How to Manage Your Inner Critic

Many of my clients and several audience members often remark that they feel somewhat like an imposter because they're not as bright, capable or successful as others perceive them to be. They're often afraid someone may find out. If you share this issue, this article interestingly helps you manage your inner critic. If you need more help, 1-1 coaching may be the solution to help you break through your blocks and be more confident and successful in your own eyes. Call or email me to discuss your needs. And, don't worry, our conversations are strictly confidential!

View the Harvard Business Review article: How to Manage Your Inner Critic

Leadership and Communication blunders

Here's a great post from my colleague, Thomas Lee about worker engagement. He redefines
the engagement of a workforce as a culture with a high and ever-rising tide of focus, curiosity, passion and courage. Imagine the impact that it could have on productivity and achievement of goals!!

span style="color: lightsalmon;"Minding Gaps/span

Shared via AddThis

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here's the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

Shared via AddThis

Make Conscientious Decisions

We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.

After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.

When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.

I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…

1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.

2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.

3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?

4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.

5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.

6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!

There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.

The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.

My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!

Business Coaches Help Workers Produce

As a professional coach, I have had the opportunity to work with hundreds of managers to help them produce their optimal results in all parts of their life. While searching the internet I found an article written for the Miami Herald by Cindy Krishner Goodman about how business coaches are helping employees be more effective at work. I could not have said it better myself, so here is the article:

Ever sit through a meeting and have no idea what happened? With increasing distractions, most of us struggle throughout the day to stay in the present.
Now, in a budding trend, business coaches want to teach us how to have a conversation with a colleague or client without allowing our minds to drift. In The Moment Coaching challenges workers at all levels to stay focused at work or home.
Experts say it is the key to better relationships. Our inability to be in the present and really listen when a customer, co-worker, spouse or friend talks to us can cause us to miss crucial information.

Business coach Anese Cavanaugh, owner of Dare to Engage, says although we get stuff done, ''we miss out on huge opportunities to engage and connect with other humans.'' Cavanaugh's Illinois business is designed to help managers work better with their teams. She starts by telling a manager to turn his back to his computer when someone is talking to him. ``When you are in the present and pay attention to what's going on, you learn not just what's being spoken, but also the underlying emotion of a team, and that's when things open to you as leader.

Indeed, some experts say workers are discovering the greatest casualty of our mobile, high-tech age is attention. Most of us have become masters of multitasking, adept at responding to e-mail messages during meetings or while on the phone. We manage to make time for multiple distractions when we're actually trying to get work done. Yet, we feel inundated and overwhelmed.

''It's a real problem,'' says Harvey Sepler, a Miami appellate lawyer, who also teaches at University of Miami law school. ``Often, I'm talking to someone and I'm thinking about something I've got to do.''

Sepler says when he becomes distracted at the office, he's begun to do the same thing he teaches students -- get up, stretch, walk away and then come back and focus.
Workplace expert Gloria Mark discovered the average worker switches tasks every three minutes, and, once distracted, takes nearly a half-hour to resume the original task. We take our distractions home, too, spending time with our family, only to think about everything that happened at work today and what's about to happen tomorrow.

Because everyone's brain is wired a little differently, solutions vary. Miami business coach Roberto Suarez of Biz Champions says attention can be bolstered through training. He teaches office workers to use the same technique for staying in the moment as golfers -- the standing meditation. In a standing position, he has them focus on body position and silence.

Two weeks ago, Suarez held a workshop at Terrabank in Miami as part of employee appreciation week. Terrabank's human resources chief, Adriana Nino, says she had attended a previous coaching session with Suarez. ''People need to forget about the distractions and stop worrying about problems in the future,'' says Nino, who meditates twice a day. ``I'm not at work thinking whether my daughter is doing her homework. The only way to stay focused is to practice at it.''

Sue Bethanis, an executive/leadership coach, says in meetings where everyone is checking e-mail, or thinking about the next meeting, opportunities for staff engagement are lost. Her San Francisco firm, Mariposa Leadership, teaches people to make the most of the moment. ''It's relationship building,'' she says.
To calm a racing mind, she counsels workers to concentrate on breathing, and then bring the spotlight of their attention back again and again to the work at hand or the person talking to them. ``You might even need to write something down which is better than continuing to think about it.''

Sometimes, it takes eliminating distractions. The most common suggestion idea is to try to pull the plug on electronic devices. A typical office worker turns to e-mail more than 50 times a day and uses instant messaging 77 times, according to Seattle-based computer productivity consultant RescueTime.

In her new book, Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age, author Maggie Jackson writes, ``If we jump on every e-mail message or ping, we'll have trouble pursuing our long-term goals. To make inroads on the deep, messy work of life, we need to stay focused.''

Article originally written by BY CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN;
cgoodman @MiamiHerald.com.

Entrepreneurial Focus

One important thing I have learned that separates successful entrepreneurs from others is their ability to focus while ignoring distractions. If you read the archives in my Blog, you know that this concept is not really new to me.

Entrepreneurs have many traits that bring value to their lifestyle and work style, including the ability to thrive independently, discipline in managing personal freedom, and self-made competitiveness. They are savvy and driven. Yet, by nature, many have a hard time staying focused because they get many new ideas.

This is a never-ending struggle for many entrepreneurs---too many ideas, too little resources! What is a SuperBusy entrepreneur to do??

In an increasingly competitive environment, business growth comes from being great at just one thing at a time. Succeeding really well at one thing you know your customers need will help separate you from even the toughest competition.

Focus on your customer and potential customer and on what you choose to do better than anyone else. Use your business vision as a filter when evaluating and aligning with your core; this minimizes distractions and helps create better results. If an activity is not aligned with your big goals, even if it is a really good idea, table it and move on.

