3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?

4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.

5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.

6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!

There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.

The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.

My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!

Workforce Reductions

The work place is changing rapidly! Reductions in the workforce are dangerously leading to increased work overload. Fear is permeating the work environment as survivors are concerned about being axed next. Businesses are in danger of failing if leaders are not able to successfully quell employee anxieties, stress, disengagement and burnout.


One of my coaching clients shared with me that it is rumored that her employer will be undergoing major cutbacks in the upcoming months. Although nothing has formally been announced, employees are communicating informally, through the grapevine. They have been told that they will no longer be able to telecommute, as well. The assumption is that they want them all to be at the office location so that it's easier to lay people off and escort them out.


How organizational change is managed and communicated is essential to operating the ongoing business. The most successful businesses engage employees in the process and keep them informed about the status of things.

Employees naturally fear the unknown and react heavily to speculation and negative rumors. When employees feel threatened, their daily working lives are effected as energy is expended on fear and worry rather than achieving business results. Employees may quickly become paranoid and distrusting. If communication is not done in a timely fashion, by the time employees hear the news, productivity has already taken a downturn.

In contrast, necessary layoffs are understood if clear, honest, compassionate information is conveyed, adequate notice is given, outplacement assistance is provided, and fair severance packages are offered, and if those who are to be retained are assured of the security of their jobs and given assistance in adapting to change.

Communication Technology Distractions

Text messages, instant messaging and online chat (which is frequently being used in some work environments as a communication tool) are often over-used; some are in the form of pop-up boxes that immediately open when the message arrives. The Internet and the ease to search for hours on end is a frequent offender both at home and at work. The best way to manage these is to prevent them in the first place. Managing expectations in an age of instant access is a challenge but possible with clear indications of when and how these will be handled.

Telephone calls are another big distraction in our lives. When focusing on the task-at-hand, most people feel the need to pick-up the ringing phone whether it’s the cell phone or standard office line. Calls can come from coworkers, customers, patients, your boss, and family, friends and personal service providers (e.g., doctor, lawyer, accountant, auto mechanic, real estate agent). It’s easy to say “just don’t answer the phone” or “turn the ringer off” during focus times, it’s another thing to put this into practice. As long as your caller has an opportunity to leave a voice message, they will do so and you can call back at a more convenient time.

How do you protect your time and the 24/7 availability?

A Secret for Self Control

Often, when I am presenting a workshop or keynote presentation or when I am working with individual coaching clients, a distinction comes up that immediately and more effectively helps everyone better manage their workload, stress level, and building healthier relationships. This distinction is respond vs. react.

When we react, we act impulsively; responding to a stimulus, often without thinking. However, when we respond, we pause, reflect, think about possible consequences to our actions, and choose a more favorable reply or action.

For example, Catherine's daughter spilled her milk by accident. Catherine's initial reaction was to yell and scream at her but when she paused she kept things in perspective and provided her daughter with some towels to clean up the mess without damaging words, threats, or accusations. Her daughter apologized, cleaned up the mess the best she could, and promised to be more careful the next time. In past situations, when Catherine yelled and screamed, her daughter cried, the situation escalated and Catherine said many things she later regretted. Catherine ended up sending her daughter to her room while Catherine cleaned up the spilt milk on her own.

In another situation, Bill (who was already overloaded with projects at work) was given yet another project with a tight deadline. Although he normally reacted by taking on the project and walking away angry and frustrated and then working round the clock to get things done, instead he chose to respond and ask more questions about the project and where it fit in with everything else he was already doing. His boss helped him prioritize this new project with everything else already on his plate. He gave some of the more menial tasks to someone else so that he could concentrate on the higher level skills needed to get the project moving. They negotiated the timeline and made it more reasonable.

Reacting to a situation vs. responding...you choose what works for you! Practice responding to experience this higher level of self control.