You can table your ideas by giving them a life of their own through:

1. a file or folder on your computer where the idea is stored and built.
2. an idea binder you can carry with you wherever you go and jot ideas as they occur.
3. a record on your BlackBerry.
4. a website or BLOG you create that allow others to comment on it.
5. social networking sites like Twitter, Linked In, Facebook, etc.

A New Year

Wow, time has flown since my last blog entry!! I can't believe that it has been over two months. So, you may be wondering what I have been doing during that time.

Like you, I have been SuperBusy. In an effort to align my skills, talents and interests where I can make a tremendous difference, I have been researching new markets. What I have found is that small business leaders, owners, entrepreneurs have a lot on their plate. Too often, even when they have staff, they have a hard time of letting go of some of their tasks. Sometimes, although they have specific goals each day, they are pulled off task by urgency's or other important matters that draw their attention.

Therefore, I will continue my research and I will continue working with my current clients to help them focus on their priorities both at work and home. One of my clients recently told me the power of living without the sense of chaos and stress as a result of working with me on a regular basis every other week. Another client had me help her through an important career decision so that she made the decision for the right reasons for her rather than putting others first yet again.

I am poising for growth by working on the infrastructure of my business: the systems and processes while preparing some new programs to meet the growing needs that I have learned about. With so many people focused on the economy, the crises, and the job situation, I intend to focus on the hope and the positives that will bring each individual and this country forward. Negative energy is contagious; what positive thoughts will help you achieve what you want today?

As always, I love to hear from you! Let me know your thoughts, challenges, needs, and opportunities. I am hear to support you growing to your fullest potential!

Yours truly,

Natalie Gahrmann
The Priority Pro

Exemplary Leading During Tough Times

In times of economic slowdown and crises, leadership skills are more important than ever!! According to Ronald Heifetz, director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government, "...the strongest leaders take the courage to face reality, the humility to admit when they don't have all the answers, and the commitment to make changes. The new role is to help people face reality and to mobilize them to make changes."

Many companies are already enduring a global economic downturn and an uncertain future. Markets are shifting their priorities causing some delay in purchasing decisions or cancelation of orders. Productivity is suffering mostly due to waning focus and motivation of the workforce. And, busines leaders are faced with similar emotions and anxieties that everyone else has.

Here are a few suggested strategies to help you navigate as a strong and successful leader during these troubled times:

1. Stay focused
Being alert and attentive is important. Leaders need to be a role model that helps employees align with the company's vision, mission and values. Leaders need to help keep everyone be engaged and ease their tension and anxieties by providing direction, vision, stability and support.

2. Communicate often
Employees need to feel connected to their leaders. Honest, straight-forward, consistent and frequent communication is important and helps diminish the rumors that fly in the face of fear and uncertainty. Leaders must provide the workforce with progress reports and keep them informed.

3. Motivate your workforce
Although it may be difficult during extreme and intense times, leaders must keep the workforce motivated, energized and committed. Help your employees take personal responsibility and accountability for helping the company succeed.

4. Prepare for the future
Prepare for a healthy and prosperous future. Re-position customer service and commitment to quality. Serve your customers well. Help keep the company in a healthy position to survive troubled times. Continue investing in on-going learning that can be applied to making things better now and in the future. Provide coaching, training and mentoring to help develop your employees.

6. Benchmark against the best
It's hard to say which companies will do best in the future. Many companies are faltering. Mergers and acquisitions are commonplace. Be aware of what your competitors are doing and how they are performing. Learn from their mistakes. Savor in the opportunities to learn from the best and capatalize on their experiences. Proactively look for areas that can be improved in your organization.

Don't take a wait-and-see attitude but instead pursue long-term prosperity and growth and control what you can!

Women in Leadership

I read an article in the Star Ledger last week (Thursday, Feb. 22) titled "Ms.-Fortune for women in leadership: Slip from long-term trend; state's top ranks suffer loss".

The trend I read about in the article regarding the decreasing number of women at top leadership positions is disappointing. Although this wasn't something that I ever wanted, I know many powerful and bright corporate women who could fill corporate officer and board director positions. Fact is, we even have our first women (a mother!!) running for the Presidency and a somewhat slow growing number of women in government leadership positions at the local, state, and national levels.

However, in the Fortune 500 companies the numbers of women in officer positions shrank from 16.4 % in 2005 to 15.6 % in 2006. And, where I live (NJ), we can no longer claim a single one of the 23 women CEOs in the Fortune 1000 since Lucent's Patricia Russo transferred to Paris to retain her job with France's Alcatel when the companies merged.

My experience working with women in the highest leadership positions reveals the ambivalence these women sometimes face between wanting to climb the corporate ladder and wanting to be with their kids more. The demands of higher level positions are usually heavy and difficult for those with a family. Many of the women in the highest leadership positions have partners who stay home with the kids and/or full-time live-in nannies who handle much of the childcare and household responsibilities.

Women are the ones who have the kids and are genetically set to do most of the nurturing. Women leaders tend to make many sacrifices. "Work/life balance is a big challenge; we are the ones who have the kids, and that's not going to change. Corporate careers are complex and women have a lot of choices, and that's a good thing; if we want more women to stay we have to signal to them that we value them and want to help them." according to Jennifer Allyn, managing director for gender, retention and advancement at Price Waterhouse Cooper, (one of the award winners where 3 of the top 17 top executives or 18% are women and are 16% of the 2,000 partners.)

More and more women are opting out of corporate America and starting their own business where they can set their own path and achieve more of what they want when they want it!

I'm curious, what are your thoughts about the decline in top leadership positions by women? Would this be something you'd want? Email me to share your views.

Yours,

Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com